Fide Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 Whilst we're on the subject of shitting habits, a friend recently let on to me that he only takes a shite if he has wet wipes available. I found this extremely strange until another friend piped up saying he was the same. Am I the one in the wrong here and the whole world has moved on from mere scented toilet paper to wet wipes? EDIT - I should state I'm firmly in the "lift a cheek and wipe" crew. What sort of muppet stands up? Your arse cheeks close when you stand up, it must be a horrible mess to clean up. I may or may not have discovered the cleansing, soothing goodness of wet wipes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Sometimes my arse is in such a mess I have to go into the shower and squad down and use the shower likes it's a bidet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Whilst we're on the subject of shitting habits, a friend recently let on to me that he only takes a shite if he has wet wipes available. I found this extremely strange until another friend piped up saying he was the same. Am I the one in the wrong here and the whole world has moved on from mere scented toilet paper to wet wipes? EDIT - I should state I'm firmly in the "lift a cheek and wipe" crew. What sort of muppet stands up? Your arse cheeks close when you stand up, it must be a horrible mess to clean up. These sub human scum are the reason our sewers are in the state they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieT1314 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Been toying with the idea of introducing wet wipes into my daily routine, it would mean taking a bag everywhere and also taking it to the toilet like a burd. I think that is what's stopping me, never say never though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Been toying with the idea of introducing wet wipes into my daily routine, it would mean taking a bag everywhere and also taking it to the toilet like a burd. I think that is what's stopping me, never say never though. This was where I felt the whole thing fell down. He stated that he didn't carry wet wipes with him so would wait until he got home. That's just not something I can do, when Mr Brown knocks on the door I've got to let him out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieT1314 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Same, done 4 jobbies in work the other day after a night of curry and beer, there is no way i could risk waiting till i got home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Folk that put, let's call them what they are, baby wipes down the toilet are worse than Hitler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Believe The Hype Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Whilst we're on the subject of shitting habits, a friend recently let on to me that he only takes a shite if he has wet wipes available. I found this extremely strange until another friend piped up saying he was the same. Am I the one in the wrong here and the whole world has moved on from mere scented toilet paper to wet wipes? EDIT - I should state I'm firmly in the "lift a cheek and wipe" crew. What sort of muppet stands up? Your arse cheeks close when you stand up, it must be a horrible mess to clean up. A boy I used to play football with used to do this only to mistake the wet wipes one time for Flash bleach wipes. Had to jump in the shower and hose himself down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Sometimes my arse is in such a mess I have to go into the shower and squad down and use the shower likes it's a bidet How many constitutes a quorum? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 What a hilarious typo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Why does Grimbo not just write 'Grimbo' in his signature? Surely that would be easier? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fide Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 He's had a stroke. Dont mock the afflicted. I had a stroke this morning. Absolutely destroyed two sheets of Plenty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallo_Madrid Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 See, I'm the exact opposite. I just cannot fathom how someone could properly wipe themselves whilst seated. It baffles and disgusts me. Until the original P&B thread about this subject a while back it had never even occurred to me that there were people out there sitting to wipe. Clatty b*****ds. I brush my teeth in the shower in the morning. Brushing my teeth in the shower saves both time and effort. As for pooping. Sitting down, your bum cheeks are at the perfect angle to get a good solid wipe. In a standing position, the cheeks are surely (quite naturally) clenched closer together to achieve anything but a mediocre wipe. Are skid marks an occurrence? The image in my head of a grown man standing up whilst wiping his arse greatly amuses me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallo_Madrid Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 There's now wet tissues you can use that won't block plumbing and sewers. I've tried them and liked them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Still not sitting. Compromise with Shiting? Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Brushing my teeth in the shower saves both time and effort. As for pooping. Sitting down, your bum cheeks are at the perfect angle to get a good solid wipe. In a standing position, the cheeks are surely (quite naturally) clenched closer together to achieve anything but a mediocre wipe. Are skid marks an occurrence? The image in my head of a grown man standing up whilst wiping his arse greatly amuses me. I feel like we're speaking completely different languages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 This thread is disgusting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 Why does Grimbo not just write 'Grimbo' in his signature? Surely that would be easier? I'll ask eh? He says he being a mardy c**t & doesn't want to talk to anyone. Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I have a suspicion that those using wet wipes and the like are suffering from "Farmer Giles". Real men use Izal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 This thread is disgusting. I agree, come on lads & lasses let's turn it down a bit eh, I'm having me dinner, ffs. Grimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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