Gaz Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 Surely the much longer walk cancelled out the fact that the treadmill wasn't working properly?I think you might be on to something here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 Neither pathetic or comical, just bizarre I suppose. Boy turned up at the electrical shop I worked at 20 odd years ago, with a goosed Bosch washing machine in tow. Starts down the sale of goods act, it was about 18 months old (bosch were 2 years g'tee but he didn't know that). Demands to see the manager and produces his receipt. The boss twigged straight away, it had been paid by cheque, and that cheque had bumped. So, he wanted the goods back (even though they're fucked) , the boy wants a new washer for nothing (got receipt , payment is a different matter). It was a Mexican standoff for an hour or so before they came to an agreement . We got the broken machine back, he got a hefty discount on a new one (and had to pay cash). It seems like the boy got a good deal, which he did, but for the boss it was a charge back of the full amount onto his p+l for recovering the goods from a bounced cheque. Strange business. The inconsistency in the use of tenses made for an awkward read there. 6/10 for storytelling, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 When I worked at Bank Of Scotland call centre, someone once demanded to speak to the head of HBOS. As if they guy was just sitting in the call centre in Dunfermline waiting to take calls from fandans all day. I work for a similar Banking Group and you still get people asking to speak to the CEO or asking how they can contact him. Add to that, c***s who are £500 overdrawn threatening to take their business elsewhere because you won't make their bank charges vanish up Martin Lewis' arse. You do that pal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 I work for a similar Banking Group and you still get people asking to speak to the CEO or asking how they can contact him. Add to that, c***s who are £500 overdrawn threatening to take their business elsewhere because you won't make their bank charges vanish up Martin Lewis' arse. You do that pal. Our letter templates have the CEO's name and signature on it. No idea why but i got a belter of a customer ranting once. This Welsh guy Phoned up and started asking to speak to the CEO as he personally wrote to him regarding his contents insurance. The idiot then went radge when I said he isn't in the office, it's a template and he needs to speak to us. "But the CEO has wrote to me, this is important business, listen to me" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pars fan Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 About ten years ago at my then work place. . .I served a young chap with his food, the next minute, a 6 ft 10 neanderthal figure appeared behind him (topless) Glasgow West End approx 3:45 am Saturday night. . . Giant topless bear : "Are you eating that?" Young chap: "Yeah, I'm quite looking forward to it what are you getting? " Giant topless bear : " Do you like rid sauce? " (Giant topless bear, proceeds to skoosh about three quarters of a catering size bottle of red sauce all over, him, his food, his bag. . .even the girl he was with took some ketchup abuse. I had to intervene at this point. I took the last quarter of 'rid' in the pus. (Giant topless bear was shortly apprehended by the local cops. Ten mins prior to 'heinzgate' he had beaten a bus driver and had some class A's in his possession.) Idiot could have just come up with a swapsy deal, before it got out of hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I got sacked from B&Q due to a customer meltdown. I worked in the garden centre, and a chubby guy in his 40's brought me a pathetic looking tray of pansies over and asked if he could have them for free. I said no, as we are not allowed to dish out stuff for free, but I would mark them down to 1p for him. He wasn't happy with this and demanded to see my manager, he duly came over and said the same, and that we really should be reducing it to half price so I was doing him a favour as it was. Customer called me, then my gaffer a pair of jobsworth c***s and launched his tray of pansies at me whilst shouting if we were outside he'd be knocking f**k out of me. I pointed out although under a canopy we were actually technically outside before launching the pansies back at him, connecting beautifully with his face. Handed my awful dayglo apron to my manager and walked out the shop. Lost my job so not my finest hour but my manager is eternally grateful I never dobbed him in during the investigation for howling with laughter after it. He did his best to get me off the hook but tbf it wasn't going to happen and I'm probably lucky I never got done for assault. Done for assault for throwing flowers at someone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Our letter templates have the CEO's name and signature on it. No idea why but i got a belter of a customer ranting once. This Welsh guy Phoned up and started asking to speak to the CEO as he personally wrote to him regarding his contents insurance. The idiot then went radge when I said he isn't in the office, it's a template and he needs to speak to us. "But the CEO has wrote to me, this is important business, listen to me" Its always funny when that call goes to a new member of staff who then proceeds to phone the CEO and explain that he has Mr Customer on the line and puts him through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Half A Person Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Working for Pizza Hut and they stopped offering parmesan to customers. We had a woman that wanted it and burst into tears when she was told we had none. She was genuinely inconsolable; her partner had to take her outside, arm around the shoulders, giving it the 