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Steaming Stories


11thHour
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Couldn't seem to find any other threads solely for stories of being absolutely rubber so thought I'd make one. If there is already one available then someone be a dear and lock this and bump the original.

At my mates wedding at the weekend I was reminded of the story of when he was that pished in the garage in Glasgow he spewed into his pint glass, instantly forgot about it and then drank from the glass. Sitting thinking about that there made me think of other times myself or my mates have been more rubber than man and thought it might be a good thread for any steaming bams out there willing to regail us with yer best tales from the drunken darkness so have at it!

Edited by 11thHour
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Couldn't seem to find any other threads solely for stories of being absolutely rubber so thought I'd make one. If there is already one available then someone be a dear and lock this and bump the original.

At my mates wedding at the weekend I was reminded of the story of when he was that pished in the garage in Glasgow he spewed into his pint glass, instantly forgot about it and then drank from the glass. Sitting thinking about that there made me think of other times myself or my mates have been more rubber than man and thought it might be a good thread for any steaming bams out there willing to regail us with yer best tales from the drunken darkness so have at it!

beer-vomit-o.gif

Your mate?

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That 1 day I was a Muslim the other week was the clearest day of my life, I don't think I posted on P&Bland that day, I missedit so much I had to denounce my new found religion & return to the joint scourges of the drink & here.

Grimbo

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Mines are mostly me trying to go for a pish thinking I'm near a bog only to be nowhere near anything. Missus' bedroom bin, kitchen table, the smaller room of megabar. Fun times. Maybe I'm just a secret drunken flasher kidding on I'm trying to slash.

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For my birthday a few years ago I was back in Dunfermline for a night out where I proceeded to get so drunk that my mates had to basically walk me home. I got to my parents house and they left me as I was walking round to the back door to use my key. Should be a simple 10 second job to get from the gate to in the kitchen.

I woke up the next day and immediately had a bad feeling. Lept out of bed and ran outside.

Somehow from front gate to back door I managed to be sick all over the patio, sick all down myself, lose my glasses in the garden, leave my shoes beside each other in the middle of the grass and leave my phone on the patio.

Thankfully it hadn't been raining or my phone and shoes would have been ruined. Went up town and managed to get a new pair of glasses made quickly at Vision Express as I was going to Airdrie v Cowdenbeath and had boardroom tickets and I wanted to actually see the game.

That was 3 years ago I think. The glasses have never been found :lol:

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For my birthday a few years ago I was back in Dunfermline for a night out where I proceeded to get so drunk that my mates had to basically walk me home. I got to my parents house and they left me as I was walking round to the back door to use my key. Should be a simple 10 second job to get from the gate to in the kitchen.

I woke up the next day and immediately had a bad feeling. Lept out of bed and ran outside.

Somehow from front gate to back door I managed to be sick all over the patio, sick all down myself, lose my glasses in the garden, leave my shoes beside each other in the middle of the grass and leave my phone on the patio.

Thankfully it hadn't been raining or my phone and shoes would have been ruined. Went up town and managed to get a new pair of glasses made quickly at Vision Express as I was going to Airdrie v Cowdenbeath and had boardroom tickets and I wanted to actually see the game.

That was 3 years ago I think. The glasses have never been found :lol:

It's mental what goes through your mind at times like this. Woke up with a carton of milk next to me one time and only one shoe on. Other one was in the fridge.

Got home one night with a McDonald's and for some reason I decided to sit in the close to eat it. Woke up in bed thinking all was well but apparently I crashed out sitting down in the close and my step brother who is half my weight had to drag me up the stairs. Can't mind any of it.

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Walked (staggered) into someone else's house thinking it was mine and nearly got stabbed by the occupant in their kitchen.

Good times.

Similarly, I got in to the wrong bed one night. We'd had a bit of a party and I was up last for a change (I normally slink off and fall asleep on the bog). As I was steaming and stinking of fags and booze I thought I'd be a nice husband and sleep in the spare room. Early in the morning I got up and got into bed with the missus. She asked if I'd slept on the sofa. "No", says I. "I slept in the spare bed". But my friend was sleeping in the spare bed, says missus. We both got up to investigate and found her pal on the sofa. I think I'd scared her when I got into bed next to her, not even realising she was there.

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It's mental what goes through your mind at times like this. Woke up with a carton of milk next to me one time and only one shoe on. Other one was in the fridge.

Got home one night with a McDonald's and for some reason I decided to sit in the close to eat it. Woke up in bed thinking all was well but apparently I crashed out sitting down in the close and my step brother who is half my weight had to drag me up the stairs. Can't mind any of it.

From that night I posted above I had left a massive pizza box on the back door step. Literally must have been an extra large pizza and I had only had half a slice. Gutting.

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I got wasted in Melbourne and got lost trying to find my way to the hostel. Finally found a taxi and got in. Driver was Turkish and after I told him where I wanted to go he said 'your Scottish? Souness is a c**t'. Then had the whole journey with a shoutie Turk ranting about how much he hated souness. Fun times.

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Similarly, I got in to the wrong bed one night. We'd had a bit of a party and I was up last for a change (I normally slink off and fall asleep on the bog). As I was steaming and stinking of fags and booze I thought I'd be a nice husband and sleep in the spare room. Early in the morning I got up and got into bed with the missus. She asked if I'd slept on the sofa. "No", says I. "I slept in the spare bed". But my friend was sleeping in the spare bed, says missus. We both got up to investigate and found her pal on the sofa. I think I'd scared her when I got into bed next to her, not even realising she was there.

Something similar happened to one of my mates not that long ago. We were all out and he had went back to another mates to get a few more drinks then head home, but he fell asleep on the couch for a while before waking up thinking he was in his own house. He then headed upstairs to my other mates bedroom where he proceeded to pull the covers off the bed shouting "baby I'm home" all to be met with the shouts and f**k offs of my mates pissed off girlfriend.

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Similarly, I got in to the wrong bed one night. We'd had a bit of a party and I was up last for a change (I normally slink off and fall asleep on the bog). As I was steaming and stinking of fags and booze I thought I'd be a nice husband and sleep in the spare room. Early in the morning I got up and got into bed with the missus. She asked if I'd slept on the sofa. "No", says I. "I slept in the spare bed". But my friend was sleeping in the spare bed, says missus. We both got up to investigate and found her pal on the sofa. I think I'd scared her when I got into bed next to her, not even realising she was there.

"Not even realising she was there"

Aaaaaaaaayyyyyyeeeee right.

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