WhyCantIChooseWigtown Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 as said prevouisly i am wearing sperm And he lies again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulbearer Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 as said prevouisly i am wearing sperm Hmmmm. Interesting. A full body suit made of reproductive mucus? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulbearer Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 And he lies again... It's non stop!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binos123sam Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 And he lies again... well i have sperm around the d just now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulbearer Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 well i have sperm around the d just nowHave you been learning about sperm at school this week or something? You're sperm daft ya mad c**tEggy Bino Liar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binos123sam Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Have you been learning about sperm at school this week or something? You're sperm daft ya mad c**t Eggy Bino Liar not learned about sperm since s2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lou Brusch Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 not learned about sperm since s2Did they tell you not to have a w**k in the shower or it'll change consistency and stick to your skin mercilessly? I learned the hard way, pun slightly intended Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulbearer Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 not learned about sperm since s2You only get a bucket and a half by the way so don't go chucking yourself about your room every night!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binos123sam Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 You only get a bucket and a half by the way so don't go chucking yourself about your room every night!! cheers mate good advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulbearer Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 well remeber david beat golitath william David is such a p***k!! Goliath is the man!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulbearer Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 What a load of shite!! Do you not know that is a huge urban myth? Goliath absolutely pounded the wee dick! What actually happened was Davie had been to a couple of karate classes, started hanging about with hard c***s from the village and all of a sudden thought he was hard as f**k.He decided he wanted to fight the hardest guy in the world at the time (Goliath). Goliath was a gentle giant and only agreed to the fight because he thought he'd look good in front of the local village fud. Anyway, the fight was arranged for half time at the St Cuthberts v Abbey Vale match and hyped up beyond belief in the local press. The St Marys crowd gathered and patiently waited for the fighters to make their way to the ring that had been hastily constructed by the Saints committee. Goliath was first to enter the ring with his right hand man Andy Brolls. Goliath looked nervous and a little awkward in front of the booing crowd. Andy tried his best to calm him down by rubbing his shoulders and singing the skye boat song. After about another minute David entered the ring to rapturous applause from the crowd and finally the fight could begin. Or could it??? Where was the ref??...................................Oh no......it couldn't be, could it????..........There was a special guest referee and his theme music was blaring from the P.A System...... "CLUB TROPICANA DRINKS ARE FREEEEEE, FUN AND SUNSHINE-THERE'S ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE" It was the mouth of the south, the dirtiest player in the game, It was John "The Wrangler" Mcnaught!!! All the crowd booed the entrance of the pantomime villain and he loved every moment of it. Even though the crowd were jeering him they couldn't help but admire his immaculate ring attire of Wranglers and Sambas(he was topless). Goliaths face dropped. He knew he was in for a tough match now!! Goliath had fallen out with Mcnaught years ago when he had left Newton, stole his club tracksuit, his club training kit and rather bizarrely an instruction manual called"How to fit a 3g pitch properly to allow water to drain off it" Mcnaught has been on his case ever since........ The match began with Goliath in top form. As much as the wrangler tried to intervene Goliath was simply too strong. This was going to be a walkover by the look of it. Poor David was being suplexed and double axe handled within an inch of his life!!! Everything was going to plan for him and the 3 count was imminent!.......Goliath toyed with David for a bit then went for his DDT finisher..BOOOOOOM!!!!! He hooked the leg and went for the three count. 1............2................................................................................................. ...............David managed to kick out after what was the slowest count ever. Mcnaughts deliberately slow count had infuriated Goliath and he was now up in the wranglers face protesting. After about a minute of this protesting the wrangler pulls out a yellow card and books Goliath for dissent! !! Booked at wrestling? ?? Mcnaught had lost the plot......He orders the big man back to his corner before he is sent off! As the wrangler helps David back to his feet Goliath trudges back to his corner to see his manager for some words of encouragement. Goliath asks Andy for a strapping for his elbow but Andy reaches into the first aid kit and pulls out a bottle of joop instead of a strapping. What was going on????? Andy looks Goliath directly in the eye and mouths the words "sorry pal" as he sprays it directly into the big mans eyes. Goliath falls back in agony as David gets behind him and hooks the trunks....1......2.......... Is this the end for Goliath? ? Why did Andy Brolls turn?? Will someone come to the rescue? ?? To be continued......... P.S Hiya John ......... Just as mcnaught is about to hit the canvas a third time Goliath kicks out and saves the