Audaces Fortuna Juvat Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Millionaire Ehsan Abdulaziz was cleared of raping a teenager after claiming he allegedly "tripped over the end of her bed" and then admitting that he "might have inadvertently penetrated her". Can anyone top this excuse, not that I'm calling him a liar or anything, no siree? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boostin' Kev Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Wish my aim was that good I usually end up poking the wardrobe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YassinMoutaouakil Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Millionaire Ehsan Abdulaziz was cleared of raping a teenager after claiming he allegedly "tripped over the end of her bed" and then admitting that he "might have inadvertently penetrated her". Can anyone top this excuse, not that I'm calling him a liar or anything, no siree? ^^^Started a thread asking for good rape excuses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bairn Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I met my mate for a pint to say bye yesterday since we were both going away for Christmas and new year. While at our table he hands me my Christmas present (I was completely oblivious to the fact we were doing presents) I immediately told him that his present was in my flat and I'd forgotten to bring it and would pop round later on to drop it off. Que mad dash into the shops before they closed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 "The money was just resting in my account" or, from real life: "I only let that guy shag me up the arse because he wanted to find out whether or not he was gay" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audaces Fortuna Juvat Posted December 18, 2015 Author Share Posted December 18, 2015 ^^^ Started a thread asking for good rape excuses. Nice effort, but I have more Rohypnol than twenty men could ever use.................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Nice effort, but I have more Rohypnol than twenty men could ever use.................. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Saunders For younger readers Ernest Saunders got a 5 year prison sentence reduced after it was claimed he was suffering from Alzheimer's. One miracle cure later (unattributed to Mother Teresa he typed mixing threads) and he carried on in business... "Millionaire Ehsan Abdulaziz was cleared of raping a teenager after claiming he allegedly "tripped over the end of her bed" and then admitting that he "might have inadvertently penetrated her". Interesting excuse- I must remember that one "Eh officer, I was just going for a skinny dip, took a short cut across this field, tripped up and accidentally entered that sheep...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pars fan Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 I was doing a spot of hoovering, I just happened to be in the scud when..... Yer maw told you to stop it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddiemunster Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 I was doing a spot of hoovering, I just happened to be in the scud when..... Just say it was Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 The apocryphal one about ex-STV presenter Bryce Curdy turning up at hospital with a lightbulb stuck up his chocolate whizzway - he apparently claimed he had been changing an old one, slipped, and "fell" on it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mohanaman Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Sure I heard a story about ex tv celebrity Paul Coia getting a gerbil stuck up his arse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dudu Dahan pal Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 "It was the company not the club" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjw Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 I met my mate for a pint to say bye yesterday since we were both going away for Christmas and new year. While at our table he hands me my Christmas present (I was completely oblivious to the fact we were doing presents) I immediately told him that his present was in my flat and I'd forgotten to bring it and would pop round later on to drop it off. Que mad dash into the shops before they closed Are you teenage girls? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wishyman Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Are you teenage girls? ???????????????????????????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Wish my aim was that good I usually end up poking the wardrobe. When you told this story before it was a tallboy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 When you told this story before it was a tallboy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mohanaman Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 The apocryphal one about ex-STV presenter Bryce Curdy turning up at hospital with a lightbulb stuck up his chocolate whizzway - he apparently claimed he had been changing an old one, slipped, and "fell" on it... Sounds feasible, dunno about you but I know plenty of folk who change lightbulbs in the buff... Wonder what they wrote on his outpatient card ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 I don't get the whole 'stuffing glass objects up your arse' thing. I can see anal insertion; some folk like the way it feels, so fair enough. But a breakable object that surely provides no extra stimulation, but which is liable to leave you in agony for months, and possibly needing a stoma bag? What's that all about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Don't knock it till you've tried it Dave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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