Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Audaces Fortuna Juvat

Amazing Excuses

Recommended Posts

Millionaire Ehsan Abdulaziz was cleared of raping a teenager after claiming he allegedly "tripped over the end of her bed" and then admitting that he "might have inadvertently penetrated her".

Can anyone top this excuse, not that I'm calling him a liar or anything, no siree?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Millionaire Ehsan Abdulaziz was cleared of raping a teenager after claiming he allegedly "tripped over the end of her bed" and then admitting that he "might have inadvertently penetrated her".

Can anyone top this excuse, not that I'm calling him a liar or anything, no siree?

^^^

Started a thread asking for good rape excuses.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I met my mate for a pint to say bye yesterday since we were both going away for Christmas and new year. While at our table he hands me my Christmas present (I was completely oblivious to the fact we were doing presents)

I immediately told him that his present was in my flat and I'd forgotten to bring it and would pop round later on to drop it off.

Que mad dash into the shops before they closed

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"The money was just resting in my account"

or, from real life:

"I only let that guy shag me up the arse because he wanted to find out whether or not he was gay"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nice effort, but I have more Rohypnol than twenty men could ever use..................

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

y6ygzdkzef4hcgsmd4xx.gif

Edited by BigFatTabbyDave

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Saunders

For younger readers Ernest Saunders got a 5 year prison sentence reduced after it was claimed he was suffering from Alzheimer's. One miracle cure later (unattributed to Mother Teresa he typed mixing threads) and he carried on in business...

"Millionaire Ehsan Abdulaziz was cleared of raping a teenager after claiming he allegedly "tripped over the end of her bed" and then admitting that he "might have inadvertently penetrated her".

Interesting excuse- I must remember that one "Eh officer, I was just going for a skinny dip, took a short cut across this field, tripped up and accidentally entered that sheep...."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The apocryphal one about ex-STV presenter Bryce Curdy turning up at hospital with a lightbulb stuck up his chocolate whizzway - he apparently claimed he had been changing an old one, slipped, and "fell" on it...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I met my mate for a pint to say bye yesterday since we were both going away for Christmas and new year. While at our table he hands me my Christmas present (I was completely oblivious to the fact we were doing presents)

I immediately told him that his present was in my flat and I'd forgotten to bring it and would pop round later on to drop it off.

Que mad dash into the shops before they closed

Are you teenage girls?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The apocryphal one about ex-STV presenter Bryce Curdy turning up at hospital with a lightbulb stuck up his chocolate whizzway - he apparently claimed he had been changing an old one, slipped, and "fell" on it...

Sounds feasible, dunno about you but I know plenty of folk who change lightbulbs in the buff... Wonder what they wrote on his outpatient card ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't get the whole 'stuffing glass objects up your arse' thing. I can see anal insertion; some folk like the way it feels, so fair enough. But a breakable object that surely provides no extra stimulation, but which is liable to leave you in agony for months, and possibly needing a stoma bag? What's that all about? :huh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...