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P&B Guinness book of world records.


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Are you an unofficial world record holder?

Are you thinking that land speed record looks a piece o pish, I could beat that?

Do you think your w**k sock has had more hits than a 2nd hand dartboard. (No P&B lege in mind on this one).

Well here is the place to stand up proud & tell us what you are the World Record breaker of?

Bagsy 1st go cos I started the book.

I am the current world record holder of starting the shortest hunger strike in the world. We never missed a meal.

Because it can only be verified by the other cons & the polis (it was in a police station not a prison) both are too unreliable for Mr McWhirter to officially confirm my record but I know the truth.

So here you go now tell us your record breaking feats?

Grimbo

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Not me personally but a friend of mine was the worlds fastest texter. He won the competition in London, setting a new world record at the time. That evening, the Sun took him to Stringfellows in a limo full of page 3 girls. Some carry on he got out of it for a few years, through various media appearances etc His record was eventually smashed by some 14 year old South Korean girl.

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Fucking swingball?

The book is full of shite like this these days.

Im disgusted with you Ross, disgusted.

I'm disgusted with myself. I thought it was something else entirely. Disgusted and disappointed.

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I'm disgusted with myself. I thought it was something else entirely. Disgusted and disappointed.

Was it of a competitive standard? I ask because I remember a world record attempt for "biggest ever custard pie fight", televised on Linford's Record Breakers (BBC) c.late-90s.

It was a fucking sham. They weren't even throwing them at each other. Just fucking about throwing them any old place. Disgusted.

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I can get from an obscure clubs wikipedia page to any lower league Scottish team quicker than anyone I know. We've done races at Uni and I'm streaks ahead.

I'd like the record for that please, Grimbo.

Used to love this game, spent far too long messing about on Wiki. Get from Cadbury Roses to Samuel L. Jackson in less than 4 hyperlinks...

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Used to love this game, spent far too long messing about on Wiki. Get from Cadbury Roses to Samuel L. Jackson in less than 4 hyperlinks...

That is good. My most proud moment was going from SP La Fiorita (San Marino) to Montrose in 8 clicks via Kim Kallstrom and Hull City.

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