'there, there' treatment. Eventually pulled herself together enough to come back in and eat her meal, but....Jesus, what a reaction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Working for Pizza Hut and they stopped offering parmesan to customers. We had a woman that wanted it and burst into tears when she was told we had none. She was genuinely inconsolable; her partner had to take her outside, arm around the shoulders, giving it the 'there, there' treatment. Eventually pulled herself together enough to come back in and eat her meal, but....Jesus, what a reaction. That was probably not about the cheese. Sounds like a case of the final nail in the coffin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Thompson Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Its always funny when that call goes to a new member of staff who then proceeds to phone the CEO and explain that he has Mr Customer on the line and puts him through. I worked in a bank call centre for about a year while at uni. In my first couple of weeks, as a temp, I had a call which came up VIP on the account. I chatted away, sorted what he wanted and off he went. Turned out it was the CEO of the bank and he called back to speak to a manager to say how great I was Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I worked in a bank call centre for about a year while at uni. In my first couple of weeks, as a temp, I had a call which came up VIP on the account. I chatted away, sorted what he wanted and off he went. Turned out it was the CEO of the bank and he called back to speak to a manager to say how great I was That's not giving the CEO a balanced view of how you or the company operates if you are given a heads up that it's a VIP on the line. It's like the Queen turning up at any event thinking everywhere is immaculate and smells of paint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stonedsailor Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Decent salesmen wouldn't have customers in meltdown. A decent salesman would send the customer away smiling having spent another £60 in the shop. Just saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Thompson Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 That's not giving the CEO a balanced view of how you or the company operates if you are given a heads up that it's a VIP on the line. It's like the Queen turning up at any event thinking everywhere is immaculate and smells of paint. True. There were quite a few accounts marked as VIP, to be honest. It had never been mentioned in the hour, or so, training I'd had so I didnt really know the significance until after the call. ETA - it did give a balanced view of my awesomeness though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 True. There were quite a few accounts marked as VIP, to be honest. It had never been mentioned in the hour, or so, training I'd had so I didnt really know the significance until after the call. ETA - it do give a balanced view of my awesomeness though It would have been interesting if they'd called your bluff and 'Unemployed, chain smoking, alcoholic junkie' had flashed up on your screen as the call came in to see how that went. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 True. There were quite a few accounts marked as VIP, to be honest. It had never been mentioned in the hour, or so, training I'd had so I didnt really know the significance until after the call. ETA - it do give a balanced view of my awesomeness though If not your English skills... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Working for Pizza Hut and they stopped offering parmesan to customers. We had a woman that wanted it and burst into tears when she was told we had none. She was genuinely inconsolable; her partner had to take her outside, arm around the shoulders, giving it the 'there, there' treatment. Eventually pulled herself together enough to come back in and eat her meal, but....Jesus, what a reaction. What a fucking disgrace. Nae parmesan... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Should have spewed in her dinner. Same effect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Thompson Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 It would have been interesting if they'd called your bluff and 'Unemployed, chain smoking, alcoholic junkie' had flashed up on your screen as the call came in to see how that went. I would have got bored seeing that come up on every second call, alternating with "Cant comprehend basic interest charges" If not your English skills... oops Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airdrieman Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Worked as a steward (I know, I'm a w****r) and, unsurprisingly, the venue where I witnessed the biggest meltdowns is Ibrox. Had several fat arseholes complaining to me about not letting them go and fight opposition fans or go on the pitch. The boy with the face tattoo was a particular highlight. Best game was the Motherwell play - off game last season. So many real tears and guys absolutely foaming at the mouth that their team was getting pumped and that Motherwell fans had the audacity to sing and enjoy themselves. I have also seen plenty of stewards being wankers too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Working for Pizza Hut and they stopped offering parmesan to customers. We had a woman that wanted it and burst into tears when she was told we had none. She was genuinely inconsolable; her partner had to take her outside, arm around the shoulders, giving it the 'there, there' treatment. Eventually pulled herself together enough to come back in and eat her meal, but....Jesus, what a reaction. Tbf that was me when Costa stopped doing Sicilian lemonade coolers and replaced them with peach and mango. I told the girl she had ruined my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.