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greyman

'The Snip'

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46 minutes ago, alta-pete said:

Bunch of shitebags. Only sore bit is getting the anaesthetic and it’s then a wee bit weird feeling the surgeon rummage about and tie off the loose ends but otherwise no drama at all.

Although it was 10 years ago so maybe the passage of time has dulled the memory. You poor saps!! Hehehe.

This is a topic I don't mind admitting to being a pussy.

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5 hours ago, alta-pete said:

Bunch of shitebags. Only sore bit is getting the anaesthetic and it’s then a wee bit weird feeling the surgeon rummage about and tie off the loose ends but otherwise no drama at all.

Although it was 10 years ago so maybe the passage of time has dulled the memory. You poor saps!! Hehehe.

Its also weird making polite small talk with both the surgeon and the nurse during the procedure, whilst your meat'n'2 veg lie exposed through a hole in a clinical sheet.

I want the clinician with the scalpel in and around my tadger to concentrate on his job, not have witty banter with me and the nurse .

Why they bother to protect the modesty of your stomach and thighs I have no clue.

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Its also weird making polite small talk with both the surgeon and the nurse during the procedure, whilst your meat'n'2 veg lie exposed through a hole in a clinical sheet.
I want the clinician with the scalpel in and around my tadger to concentrate on his job, not have witty banter with me and the nurse .
Why they bother to protect the modesty of your stomach and thighs I have no clue.
Yeah, in fairness one of the nurses is there purely for that. To keep you calm.

Anyway just to mitigate some of the above for the scared.... If I couldnt remember the day I got it, I genuinely wouldnt know anything was different. Not one single discernible difference from my days as a fertile young stud....

Now that I have shared, I am off to watch Bridget Jones and cry into a tub of chocolate ice cream

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I had my procedure just last night, taken in at about 6.55 and I was back in the house by 7.35.

I'll be honest, I was up to near panic levels waiting to go in. But it really is all over nothing, the local anaesthetics sting a wee bit aye and then the rest of the procedure with a dull ache in your tummy, like you've had a sore one in the balls but it's calmed down a little.

Lying in bed in my tighty whiteys for the next couple of days.

It really is nothing at all.

EDIT: was told to overlap paracetamol and ibuprofen afterwards as it will hurt, but I've had a completely pain free night. So even that's fine.

 

Edited by ShaggysBeard

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Just be prepared to have two large, overripe and ultra sensitive avocados instead of testicles for the next couple of weeks.

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14 minutes ago, Ranaldo Bairn said:

Just be prepared to have two large, overripe and ultra sensitive avocados instead of testicles for the next couple of weeks.

And avoid Ranaldo Bairns house for breakfast

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49 minutes ago, Ranaldo Bairn said:

Just be prepared to have two large, overripe and ultra sensitive avocados instead of testicles for the next couple of weeks.

Aye, but then a lifetime of leaving it in.

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You need never consider haymarket for the rest of your shagging days.

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So, considering I canna take almost any painkiller beyond paracetamol and I’m allergic to most anesthetics it’s damn unlikely I’m getting this done.












Bloody unlikely I’d need to anyway

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Nothing to it. If you can't handle a wee snip you're really going to be fucked when it comes to knee replacement surgery. 

My snip didn't go very well. The local anaesthetic didn't work. When they pulled one of the tubes out to cut it I felt it and had a reflex reaction to kick out. I hit someone and heard them falling to the floor before I was knocked out completely. I guess they upped the dosage. They advised rest, but I was starting a new job the next day working on an engineering project that meant climbing loads of stairs. I thought I'd be fine as it would just be an induction day, but the induction only lasted an hour and I spent the rest of my shift on the top floor of the project some 20 stories up. 

When I took off my boiler suit there was blood everywhere. My stitches had burst and the wound was infected. it didn't feel sore, just looked dreadful. I'd recommend it to everyone - particularly Morton and Old Firm fans who should do it nice and early preferably before they have any kids. The world would be a much better place. 

 

 

 

Edited by Malky3

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20 minutes ago, Malky3 said:

Nothing to it. If you can't handle a wee snip you're really going to be fucked when it comes to knee replacement surgery. 

