19QOS19 Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Probably not funny written down, but was pretty comical at the time. During our pre-season game against Killie there was a group of lads acting like fannies singing/shouting at the Killie fans for large parts of the game (they were sat as close as you could get to the away section). A couple of Killie fans were giving it back a bit throughout. Killie took the lead midway through the second half and one of the boys in our section started singing "It's nice to know you're here!" In a heartbeat, one of the Killie boys sang back in the same tune "It's nice to know you're speccy!" The support from both sides just burst out into fits of laughter. What made it more funny is that the wee guy it was directed at lost the plot and was absolutely seething. It didn't help that his pals were in fits of laughter as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattydfc Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 I remember Dundee fans made a fat St Johnstone fan cry the other year with a rendition of "fatty's a virgin" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_Stewart Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 I know it's a football website and that so it dictates that there'll be a lot of "football shouts", but the vast majority of "patter at the fitba" is fucking horrendous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 So is it a biscuit, or a sandwich? At this stage, I may need to make it a full roast dinner to be believable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 I was giving a co-worker a lift home in my family-sponsored Lexus, when we arrived at her rodenty hovel. She suggested we make full use of the smooth electronic recliner seats, and I screamed "CAAAAKKKEEEE!" repeatedly in her face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Was reminded today of a great put down from a female , I was once giving g a lift to her work, it was common knowledge that she would pay in kind to the previous guy who have her a lift, but as he had left to work elsewhere I now volunteered. Anyway after two weeks I suggested that she jump in the back of t be car and we could settle up. She promptly told me no, and got out of the car, To which I said" yeah . Well why don't you go f**k your self cos everyone else has". And her retort sorted me out" is that right, well you haven't" I couldn't help but applaud her remark, What's the best you've heard or given. Not sure what would be worse - if this is true or if he's made it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Henry Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Does anyone know a good put down for when someone calls you fat, preferably one about shagging someones wife and getting fed for doing it? Throbber, you probably said it to one of your co-workers when you were employed as the King of France's head footman. I'd go with either, "I know you are but what am I?" (timeless classic) or "big wows." (Oscar Wilde) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BradHorse Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Was it not on here that some random juniors fan with no avatar or anything dismissed someone as a 'c**t supper'? Still to this day I find that hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Henry Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Think this thread has taken a disappointing turn away from the OP's beastery. I have a feeling it may be Denis Nielsen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OFFS DUNDEE!! Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 OFFS DUNDEE!!'s dog. Cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Cool. Your dead dog will be now, yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Was in a band at school and had a blister on finger (which sucks playing guitar) and had to stop for a while as it burst and I needed to clean it. The rather chubby other guitarist wasn't impressed and kept telling me to stop being a pussy and asked me why I was such a girl. I replied with 'whose the one with tits?' Guitars and part of drum kit went flying as he tried to get at me. Funny now, mental then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OFFS DUNDEE!! Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Your dead dog will be now, yes. Even cooler. you're a star mate. You should be very proud of yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MONKMAN Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Ya squidnugget. Still one of greatest insults, I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweaty Morph Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Not sure where it originated, and it's more of an insult than a put down, but I have seen the use of 'shitgibbon' on this site which amuses me greatly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Is swearing in public actually a crime? And if so, which words? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 How did Daly do? Take some comfort I'm the fact All Dogs Go To Heaven. Except yours of course, cause he was a wee shite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Chlamydia Kid Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 I know it's a football website and that so it dictates that there'll be a lot of "football shouts", but the vast majority of "patter at the fitba" is fucking horrendous. Agreed, usually pre-rehearsed, insincere, blatant attention seeking attempts at being funny delivered by the kind of fat rides you would see dressed up like a full kit w****r in the Soccer AM crowd on a Saturday morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 At a Rangers v Falkirk game at Ibrox a few years back. Before the game Andy Cameron came on the pitch and was telling a few jokes and giving it all "let's get behind the boys and hopefully we can get 3 points off Falkirk today". Needless to say our corner of the stadium wasn't happy. One guy stood up and shouted "You're about as funny as Lenny Henry!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotfree Posted August 26, 2015 Share Posted August 26, 2015 Best put down that I've ever seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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