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Batchelor pads


CountyFan

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It's essential to invest a few grand into one of them modular plastic hamster houses/playgrounds with the tubes and stuff. With a half decent drill you can have the thing looping around all the rooms, handy for when you need to distribute update messages by hamster from the shitter to your various harem lovelies adorning beds throughout the pad.

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A decent sized beer cooler. Some people call them fridges but that just encourages well-meaning attempts from your Maw to put food in when she visits to collect your washing, thus reducing the storage space.

A small table to sit at elbow height next to your chair. This will prove invaluable for keeping beer, crisps, pickled onions and other necessities nearby. Trust me, if your girlfriend has to keep walking to and fro to hand you these things, she'll get cranky fairly soon and nobody wins there.

The best sound system you can afford. Otherwise your neighbors will be able to play their music louder than you can yours and their tastes will be shit.

A hidden trapdoor with a chute leading directly to the moat, which in turn will be filled with alligators. Do not under any circumstances reveal the location of the hidden trapdoor or the button which activates it. Until you need to use them,obviously. Don't ask me how I know this.

A nice display case for your collection of womens' ears.

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A "film poster" wall. Obviously if you've got a horrendous taste in films, don't bother - nobody wants to see a Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen or Fast & Furious 5 poster. Have a couple of classics, a couple of cool looking posters from films you're not keen on (but they look cool), and some European arthouse cinema. The rest of the space should be nice looking posters from good films.

11"x17" is the ideal size.

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Get yourself some nice oak shelves, mate. Really can't whack a nice oak shelf for books and CDs and things. Get yourself a nice set of drawers for keeping your t-shirts and socks in too. Maybe a beanbag, I've got one of them (leopard skin).

If you keep t-shirts and socks in your drawers, where do you keep your drawers?

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Good luck getting attractive women of any worth back to your midden....

Just because a gleaming shiny place impresses the chaps you bring back to your pied a terre does not mean that women, other than Guardianistas are impressed by this.

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A "film poster" wall. Obviously if you've got a horrendous taste in films, don't bother - nobody wants to see a Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen or Fast & Furious 5 poster. Have a couple of classics, a couple of cool looking posters from films you're not keen on (but they look cool), and some European arthouse cinema. The rest of the space should be nice looking posters from good films.

11"x17" is the ideal size.

Good shout, I would have "L'annee dernier a Marienbad" and "Shichinin no Samurai". Gives that intellectual look for the ladies.

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A "film poster" wall. Obviously if you've got a horrendous taste in films, don't bother - nobody wants to see a Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen or Fast & Furious 5 poster. Have a couple of classics, a couple of cool looking posters from films you're not keen on (but they look cool), and some European arthouse cinema. The rest of the space should be nice looking posters from good films.

11"x17" is the ideal size.

And some inspirational posters:

post-48420-0-45467000-1415017133_thumb.p

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Marshall stack.

I'm selling my Marshall amp stack if anyone wants one. Also my drums and my keyboard. I'm sure they would all look good in a bachelor pad. Or whatever other lies I need to peddle to sell them. Just shut up and buy my stuff.

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Learn to multi quote you cretin.

Replying to two different posters in relation to two different trains of thought? :1eye

Cretin btw, nice touch, do the words swampy and spassy also appear in your lexicon of abuse?

UKIPer found.

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A stuffed bear/ tiger rug, a room dedicated to your suits, a pool table, your own bar and a telescope (if your living in a flat it's a must along with a piano, which you will never play, but have only to show how great your pad is).

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