My snip didn't go very well. The local anaesthetic didn't work. When they pulled one of the tubes out to cut it I felt it and had a reflex reaction to kick out. I hit someone and heard them falling to the floor before I was knocked out completely. I guess they upped the dosage. They advised rest, but I was starting a new job the next day working on an engineering project that meant climbing loads of stairs. I thought I'd be fine as it would just be an induction day, but the induction only lasted an hour and I spent the rest of my shift on the top floor of the project some 20 stories up. 

When I took off my boiler suit there was blood everywhere. My stitches had burst and the wound was infected. it didn't feel sore, just looked dreadful. I'd recommend it to everyone - particularly Morton and Old Firm fans who should do it nice and early preferably before they have any kids. The world would be a much better place. 

 

 

 

Raking about a football forum at 03:00 posting absolute made up shite eh.... 

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5 hours ago, Malky3 said:

Nothing to it. If you can't handle a wee snip you're really going to be fucked when it comes to knee replacement surgery. 

My snip didn't go very well. The local anaesthetic didn't work. When they pulled one of the tubes out to cut it I felt it and had a reflex reaction to kick out. I hit someone and heard them falling to the floor before I was knocked out completely. I guess they upped the dosage. They advised rest, but I was starting a new job the next day working on an engineering project that meant climbing loads of stairs. I thought I'd be fine as it would just be an induction day, but the induction only lasted an hour and I spent the rest of my shift on the top floor of the project some 20 stories up. 

When I took off my boiler suit there was blood everywhere. My stitches had burst and the wound was infected. it didn't feel sore, just looked dreadful. I'd recommend it to everyone - particularly Morton and Old Firm fans who should do it nice and early preferably before they have any kids. The world would be a much better place. 

 

 

 

Nothing to it, then an utter horror story (probably a fantasy). Aye, nae bother mate.

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5 hours ago, Malky3 said:

Nothing to it. If you can't handle a wee snip you're really going to be fucked when it comes to knee replacement surgery. 

My snip didn't go very well. The local anaesthetic didn't work. When they pulled one of the tubes out to cut it I felt it and had a reflex reaction to kick out. I hit someone and heard them falling to the floor before I was knocked out completely. I guess they upped the dosage. They advised rest, but I was starting a new job the next day working on an engineering project that meant climbing loads of stairs. I thought I'd be fine as it would just be an induction day, but the induction only lasted an hour and I spent the rest of my shift on the top floor of the project some 20 stories up. 

When I took off my boiler suit there was blood everywhere. My stitches had burst and the wound was infected. it didn't feel sore, just looked dreadful. I'd recommend it to everyone - particularly Morton and Old Firm fans who should do it nice and early preferably before they have any kids. The world would be a much better place. 

 

 

 

Ok, they gave you a local anaesthetic into the testicles which didnt work, you then were immediately put too sleep.

That's fantastic, imagine them having a consultant anaesthetist on hand just floating about your bed to knock you out on the off chance.

That must have been the quickest bit of work in the history of modern medicine.

How the f**k have I not read about this in my copies of the Lancet.

Utter fantasist.

 

 

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14 hours ago, Rugster said:

Nothing to it, then an utter horror story (probably a fantasy). Aye, nae bother mate.

Aye right. During my nights I love to fantasise about getting the snip. What is it with Falkirk fans? Fucking weirdos. 

If you think that is a horror story, you should try a knee replacement op. Nothing worse than lying there wide awake while the saw through your leg and the pain when the drugs wear off is far more excruciating. 

 

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14 hours ago, Tynierose said:

Ok, they gave you a local anaesthetic into the testicles which didnt work, you then were immediately put too sleep.

That's fantastic, imagine them having a consultant anaesthetist on hand just floating about your bed to knock you out on the off chance.

That must have been the quickest bit of work in the history of modern medicine.

How the f**k have I not read about this in my copies of the Lancet.

Utter fantasist.

 

 

Nope, the anaesthetic was in an IV drip. This operation was nearly 30 years ago. 

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1 minute ago, Malky3 said:

Nope, the anaesthetic was in an IV drip. This operation was nearly 30 years ago. 

Shite.

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Just now, Tynierose said:

Shite.

Were you there? 

I venture you weren't. Probably not even born back then. 

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7 hours ago, Malky3 said:

Were you there? 

I venture you weren't. Probably not even born back then. 

I was there as much as you were, you slavering shitgibbon.

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