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1st time I got sent down. I spent the first night in the police cells. The filth that lead me to my cell asked what sentence I got. I told him 14 days for non payment of the poll tax. He said he would have given me 14 years on bread & water. I laughed thinking he was taking the piss, no he wasn't. The funny thing is that when they brought me some food to my cell, I'd already informed him I am a veggy, he gave me a chicken pizza. I told him Ii'm vegetarian he replied vegetarians eat chicken. I wasn't that hungry, he was that thick.

Grimbo

I'd give you ten years for being a vegetarian and another ten for posting "Grimbo" after each of your posts.

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I'd give you ten years for being a vegetarian and another ten for posting "Grimbo" after each of your posts.

Well if you'd have been the magistrate then & with good behavior I'd have got out 13 years ago anyway so I'd still be a veggy & still in your life on here so you can see me sign off each post...

Grimbo xxx

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Well if you'd have been the magistrate then & with good behavior I'd have got out 13 years ago anyway so I'd still be a veggy & still in your life on here so you can see me sign off each post...

Grimbo xxx

Not if they searched your flat and found all the dead hookers.

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My police story:

When my grandad died we had to force the door to his house and the police had to come out. One of the policewomen was an absolute 11, she was the spitting image of Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch (hot Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch, not strung out cokehead Yasmine Bleeth of later years).

I always find it strange that she is the first thing I think about whenever I think about the day my grandad died.

You must have been well bladdered. She was the stripper at the wake.

FTP

Aye, it is supposed to be the proddies who run the polis, isn't it? :ph34r:

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Quickest way to get them to come is to tell them that you think the person involved has a gun. When they arrive and find out there is no gun just tell them that you must have been mistaken, but, whilst you are here can you.........

Once called them and they wouldn't come out. Told them I would sort things myself then to which they told me to stop making threats on an open phone line and then informed me that I would be arrested if I done anything.

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There was a police thing on the telly recently, can't remember what is was called but it was one of these shows where you get a bot of the action then a the police would be discussing it.

They all came across as massive, stuck up, I am the law type baw bags.

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When I got pulled for not having a seat belt on, I thought the traffic cop was gonnae have a seizure, the knob was right up in my face shouting with spit coming out his mouth, proper turning hysterical, even the woman pc with him was telling him to calm down and she eventually told him to go into the car! I was totally WTF! Of course I was in the wrong and accepted my fine but he had the sirens and lights going on, doing a 3point turn in the street..the full Bhoona for a seat belt! Looking back it was a surreal experience and with situations like that it is no wonder some folk don't hold the police in the highest of regard.

His lady colleague...I wouldn't have minded taking down her particulars, a total wid....7/10

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The problem with the Police is they seem to think their job automatically qualifies them for respect. The two that post on here couldn't wait to tell us what they did for a living.

Im sure there are some sound ones, but the majority are little bitches who were bullied at school.

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I started the job I'm in now at the same time as a fella who'd just left the police and I have admit that I've now fallen into line with everyone else at work in agreeing that he's a grade A pick.

He talks about money constantly and although he's on a lot more now than he was he still goes on about how much he got for being a copper despite it requiring tons of overtime to achieve it ... he even randomly produced an old pay slip to show me in what appeared to be an attempt at impressing me - it genuinely wasn't all that much ... and he paid a whack out for some police fund as well.

I thought he'd have a few good stories to tell but besides one amusing anecdote about a dog handler getting caught having a w**k the rest are all about following shoplifters around Edinburgh.

He also posts all the shite about paint on fences on Facebook !!

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It was the year 2000 and Saints were on a fantastic run. I had been at a game earlier with friends and stayed out celebrating.

On leaving the pub/club at the death of the night I popped my last eccie before heading to the taxi rank for a mingle before heading to someone's party. On route I met a fellow buddie where we started to belt out the ole "oo to.. oo to be.. oo to be a buddie !" when a young copper told me to shut up.. i walked over to him and stated this wasn't nazi Germany when the c**t flung me up against a wall and cuffed me.

Whilst waiting for a panda van to come to pick me up the wee dick started to push the cuffs at an angle cutting right into my wrists. I told the female officer (defo wid) who was with him what he was doing and he was trying to get me to react. This was fking sore my wrists were all marked, fking shocking behaviour.

When i got back to the nick the last eccie was obviously in full swing, when i tried to tell the desk c**t what the other c**t had done to my wrists he just shouted at me, i mean fking bellowed "shhhut uuuup !!"

I got lead to the cell once dealt with they gave me a hairy grey/brown rug type thing to sleep in, not a fking chance i was sleeping mind you.

At 6am a half decent copper came and took my fingerprints and a mouth swab thing (is that even legal when no crime has been reported ?).

They then let me go at half past eleven.

This is my only proper dealings with the police in the being naughty sense and i can truly say c***s to a man.

Sounds like you were being a bit of a dick tbh, not really much to complain about there.

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