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The Terrible Journalism & Tom English Thread


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4 hours ago, VictorOnopko said:

Tom English's prose style really is garbled:

"The reality of life in the Champions League has been hard on Rangers, existing as they are in the group of certain death for a club of their lightweight financial muscle. Underdogs can occasionally roar, though. The problem is that the big dogs roar louder, more often than not."

Dogs don't roar, though.  They bark or howl.  Big cats roar.  Maybe head back to primary school and learn about the animal kingdom, Tom?

 

 

They'll be shaking like a shiting dog before the next game.

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  • 2 weeks later...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/63289885

I've reloaded this article a couple of times but despite opening with "A glance at the European tables containing Celtic, Rangers and Hearts makes for grim reading" it seems to have included the Old Firm's group tables, but not bothered to show Hearts's. 

If I had been writing it, I would also have mentioned that Celtic need to win their game to avoid sole ownership of the record consecutive home CL defeats, and that Rangers are another -2 GD away from securing the record of worst Champions League compaign by any club ever.

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35 minutes ago, VictorOnopko said:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/63289885

I've reloaded this article a couple of times but despite opening with "A glance at the European tables containing Celtic, Rangers and Hearts makes for grim reading" it seems to have included the Old Firm's group tables, but not bothered to show Hearts's. 

If I had been writing it, I would also have mentioned that Celtic need to win their game to avoid sole ownership of the record consecutive home CL defeats, and that Rangers are another -2 GD away from securing the record of worst Champions League compaign by any club ever.

The pearl-clutching about Hearts' performance is bewlidering. So far, we're sitting 3rd performing exactly as expected.

We beat the Latvians and got pumped by the other two teams. This is exactly what everyone expected to happen, even without considering injuries etc. Add in that we've been negotiating this group without a functioning defence, and I'm not sure what anyone expected.

If we beat RFS again on Thursday we'll have achieved what we set out to.

Did anyone actually expect anything else or think any of our rivals would have done better?

Edited by VincentGuerin
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Aye, I'd not exactly lump Hearts in with the failings of us or Celtic. Although I'd also argue that most people would've expected both Rangers and Celtic to be at the bottom of their groups. It's probably the manner of our pumpings that have been the biggest surprise given our relatively good European performances over recent years.

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8 minutes ago, AJF said:

Aye, I'd not exactly lump Hearts in with the failings of us or Celtic. Although I'd also argue that most people would've expected both Rangers and Celtic to be at the bottom of their groups. It's probably the manner of our pumpings that have been the biggest surprise given our relatively good European performances over recent years.

Basically your just out of your depth playing in the CL now. You really have to adapt to a defensive set up and play with a low block against those teams, trying to grind out a result, same way the lesser quality diddy teams do against you in Scotland. That isn't in your make up though, but the amount of goals you have conceded it couldn't be any worse trying to play like that. 

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19 minutes ago, LIVIFOREVER said:

Basically your just out of your depth playing in the CL now. You really have to adapt to a defensive set up and play with a low block against those teams, trying to grind out a result, same way the lesser quality diddy teams do against you in Scotland. That isn't in your make up though, but the amount of goals you have conceded it couldn't be any worse trying to play like that. 

I think that's the worry though, in all of our CL games we have pretty much set up with the intention of being hard to beat. We've not been gung-ho or tried to play a particularly attacking style so the number of goals we've conceded is very poor.

Away to Ajax we were so deep but they scored early and the plan completely unravelled. They ran us off the park.

Napoli at home was a considerable improvement and we were well in the game until the penalty and red card. Again though, we initially set ourselves up to be hard to break down.

Liverpool away was just about what you'd expect. Not a pumping but never really looked like troubling them.

Then Liverpool at home again we were in the game come half time after taking the lead. Then I don't know what happened. We couldn't track runners, we couldn't tackle (we never even received a single booking) and completely gave up.

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It's popular opinion to say Napoli have been the most in-form team in Europe for these last couple of months. Then Liverpool have been finalists in 3 of the last 5 editions. Being outclassed by both wasn't so surprising. Also, losing 7-1 at home to Liverpool is put into less harsh perspective when we consider Ajax lost 6-1 at home to Napoli.

The shit result for Rangers was the 4-0 loss away to Ajax. Especially having knocked out PSV in the qualifiers, that was a surprising capitulation from them.

