Gaz Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 This might take off, it might not. Similar to the 'out of the mouths' thread but this time it's what stuff your other half actually does. My wife casually mentioned to me the other day that we should clear out the shoe cupboard and move the shelves up higher so that there's room underneath for the hoover, brushes, mop etc., a pretty decent idea I'm sure you'll all agree. I come home from work today to find that she's started to clear it out by tipping the entire contents of a bag of letters / documents etc. over my chair 'to be sorted through'. She's then realised that, hang on, we actually have two kids and she doesn't have time to sort through it. So my chair's covered in letters and documents that need sorting. This has all been done two days before I finish up work for SEVEN FUCKING WEEKS and will have tons of time to do this kind of shit! What daft things do your other halfs (halves?) get up to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin_3110 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Makes a shit job of some menial household task and then feels entitled to moan for the next three weeks about how she "does everything around here!" I hate women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 This might take off, it might not. Similar to the 'out of the mouths' thread but this time it's what stuff your other half actually does. My wife casually mentioned to me the other day that we should clear out the shoe cupboard and move the shelves up higher so that there's room underneath for the hoover, brushes, mop etc., a pretty decent idea I'm sure you'll all agree. I come home from work today to find that she's started to clear it out by tipping the entire contents of a bag of letters / documents etc. over my chair 'to be sorted through'. She's then realised that, hang on, we actually have two kids and she doesn't have time to sort through it. So my chair's covered in letters and documents that need sorting. This has all been done two days before I finish up work for SEVEN FUCKING WEEKS and will have tons of time to do this kind of shit! What daft things do your other halfs (halves?) get up to? Time to chuck everything back in a bag and in the shoe cupboard, get a can out of the fridge and sit down in the chair: 45 seconds. I know that's not the fucking point! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Torn between two threads, but a moany text from the burd genuinely complaining about how she has so many things to do. I asked her what, and this is what she replied... Book a Megabus ticket Put the washing machine on Take meter readings As AP said, "And they say nurses have it tough". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Emptying things out of the cupboard under the stairs, then announcing that we BOTH need to clean it out. Usually ends up in an argument. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Makes a shit job of some menial household task and then feels entitled to moan for the next three weeks about how she "does everything around here!" I hate women. This is a favourite in our flat. My missus goes on as if we live in a 10 bedroom mansion when it comes to housework. She constantly moans I do nothing and she'd love to see how the house would look after a week if she didn't do anything. A few weeks ago I was going for a drink at my brother-in-law's. I asked him to nip me back to mine so I could change (had been helping him paint). We went in and I said excuse the mess as I never tidied it before I went to his (and she was working). No word of a lie, in the space of 10 minutes I had changed my clothes, tidied up the house, hoovered and cleaned the dishes. All of those tasks (excluding changing my clothes ) somehow take my missus 3/4 hours to do and send her into a fit of rage afterwards. I really don't how why they act like martyrs when it comes to housework. I should say, in her defence, that she has quite bad OCD, to the point where she has to go around every plug at night counting to a certain number before she's happy that everything is ok She's fucking mental. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milton75 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Sucks my cock. I wouldn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el buitre Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 "Doing the washing" Ye mean pressing a button, hardly dragging it down to the river and rubbing it on the rocks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Torn between two threads, but a moany text from the burd genuinely complaining about how she has so many things to do. I asked her what, and this is what she replied... Book a Megabus ticket Put the washing machine on Take meter readings As AP said, "And they say nurses have it tough". Grounds for dismissal IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 They dont make em like they used to. Child bearing (not rearing) is about all they are good for these days. Regularly get a grilled pizza. Incinerated on top and raw underneath. Goes down without even asking though so what to do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bhoy who invented weetabix Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Continually fall pregnant even though I had a vasectomy in 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I'd be having a stern word with the postie. Aye. Tell him to keep an eye out for strange men pumping his Mrs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eednud Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 Keeps breathing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_bully_wee Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Fails to exist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gav-ffc Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 The other day on my day off I managed to do 2 washes, Hoover the house, mop the kitchen and bathroom and also clean the bath in under a hour. When I'm away working 14 hours today I can guarantee the Mrs doesn't even manage to pick up the sock on her side of the bed that's been there since last night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pars fan Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Resentment towards your other half thread for this pish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madwullie Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Spends hours on end cleaning the skirting boards then gets raging if I fail to comment on how clean the skirting boards are. The skirting boards ffs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamdunk Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 She calls James Bond zero zero seven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 The other day on my day off I managed to do 2 washes, Hoover the house, mop the kitchen and bathroom and also clean the bath in under a hour. When I'm away working 14 hours today I can guarantee the Mrs doesn't even manage to pick up the sock on her side of the bed that's been there since last night. This used to infuriate me when I was at work, and came home to a house messier than I left it, even though the kids had been at school and nursery and she had been home alone. I do have a bit of OCD to be fair when it comes to cleaning, but having to come home to that after a shitty day at work and a worse commute with my screaming three year old who loves nothing more than crying, well it wasn't ideal.My wife cannot take any criticism whatsoever. That does my head in, as when I start to have a go at something I'm really unhappy with (which I've usually let fester in my head for ages as I can't be arsed with the eventual argument which will come out as a result), she can't just put her hands up and say sorry, even though she knows she's in the wrong, she has to then proceed to tell me how much of a c**t I am etc... Which I heartily agree with, tbf. She does fucking hundreds of things that wind me up. Oh, and spends literally hundreds of pounds following a has-been band around the UK, away for days at a time, leaving me with two children who absolutely hate each other with a fucking mighty passion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Ma missus is foreign and, occasionally, I'll use a word she hasn't heard before (yesterday it was beguilling) and she'll look it up either on translate or in a dictionariy but only EVER checks the first definition. It doesn't seem like much but I've complimented her before then, ten minutes later, got a slap because she's looked up the long meaning while I was at the shops or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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