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The Mattydfc Awards 2015


Addie

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Don't be disappointed the reason that was given was clearly just for funny reasons ie the w**k sock and the football support change (all of which wasn't relevant in 2015)

Besides if there was a top 50 posters I would fancy being higher up than 48 on that list if we did the same process

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I agree with Bennett though. If you ever have the misfortune to stumble into the BRALT, he's in there holding court with his fellow simpletons, giving people nicknames and pretending the last time he ventured out didn't end in glorious embarrassment.

Didn't he do a tear stained resignation as well?
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No 46

The Phoenix

Why?

Because Miskateer Gripweed voted for him among others.

Cuntometer Rating: 7

The Phoenix is a funny guy. Not because he makes people laugh, but he still lives in an era of the Bob Monkhouse esq puns. However he does bring something to the forum - for starters he makes Zen Archer barely tolerable in comparison.

He doesn't post much on General Nonsense these days, so this would explain his low scoring in the cuntometer; his only thread this year was Catchphrase Thread back in January 2015. This was a pretty decent thread tbh.

The Phoenix was the lovechild of a Victorian Master and his chambermaid in the Victorian Workhouse of Stirling circa 1908. His main influences in life were Bob Monkhouse, Jim Davidson and Larry Burns and is a qualified Fletcher. He has a passion for birds of prey and his favourite animal is the Osprey.

'A genuinely unpunny poster.'

Lenny Henry

'The phoenix is to comedy, what Grimbo is to corporate finance'

Mary Berry

'I'd rather chew on Throbber's socks than read The Phoenix's posts'

8mileBU

'Always welcome in our forum'

Fan of the Juniors

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No 45

CraigKillie

Rep Count: 3821

Posts: 27,177

One of Ayrshire's most boring exports since New Cumnock, CraigKillie has been on this site for what feels like eons due to his ever found desire to know things about Scottish Football - you know, like how many toilet seats are in the in left hand bogs in the Davie Cooper Stand. Stuff that's important to a lot of people obviously.

He moved to Australia this year to manage a massage parlour, staffed by Anthea Turner look-a-likes in dwarf form. Nah not really, he is probably a chartered accountant or something like that.

Recently, Craig started a thread 'Who's behind you' in an effort to re-invent himself. Tbf he isn't entirely boring though. Here are some of his more exciting examples:

We haven't been declining over the last few years - here are the points earned per season since 2008/09.

CLwr86QWUAAHdpD.png

This belter was really good too.

Don't just take my word for it though...

'...dunno why, just irks me somewhat with the tone of his posts. Tends to answer a question with a question. Buffoon.'

Mozza

'a pretty tedious poster, needs to put the factbook down and get his hole. Bores the tits off of everyone.'

Tarmo Kink

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Craigkillie should be nowhere near the list solely for this exchange (even though it was last year):


Do that in the street, you'd be expecting a court date.

This is one of the most ridiculous things that people say. If you completed a perfectly executed slide tackle on an old lady doing her shopping you'd probably end up in court too.

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