Jump to content
Romeo

Stupid Names For Kids

Recommended Posts

When Lady McB(eth) was in the maternity the story from the nurses was of a set of parents who were talked out of calling the wean "placenta".

Probs apocraphyl.

No doubt they called her "afterbirth" not wanting to be too posh.

Plae-Caentae.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I overheard some guys talking earlier.. One said "goodnight Ivan."

What a terrible name.

Aye. Nearly as bad as Ivor. Which should never be used as a name unless your surname happens to be Biggun.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is a bit in my local paper today announcing the birth of Saffron, a little sister for Vanilla ! :1eye

Donovan!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I worked with an older guy who'd just become a dad of a wee boy they called Alan, one day at work he said to me that if they had had a wee girl then he had a really beautiful name picked out.

He then half whispered as he waved his hand across in front of himself as if imagining the name written up in lights..........Shakira.

Oh aye, lovely.

I wonder if young Alan knows how lucky he is and what a near miss he had.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Got an email at work a few months ago from out Indian IT helpdesk from a 'Das, Swastika', surely that's a case for a made up work name if ever there was.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Worst names I've heard of is Pocahontas (I shit you not) for a girl and Wrangler for a boy (again I shit you not).

An obvious reflection of his family genes :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Norman Conquest. Played 11 games in goal for Australian between 1947 and 1950 including losing 0-17 to an English FA XI.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's a journo/ presenter called Richard Quest.

Dick Quest is probably the ultimate name.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe this is more of a PTTGOYN, but there's a woman that takes her primary school kid to school on my bus every morning who constantly calls him C.J. whilst talking to him.

Or maybe his name is actually Seejay.

There's a kid called CJ in my son's class at school. Everybody calls him that, it's written on all the school stuff, etc. Was talking to their teacher one day when his mother strode past yelling "CJ!", so I asked the teacher what CJ actually stood for. I got a pained look followed by, "that's his name" :blink:

Kid's school is also full of girls whose mothers used classic car catalogues for inspiration (Porsche, Mercedes, etc).

There's a journo/ presenter called Richard Quest.

Dick Quest is probably the ultimate name.

Pretty sure this was a text adventure for the Spectrum too.

On other names, I know a bloke called Pol (not Paul) Burns, who's a lovely guy. However, to his wife's horror, he insisted that the names of any children they have come from a list he drew up many years before. I forget the whole thing, but Chemical and Carpet were on there. They're now in their forties and childless. Yes, I'm aware of how bullshit that reads, but it doesn't make it any less true.

About fifteen years ago, there was an Iranian laddie in Birmingham whose surname was Shite, spelled just like that.

On the subject of people with certain names sharing traits, has else anyone noticed that lassies called Karen tend to be absolute rides and a little bit mental? :ph34r:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Went out with a girl for years who was adamant that her kids were going to be called Alfie and Riley (can't remember if that was a boy or a girl). Fair to say I was shiteing it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know when people tell you, before relating a story, "This is true?" So immediately you are sceptical? Well this is true.

I saw the name written before I spoke it: Nevaeh. I asked the grandmother how to pronounce it, wondering if it was Polish or something. "Nivea," came the reply. Resisting references to cosmetic products I expressed my lack of familiarity with this monicker. "Look at it, stupid," I was instructed. "It's heaven backwards."

This was the name of one baby in the ward last week. There also was an aria, a Matthew, an Oleg (polish, believe after daddy) and I didn't catch the French ones name.

Guess which one already has a social worker attached

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...