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The Terrible Journalism & Tom English Thread


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4 hours ago, Aim Here said:

 callous and classless attempts of the moronic visiting fans
 

A fair description

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Charles Bannerman is an absolute w****r. He regularly gets into arguments with folk an Facebook who slag off the Courier (utter shite paper) or who question his views. He’s a c**t. 

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Pasting the text so as not to give it any more clicks. Hugh Keevins in the Daily Record:

Quote

Since last Sunday, Celtic have scored eleven goals in two league games and a Scottish Cup tie. And, incredibly, have had ten different goalscorers in the process.

It adds up to the definition of a team who marry entertainment to endeavour in a way unsurpassed for a very long time. Whoever is responsible for the succession strategy where Ange Postecoglou is concerned at Celtic Park will need to come up with a masterclass in managerial recruitment when, or if , the time comes.

Nobody saw it coming when he came here and created a side of extraordinary quality. Nobody, apart from Rangers fans, can bear to think about what it will look like when he’s gone. But that’s for another day. It’s what happens in the next twenty-four hours that concerns me. Far be it from me to advocate any form of deception when the Scottish Cup, semi-final draw is made tomorrow night, particularly when Monday happens to mark the 150th anniversary of the SFA, the tournament’s administrators. 

But it would be undeniably true that if it so happened the Old Firm avoided each other in the last four a problem would be overcome. Celtic are in the hat. Rangers will also be there after they beat Raith Rovers at Ibrox this afternoon. Nobody should take offence at that prediction.

Michael Beale’s job as manager would be under threat if he lost, which is why there’ll be no fairytales written. Inverness Caley Thistle will represent the Championship and the final team in the draw will either come from that division or the one beneath.

In other words, we will either have a showpiece worthy of the occasion at Hampden on June 3, or else a one-sided, run of the mill wash-out that would, in terms of pre-match promotion, tax the corporate imagination of the newly constituted organisation called Scottish Football Marketing.

It is the brainchild of the SFA and the SPFL and the mission statement is concerns capitalising on Scottish football inclination towards what we shall call the game’s fascination with the eccentric side of life.

“It’s mad,” SPFL Chief Executive Neil Doncaster said at Thursday’s press announcement, without anyone having to put inflammatory words in his mouth. Hearts’ manager, Robbie Nielson, has, to be fair, periodically done his bit to immerse himself in the box office madness of it all.

Any man who can introduce the word ‘Decapitation’ into the game’s vocabulary deserves an honourable mention in dispatches. Even if his supplementary remark at Celtic Park on Wednesday night about Alexandro Bernabei’s challenge on Nathaniel Atkinson being bad enough to have cost the Hearts player the removal of his leg was an amputation too far.

If Robbie was ever to have a quiet word with himself it would end up in a fight. He was noticeably less moved to fire off any more cutting barbs yesterday after being knocked out of the cup by Postecoglou’s side at Tynecastle.

The master of deflection was left without an excuse to stand on, other than to talk about the loss of an early goal to Celtic being a crucial development in the tie.
 

Celtic, of course, lost an early goal to Hearts at home in the league on Wednesday night but still found a way to win in the end. Robbie’s last resort was to praise the home fans for the backing they gave their team.

Up until, that is, the arrival of Celtic’s third goal and the departure of the crowd to wonder why a manager who had started the day talking about breaking through the glass ceiling and beating members of the Old Firm didn’t play more attack-minded players to give defenestration a better chance of happening.

Hearts' Scottish Cup final appearance against Rangers last season was so underwhelming they could have presented the trophy to James Tavernier to begin with and then played the match as a book-keeping formality after that.

But now we’re contemplating the possibility of Celtic or Rangers playing lower league opposition in what would be the equivalent of a public flogging. The cynics used to say cup draws were made with hot balls and cold balls being secreted in a bag so that favourable pairings could be made for the betterment of the competition.

All a load of nonsense, of course. But if fate just happened to keep Celtic and Rangers apart until the cup final it would be no bad thing in the interests of having of a spectacle worthy of the name.

What a fucking c**t.

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4 hours ago, eez-eh said:

Pasting the text so as not to give it any more clicks. Hugh Keevins in the Daily Record:

What a fucking c**t.

Keevins' output is like the shite your granda would spout about fitba when you took him down the pub for a couple of pints on a Sunday afternoon, only he's given a mainstream platform to do it. Utterly dated and predictable nonsense he's churned out for years.

I'm guessing it's just that no one has the heart to put the doddery auld c**t out to pasture.

Edited by 'WellDel
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One of the main reasons other teams cant progress to regularly challenge the bigot brothers is because c***s like Keevins have spent a career expanding the narrative theres only two clubs that really matter.

No wonder shysters like Sky show open disdain for all the other clubs when our own journalists pedal this pish.