three count from happening.As he lies on the canvas he turns to Andy brolls,looks him straight in the eye,holds his gaze and softly says " Andy, why did you do it??? We were pals, I had even booked for us to go to Alton towers for your birthday next month"!! Andy lowers himself down on to the canvas so he's lying next to him and whispers gently in his ear....."Alton Towers is fuckin shite, it's for wee poofy b*****ds who like waiting in queues all day and paying 6 quid for a beer" He then lets out a massive cry of "John Mcnaughts Barmy Army, John Mcnaughts Barmy Army" Nooooooo!! Mcnaught had gotten to him. He had obviously bought the services of Andy with the money he made letting out Blairmount to every team in the league! For some odd reason as he lay on the canvas he started to think of his old pal Hibeejibee and how he believed women had one big massive tit right up til he was 28. It raised his spirits slightly, but not much. Goliath was up against it now. He was going to need all his powers to overcome this challenge. The Wrangler turned a blind eye as Andy headbutted Goliath and David struck him repeatedly on the thigh with a mitre mouldmaster. David was a certainty to win this now. Goliaths face was fucked, half of his sack was hanging out his trunks and Mcnaught had also turned a blind eye to David biting off the tip of his boaby. It was a total bloodbath. Goliath is actually losing so much blood now that the fans are actually fearing he may die. They have started to feel sorry for him.They are willing him to fight back. He's staggering about the ring dazed, confused and repeatedly saying "I didn't take your fuckin manual, it was dodgy builders, it's built at the bottom of a hill, 3g is for poofs, games off, heavy snow expected, problems with drainage"!!! Poor Goliath was in a bad way now. What on earth was he on about? All of a sudden Goalith falls silent, looks up into the Kirkcudbright sky, clutches his chest and falls face first to the canvas. This was it. David was about to defeat Goliath. The Wrangler jumped down and hit the canvas once, twice, three times a lassie!!! David jumped about extaticly, Andy Brolls sprayed red kola on the fans and the Wrangler repeatedly done the "Get it up ye" gesture to the starfished Goliath. David had done it!!!! Little did the filthy trio know that the victory was to be short lived................................... ...........A booming voice comes over the tannoy. It was the voice of someone who knew facts about sport, someone who knew rules, someone who lost his virginity at 28, someone who once believed woman have one big thick tit, it was the beast from the east Hibeejibee!!!! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION THAT TODAYS REFEREE JOHN MCNAUGHT IS NOT PERMITTED TO BE INVOLVED IN ANY WRESTLING BOUT FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER TWENTY YEARS. IN 2005 HE WAS BARRED FROM ALL FORMS OF WRESTLING FOR 30 YEARS AFTER BEING FOUND GUILTY OF MAKING A 14 YEAR OLD BOY WRESTLE A PELICAN IN A NEWTON STEWART BAR. THEREFORE, THE MATCH MUST RESTART AGAIN WITH MR MCNAUGHT NO LONGER THE REFEREE". This was music to Goliaths ears!! He would now be given a fair bite at the whip. Mcnaught was furious as he was shepherded out the ring by the saints substitute Terry Jardine. Once at pitchside He signed a few autographs, posed for a few pictures,phoned a fans mum to wish her happy birthday then made his way over to one of the floodlights. A very strange place to watch the match from?! Hmmmmmm, what was the Evil Wrangler up to?? As all this was going on with the wrangler Hibeejibee was explaining to the crowd that a new referee was getting changed and would be making his way to the ring momentarily.............. Goliath sat on the top rope and waited patiently. He was praying for a better ref this time. A good guy, a fair man, someone who wasn't a total p***k, someone who believes he didn't nab the 3g instruction manual from Blairmount.... A deathly hush fell over St Marys as everyone looked at the changing rooms and waited on the new refs theme music to kick in............................. "NANANANA IT'S THE MUTHAFUCKIN D.O DOUBLE G (SNOOP DOGGGGGGG), NANANANA YOU KNOW IM MOBBIN WITH THE D R E. YEAH YEAH YEAH....YOU KNOW WHO'S BACK UP IN THIS MUTHAFUCKKAAAAA Goliath knew instantly who it was. This was bad news, very bad news ...... To be continued So many unanswered questions!! Why is the wrangler hanging about that floodlight? Will there be a love interest for someone? Who's the new ref?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
locharinn Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Unbelievably boring posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulbearer Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Unbelievably boring posts.True Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YesPlease123 Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 True The wrangler is going to be the phantom shitter !!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulbearer Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 The wrangler is going to be the phantom shitter !!!!! Possibility! ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binos123sam Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 Unbelievably boring posts.not as boring as your face Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paulbearer Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 not as boring as your faceHe does have a very generic face. It's like a pink balloonP.S Sperm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
compton1 returns Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Unbelievably boring posts. how can u say this? U obviously have no sence off humour! And I guarantee your still clinging onto your virginity. The man (bearer) is a genus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neily1690 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Wow is this not ment to be a football forum? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eccles Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 ???????????????????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.