Grim O'Grady Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 (edited) Bit too much info on Mozza's masturbatory habits there, Grimbo. Some of those catapults were lethal. I picked one up from an Army Surplus store that could send a rock clear across a huge waterlogged chalk pit near where I lived. Discovered that by possibly hitting some grown-up sunbathers, who were by no means amused. Couldn't tell if I caused any damage or not because they were so far away. I'm assuming they wouldn't have taken ignorance of my weapon's power as an excuse Mind the binoclearrs at the time. Absolutely useless to be able to see what collateral damage you could have inflicted on the lazy sunbathers. Mind if yous are that far away, escape without twoggy confiscation would be to the max. I wonder what the school teachers of our epoch did with all the ill-gotten bounty of ours? Thinking back the binoclears were far better than the X-Ray spex eh? Edited December 17, 2015 by Grim O'Grady 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 f**k me it's like last of the summer wine in here, as everyone died? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fae_the_'briggs Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 All the auld duffers are probably sitting at home dreading the upcoming festive period and the thought of having to be cheery and civil to the rest of the family, and how much this "having a good time" is going to cost. Or maybe it's only me. F_t_b (definitely not BFTD) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 f**k me it's like last of the summer wine in here, as everyone died?wife away to see the rollers up the barrowlands so been out for a few jars with the young uns, f**k me I cudnae keep up wi they wee fuckers 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Sorry, Grimbo, been the hospital 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Well I go away for the weekend & this place goes to shit, aw you know I cares about all you auld fucks an all. Oh & F-T-B's we all know it's only coincidence about yous being B-F-T-D. Oh & B-F-T-D now I've watched Chasing Amy does that mean I now have to watch Clerks? Godammit 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Why do people stop walking when they get onto an escalator? Does my nut in. They can walk about a shopping centre without any problem at all, but as soon as they get on moving stairs or walkways they seem to lose the power of their legs and just stand there like feckin penguins till they get slid aff at the other end. Up the way of down the way, it's all the bloody same, and it's even worse when, like most of 'em do, they stand there dreaming in the middle and I can't get past 'em. Say "Excuse me" to them and you get a look as if you'd just farted in their shopping bags, and there's little point anyway because there'll be another who's taken root two yards further on, and then another, and so on. Unless you're old, unwell of have mobility issues these things are there to make things slightly easier for you, not to do all the work. It's the pedestrian equivalent of driving too slowly in the outside lane of the dual carriageway, and the guilty parties should be put in stocks outside shopping malls and have rotten tomatoes flung at them. Merry bloody Christmas. -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strichener Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Why do people stop walking when they get onto an escalator? Does my nut in. They can walk about a shopping centre without any problem at all, but as soon as they get on moving stairs or walkways they seem to lose the power of their legs and just stand there like feckin penguins till they get slid aff at the other end. Up the way of down the way, it's all the bloody same, and it's even worse when, like most of 'em do, they stand there dreaming in the middle and I can't get past 'em. Say "Excuse me" to them and you get a look as if you'd just farted in their shopping bags, and there's little point anyway because there'll be another who's taken root two yards further on, and then another, and so on. Unless you're old, unwell of have mobility issues these things are there to make things slightly easier for you, not to do all the work. It's the pedestrian equivalent of driving too slowly in the outside lane of the dual carriageway, and the guilty parties should be put in stocks outside shopping malls and have rotten tomatoes flung at them. Merry bloody Christmas. I detest the auld fuckers that canna cope with progress, escalators replace stairs. If you want to keep climbing, go and find the emergency stairwell and stop annoying those of us who don't have to rush about everywhere. I also hate pushy b*****ds with no patience. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 21, 2015 Author Share Posted December 21, 2015 I don't mind if you're too decrepit to climb the escalator, but please, shift over to one side so's the folks with less serious arthritis can get past, eh? Oh & B-F-T-D now I've watched Chasing Amy does that mean I now have to watch Clerks?Godammit You don't have to, but I'd recommend it, if you're fond of this laughing thing that the youngsters seen to like. Considering we never seem to be online at the same time, I'm wondering if there's a Fight Club-style thing going on with me and FTB. Might explain why I'm so tired and look so old. I'm only 21, but nobody believe me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I don't mind if you're too decrepit to climb the escalator, but please, shift over to one side so's the folks with less serious arthritis can get past, eh? This. In fairness the rise on an escalator 'stair' is far great than one normal stair but if you don't want to walk up or cant then stand to one side. Same with moving walkways in airports, folk standing two abreast with their suitcases - piss off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
strichener Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 (edited) I don't mind if you're too decrepit to climb the escalator, but please, shift over to one side so's the folks with less serious arthritis can get past, eh? This. In fairness the rise on an escalator 'stair' is far great than one normal stair but if you don't want to walk up or cant then stand to one side. Same with moving walkways in airports, folk standing two abreast with their suitcases - piss off. I usually do stand to one side but my balance is so poor that I need to make sure that I hold onto both the handrails. Edited December 21, 2015 by strichener 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ya Bezzer! Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Maybe I've just become a lunatic or something but I was using a self service machine in Tesco tonight and I'm pretty sure when I took the receipt out the machine it said "Ho ho ho Merry Christmas". f**k that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 People who walk up or down on escalators are complete fucking c***s 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 People who walk up or down on escalators are fitter c***s than me. That's more like it. -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudolph Hucker Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Maybe I've just become a lunatic or something but I was using a self service machine in Tesco tonight and I'm pretty sure when I took the receipt out the machine it said "Ho ho ho Merry Christmas". f**k that. I'd be very careful if I were you. I've always made a point of listening to the voices in my pants and it's always stood me in good stead. -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mohanaman Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I wonder what the school teachers of our epoch did with all the ill-gotten bounty of ours? Aye back then it was catapults, chewing gum and the beano. Nowadays it's heroin, crack pipes and snuff movies and that's just the first years. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa Cuddy Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I was on a down escalator earlier today while a woman stood in front of me filming the fucking journey on her phone. Stupid bitch. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 I was on a down escalator earlier today while a woman stood in front of me filming the fucking journey on her phone. Stupid bitch. You had the opportunity to make that video a lot more interesting. Ceiling Escalator steps Ceiling Escalator steps Ceiling Escalator steps Floor With a soundtrack of thumps and screams. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akredz Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 All the auld duffers are probably sitting at home dreading the upcoming festive period and the thought of having to be cheery and civil to the rest of the family, and how much this "having a good time" is going to cost. Or maybe it's only me. F_t_b (definitely not BFTD) Do you know how long it took me to work out what BFTD stood for? I was feart to google it just in case it was "inappropriate". (having previously googled some trendy phrase that definitely meant something different in my day.) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted December 22, 2015 Share Posted December 22, 2015 Acronymfinder What does BFTD stand for? Your abbreviation search returned 4 meanings showing only Slang/Internet Slang definitions (Show all) Rank Abbr. Meaning BFTD Band for the Day BFTD Best Friends Til Death BFTD Boyz from the Dwarf (World of Warcraft guild) Note: We have 2 other definitions for BFTD in our Acronym Attic I did not venture in to the Attic but I bet that's where our Dave is? Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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