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Keevins was one of those (along with the likes of McNee) who used to come onto our screens and EXPLAIN to  us in portentous tones in the 80’s, when the League had never been healthier, how ‘Thcawttish Fffootball NEEDS a thtrong Rangurth and Thewtic’

A c**t. Burn him…

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42 minutes ago, 'WellDel said:

Keevins' output is like the shite your granda would spout about fitba when you took him down the pub for a couple of pints on a Sunday afternoon, only he's given a mainstream platform to do it. Utterly dated and predictable nonsense he's churned out for years.

I'm guessing it's just that no one has the heart to put the doddery auld c**t out to pasture.

He’s an absolute dinosaur who is best ignored. I try my best to avoid reading the opinions of guys like him and the rest of his superscore board chums, but that article popped up on my Twitter feed earlier on. There’s no doubt that Rangers and Celtic will be favourites to make the final if they avoid each other in the semi-final, but no matter what two team make the final it will most certainly still have a title ‘worthy of the name’. If anything an Old Firm final devalues it, it highlights how far ahead they are of every other team and makes the competition look like somewhat of a procession that’s came to its natural conclusion with the two largest and biggest spending teams predictably meeting in the final. 
 

The fawning over Postecoglu in that article also misses out one extremely important point; that he is working with a budget many, many multiples of every other team in the league besides Rangers. Yes he’s done a good job I cant deny that, he has his team playing good football and he seems like a very good manager. But let’s not pretend that a team like Celtic and a team like St Mirren are competing on anything like the same playing field. £7M on both Carter-Vickers and Jota, £5M on Bernabei, £3M on each of Johnston and Haksabanovic. Those transfer fees alone would come close to paying the wages of every non-OF team in the league for a full season. They spend about another £20M a year on wages which is about 6 times as much as the team with the 3rd highest budget. They were made to look very ordinary in the Champions League which doesn’t get much of a mention these days, but it doesn’t stop pundits like Keevins spunking their pants after they put 4 or 5 past teams like St Mirren, Aberdeen and St Johnstone. 

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3 minutes ago, IrishBhoy said:

He’s an absolute dinosaur who is best ignored. I try my best to avoid reading the opinions of guys like him and the rest of his superscore board chums, but that article popped up on my Twitter feed earlier on. There’s no doubt that Rangers and Celtic will be favourites to make the final if they avoid each other in the semi-final, but no matter what two team make the final it will most certainly still have a title ‘worthy of the name’. If anything an Old Firm final devalues it, it highlights how far ahead they are of every other team and makes the competition look like somewhat of a procession that’s came to its natural conclusion with the two largest and biggest spending teams predictably meeting in the final. 
 

The fawning over Postecoglu in that article also misses out one extremely important point; that he is working with a budget many, many multiples of every other team in the league besides Rangers. Yes he’s done a good job I cant deny that, he has his team playing good football and he seems like a very good manager. But let’s not pretend that a team like Celtic and a team like St Mirren are competing on anything like the same playing field. £7M on both Carter-Vickers and Jota, £5M on Bernabei, £3M on each of Johnston and Haksabanovic. Those transfer fees alone would come close to paying the wages of every non-OF team in the league for a full season. They spend about another £20M a year on wages which is about 6 times as much as the team with the 3rd highest budget. They were made to look very ordinary in the Champions League which doesn’t get much of a mention these days, but it doesn’t stop pundits like Keevins spunking their pants after they put 4 or 5 past teams like St Mirren, Aberdeen and St Johnstone. 

They have a goalkeeper they paid £5m for, who is out on loan because they don't think he's good enough.

For some reason, that really upsets me this season...

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2 hours ago, Mark Connolly said:

They have a goalkeeper they paid £5m for, who is out on loan because they don't think he's good enough.

For some reason, that really upsets me this season...

To be fair I think you’re better off with Birighitti after seeing some of Barkas’ displays. 
 

Neil Lennon and his scouting team really dropped the ball on that transfer. £5M quid for a goalkeeper that was so bad he got replaced by Scott Bain :lol: 

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1 minute ago, IrishBhoy said:

To be fair I think you’re better off with Birighitti after seeing some of Barkas’ displays. 
 

Neil Lennon and his scouting team really dropped the ball on that transfer. £5M quid for a goalkeeper that was so bad he got replaced by Scott Bain :lol: 

And they didn't retain Craig Gordon ffs

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Keevins reeks as being one of these rancid old farts who thinks Rangers and Celtic are “global brands“ and if you go to Outer Uzbekistan the locals will be able to tell you how many assists Cantwell has.

Fire him into the sea.

The OF are glaringly mediocre and can’t compete at a decent level. No one apart from a few thousand bigoted Scots cares who wins their final.

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"After Partick, Rough played for Hibs and Orlando Lions in the US before returning to play seven games as cover for Pat Bonner at Celtic."

Alan Rough: I never asked for more money - BBC News

So a decent enough career at Hibs is mentioned in the same breath as 7 games for one of the Cheeks and his similar number of games for Hamilton Accies is missed out altogether.. 

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