Rudolph Hucker Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Worked as a steward (I know, I'm a w****r) and, unsurprisingly, the venue where I witnessed the biggest meltdowns is Ibrox. Had several fat arseholes complaining to me about not letting them go and fight opposition fans or go on the pitch. The boy with the face tattoo was a particular highlight. Best game was the Motherwell play - off game last season. So many real tears and guys absolutely foaming at the mouth that their team was getting pumped and that Motherwell fans had the audacity to sing and enjoy themselves. I have also seen plenty of stewards being wankers too. And the winner of today's "NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!" Award is..... AIRDRIEMAN!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wishyman Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Should have spewed in her dinner. Same effect. Or her galant knight should've whipped out the old pecker and offered some knob cheese instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Worked as a steward (I know, I'm a w****r) and, unsurprisingly, the venue where I witnessed the biggest meltdowns is Ibrox. Had several fat arseholes complaining to me about not letting them go and fight opposition fans or go on the pitch. The boy with the face tattoo was a particular highlight. Best game was the Motherwell play - off game last season. So many real tears and guys absolutely foaming at the mouth that their team was getting pumped and that Motherwell fans had the audacity to sing and enjoy themselves. I have also seen plenty of stewards being wankers too. Games like the one you mentioned would be the only time being a steward would be enjoyable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jarkko Wiss Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Games like the one you mentioned would be the only time being a steward would be enjoyable. Depends how staunch you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airdrieman Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Games like the one you mentioned would be the only time being a steward would be enjoyable.You're right there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 The worst steward meltdown I've ever seen was at Dumbarton. A steward got some young lads chucked out the ground for singing "There's only one Harold Shipman!" at him, because he looked like Harold Shipman. Same steward then proceeded to watch in silence from ten feet away as a team of nine year old weegie jaikeballs threw sweets and wished cancer on the away fans, with their four toothed parents proudly smirking. I understand if you're a steward that has to stand in front of the same scummy bunch every second week you'll likely let them do whatever they want, but after twenty years of being harassed by minimum wage socially inadequate life failures who get a semi because they get a yellow coat for two hours a fortnight it does get slightly tedious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ebanda's Handyman Services Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 When I worked at Sky I used to look after teams on occasion which unfortunately meant that I'd take escalations. Had one woman on the phone who wasn't happy that one of the guys wasn't giving out her husbands username for Sky Go. I went on the phone and told her that my colleague was spot on with the info given and that, until I spoke to her husband, there was nothing I could do for her. Done the usual line of asking if there was anything else I could do for her... "Yes. Come down here and suck my husband's cock!" She slammed the phone down so I didn't get to ask her if her husband had a big wan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenconner Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 The worst steward meltdown I've ever seen was at Dumbarton. A steward got some young lads chucked out the ground for singing "There's only one Harold Shipman!" at him, because he looked like Harold Shipman. Same steward then proceeded to watch in silence from ten feet away as a team of nine year old weegie jaikeballs threw sweets and wished cancer on the away fans, with their four toothed parents proudly smirking. I understand if you're a steward that has to stand in front of the same scummy bunch every second week you'll likely let them do whatever they want, but after twenty years of being harassed by minimum wage socially inadequate life failures who get a semi because they get a yellow coat for two hours a fortnight it does get slightly tedious. Dumbarton = weegie jakeballs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamdunk Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 I was setting up a security question on someone's account once and asked the customer what was your father's main occupation? "A paedophile" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Brightside Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 I was setting up a security question on someone's account once and asked the customer what was your father's main occupation? "A paedophile" Someone asked a customer this in my work, the answer was "prostitute" I should add, it was "what is or was your mother's main occupation?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamdunk Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Someone asked a customer this in my work, the answer was "prostitute" Some people just don't give a f**k. Why would you share these things with a total stranger? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Brightside Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Some people just don't give a f**k. Why would you share these things with a total stranger? Even more baffling when you're telling the government this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Dumbarton = weegie jakeballs? It was a team of nine year olds who had been playing some final before the game. From Kirkintilloch or similar scheme of heroin and single glazed windows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotThePars Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Worked as a steward (I know, I'm a w****r) and, unsurprisingly, the venue where I witnessed the biggest meltdowns is Ibrox. Had several fat arseholes complaining to me about not letting them go and fight opposition fans or go on the pitch. The boy with the face tattoo was a particular highlight. Best game was the Motherwell play - off game last season. So many real tears and guys absolutely foaming at the mouth that their team was getting pumped and that Motherwell fans had the audacity to sing and enjoy themselves. I have also seen plenty of stewards being wankers too. I worked that game as well and the subway home with the Rangers was incredible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glenconner Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 It was a team of nine year olds who had been playing some final before the game. From Kirkintilloch or similar scheme of heroin and single glazed windows. Kirkintilloch = Glesga Naw jist naw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 From Kincardine or similar schemie Ftfy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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