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10 hours ago, FreedomFarter said:

It's popular opinion to say Napoli have been the most in-form team in Europe for these last couple of months. Then Liverpool have been finalists in 3 of the last 5 editions. Being outclassed by both wasn't so surprising. Also, losing 7-1 at home to Liverpool is put into less harsh perspective when we consider Ajax lost 6-1 at home to Napoli.

The shit result for Rangers was the 4-0 loss away to Ajax. Especially having knocked out PSV in the qualifiers, that was a surprising capitulation from them.

Editions?

Is that what we've come to?

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From today's BBC Sport Gossip page 

Rangers manager Giovanni van Bronckhorst once met his idol Diego Maradona at the 1998 World Cup and now his team will take on Napoli at the stadium that bares the Argentine's name, with the Dutchman saying Maradona's contribution to football was "immense". (Sun)

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On 25/10/2022 at 15:03, AJF said:

I think that's the worry though, in all of our CL games we have pretty much set up with the intention of being hard to beat. We've not been gung-ho or tried to play a particularly attacking style so the number of goals we've conceded is very poor.

Away to Ajax we were so deep but they scored early and the plan completely unravelled. They ran us off the park.

Napoli at home was a considerable improvement and we were well in the game until the penalty and red card. Again though, we initially set ourselves up to be hard to break down.

Liverpool away was just about what you'd expect. Not a pumping but never really looked like troubling them.

Then Liverpool at home again we were in the game come half time after taking the lead. Then I don't know what happened. We couldn't track runners, we couldn't tackle (we never even received a single booking) and completely gave up.

It's all about the quality of the players.  Money is obviously a huge factor in attracting and coaching them, but the fact is that Rangers have assembled a mediocre squad incapable of competing at this rarefied level.

Throw in a semi-permanent list of injuries, a temperamental and underperforming star striker and a Manager who is drowning not waving both in Europe and domestically, and you have a perfect storm.

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The pearl-clutching about Hearts' performance is bewlidering. So far, we're sitting 3rd performing exactly as expected.
We beat the Latvians and got pumped by the other two teams. This is exactly what everyone expected to happen, even without considering injuries etc. Add in that we've been negotiating this group without a functioning defence, and I'm not sure what anyone expected.
If we beat RFS again on Thursday we'll have achieved what we set out to.
Did anyone actually expect anything else or think any of our rivals would have done better?

Sorry, Hearts set out to not qualify??
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2 hours ago, Airdrie76 said:


Sorry, Hearts set out to not qualify??

That's like Hearts finishing 3rd in the Premiership and saying we've achieved our goal. Would you then say 'WHAT!!?? YOU DIDN'T SET OUT TO FINISH FIRST??'

Of course they're trying to win. But if we beat the Latvians twice, we'll have done what was expected, got some coefficient points, and boosted our finances a bit.

I don't think it's a given that we'll win tomorrow night, but if we do, then that's fair enough.

Edited by VincentGuerin
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1 hour ago, VincentGuerin said:

That's like Hearts finishing 3rd in the Premiership and saying we've achieved our goal. Would you then say 'WHAT!!?? YOU DIDN'T SET OUT TO FINISH FIRST??'

Of course they're trying to win. But if we beat the Latvians twice, we'll have done what was expected, got some coefficient points, and boosted our finances a bit.

I don't think it's a given that we'll win tomorrow night, but if we do, then that's fair enough.

Aye, as shite as it sounds, that would be a “par score”.

 

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23 hours ago, hearthammer said:

From today's BBC Sport Gossip page 

Rangers manager Giovanni van Bronckhorst once met his idol Diego Maradona at the 1998 World Cup and now his team will take on Napoli at the stadium that bares the Argentine's name, with the Dutchman saying Maradona's contribution to football was "immense". (Sun)

Someone literally gets paid to type that on a website.  The mind boggles.

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'Rangers manager Giovanni Van Bronckhorst was spotted in Asda with his wife.  Asda has stores all over the UK and Cristiano Ronaldo was once spotted in one in Manchester in 2008 whilst at Manchester United'.

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14 minutes ago, TheScarf said:

'Rangers manager Giovanni Van Bronckhorst was spotted in Asda with his wife.  Asda has stores all over the UK and Cristiano Ronaldo was once spotted in one in Manchester in 2008 whilst at Manchester United'.

More likely "Rangers manager Giovanni Van Bronckhorst was spotted in Asda with his wife. Rangers fans want him to be sine die from Ibrox due to the supermarket chain's colour scheme."

A Club 72 spokesman said "he should be shopping at Sainsburys or the Co-op."

Edited by Arch Stanton
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