Grim O'Grady Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I have a suspicion that those using wet wipes and the like are suffering from "Farmer Giles". Real men use Izal! I once got caught short when I was doing my house up & there was no toilet paper. Luckily there was a screw fix direct catalogue. Even when proper scrunched up it still minded me of the old izal. Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Please stop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieT1314 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I was hill walking once, and felt the call. nipped into a bush to squeeze one out, but i hadnt pulled my trousers down far enough, the shite went straight down the trouser leg and popped out the bottom, that was a skidder and a half Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I agree, come on lads & lasses let's turn it down a bit eh, I'm having me dinner, ffs. Grimbo Dinner? At lunch time? Not the whole 'lunch v dinner v tea v supper' argument already? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Dinner? At lunch time? Not the whole 'lunch v dinner v tea v supper' argument already? I didn't go to a posh school our dinner ladies were called dinner ladies. End of. Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieT1314 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Did you find any porn? Nah, it was a bad day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I was hill walking once, and felt the call. nipped into a bush to squeeze one out, but i hadnt pulled my trousers down far enough, the shite went straight down the trouser leg and popped out the bottom, that was a skidder and a half A guy walking his dog has just given me a strange look as I let out one of those loud nose sniggers almost right in his ear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 A friend's older brother was on holiday in Magaluf once and shouted "check this out lads" in the hotel room. Everyone turned round to see him on the bed, boxers down, trying to light a fart. Unfortunately, he was too pished to retain bodily control and proceeded to shite himself. True story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believe The Hype Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Please stop. Skidmarks the name, Skidmarks not the game it seems Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Skidmarks the name, Skidmarks not the game it seems It was more about Grimbo than the shitting stories tbh. If you've got a faecal tale then fill yer boots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killienick Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I suppose the real question is does anyone shit in the sink or brush their teeth on the crapper? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I suppose the real question is does anyone shit in the sink or brush their teeth on the crapper? Could this be the origin of the phrase "I'd use her shite for toothpaste"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killienick Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Could this be the origin of the phrase "I'd use her shite for toothpaste"? Not sure I've ever heard that phrase bud! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Not sure I've ever heard that phrase bud! You've obviously never spotted the right woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieT1314 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 The real question is where do you cut your toenails? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 Could this be the origin of the phrase "I'd use her shite for toothpaste"? I've heard that, along with "I'd use her pubes for dental floss". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I've heard that, along with "I'd use her pubes for dental floss". "I'd drink her bath water" "I'd let her shit on my chest and hit it with a cricket bat" God bless The Viz for that last one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 "I'd eat the sweetcorn out her shite" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieT1314 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I'd eat her holiday shites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 I'd ride you to get to her Ah, teenage kicks, so hard to beat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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