Eednud Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 It was a piece of polystyrene. You need some X-Ray Spex 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 From the local police Facebook update 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 We've got an absolute beast posed menacingly on the high ceiling of our bottom flight of stairs. Not quite as big as my hand, but not a million miles off, and the body looks to be a couple of inches long. Not quite the biggest house spider I've seen, but he's up there. We've come to an agreement that he can have the downstairs, so long as I don't ever see him in the rest of the house. Well, I talked, and he seemed to listen. Trouble is, I don't think I'm brave enough to actually use the nuclear deterrent (a shoe), so I may have to come and live with one of you if the detente breaks; sorry. (you boys in the Antipodes are safe, naturally) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 We've got an absolute beast posed menacingly on the high ceiling of our bottom flight of stairs. Not quite as big as my hand, but not a million miles off, and the body looks to be a couple of inches long. Not quite the biggest house spider I've seen, but he's up there. We've come to an agreement that he can have the downstairs, so long as I don't ever see him in the rest of the house. Well, I talked, and he seemed to listen. Trouble is, I don't think I'm brave enough to actually use the nuclear deterrent (a shoe), so I may have to come and live with one of you if the detente breaks; sorry. (you boys in the Antipodes are safe, naturally) Was it touching up the little spiders? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 2 minutes ago, Bobby Skidmarks said: Was it touching up the little spiders? Shush, Bob. Mozza was bad enough, but I can't lose you both. I think it's had a wasp and a couple of bluebottles since yesterday. Starting to think he's actually a good c**t, although that's probably just what he wants me to think. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 3 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: We've got an absolute beast posed menacingly on the high ceiling of our bottom flight of stairs. Not quite as big as my hand, but not a million miles off, and the body looks to be a couple of inches long. Not quite the biggest house spider I've seen, but he's up there. We've come to an agreement that he can have the downstairs, so long as I don't ever see him in the rest of the house. Well, I talked, and he seemed to listen. Trouble is, I don't think I'm brave enough to actually use the nuclear deterrent (a shoe), so I may have to come and live with one of you if the detente breaks; sorry. (you boys in the Antipodes are safe, naturally) You know what to do, Dave. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 13 minutes ago, Dee Man said: You know what to do, Dave. He's well off with that shot. Just going to make it angry. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forever_blue Posted August 18, 2016 Author Share Posted August 18, 2016 4 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said: We've got an absolute beast posed menacingly on the high ceiling of our bottom flight of stairs. Not quite as big as my hand, but not a million miles off, and the body looks to be a couple of inches long. Not quite the biggest house spider I've seen, but he's up there. We've come to an agreement that he can have the downstairs, so long as I don't ever see him in the rest of the house. Well, I talked, and he seemed to listen. Trouble is, I don't think I'm brave enough to actually use the nuclear deterrent (a shoe), so I may have to come and live with one of you if the detente breaks; sorry. (you boys in the Antipodes are safe, naturally) You need to kill it Dave , spiders are good at these mind games . Don't be fooled , if there's one there is more , they attract each other as shagging season is upon is , what just now is one spider in the corner could lead to a spider orgy in your house and before you know it the whole family has shacked up . Do the honourable thing and may god be with you 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Get Grimbo the Pet Hunter in.Grim I want a 20% cut of your inevitable show on Bravo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyrshireTon Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 This ran out from under my couch the other night. When he realised he wasn't getting out from under the glass for now, he just turned and looked right at me. My other half wanted it released further than just chucking it out of the door, so the new bus stop at the top of the drive had to do. The stare clearly means he'll be back - if I vanish, you'll know who to blame. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 This ran out from under my couch the other night. When he realised he wasn't getting out from under the glass for now, he just turned and looked right at me. My other half wanted it released further than just chucking it out of the door, so the new bus stop at the top of the drive had to do. The stare clearly means he'll be back - if I vanish, you'll know who to blame. That's a beauty. Amazing creatures. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 1 hour ago, AyrshireTon said: This ran out from under my couch the other night. When he realised he wasn't getting out from under the glass for now, he just turned and looked right at me. My other half wanted it released further than just chucking it out of the door, so the new bus stop at the top of the drive had to do. The stare clearly means he'll be back - if I vanish, you'll know who to blame. That's the worst thing to come out of Ayrshire since Michael Moffat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 If that's a pint tumbler, we're all fucked. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetterlund Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 1 hour ago, AyrshireTon said: This ran out from under my couch the other night. When he realised he wasn't getting out from under the glass for now, he just turned and looked right at me. My other half wanted it released further than just chucking it out of the door, so the new bus stop at the top of the drive had to do. The stare clearly means he'll be back - if I vanish, you'll know who to blame. Which bus did you put him on? Just so we know. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyrshireTon Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 49 minutes ago, Zetterlund said: Which bus did you put him on? Just so we know. As there are no late night buses in my street, I reckon you're safe. I doubt he'd have waited for one - the cold will have forced him to about face and head back to the house. Anyway, he saw which way I headed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyrshireTon Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 3 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said: If that's a pint tumbler, we're all fucked. The diameter of the glass top is about the length of my middle finger. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 5 hours ago, AyrshireTon said: This ran out from under my couch the other night. When he realised he wasn't getting out from under the glass for now, he just turned and looked right at me. My other half wanted it released further than just chucking it out of the door, so the new bus stop at the top of the drive had to do. The stare clearly means he'll be back - if I vanish, you'll know who to blame. They're fast as f**k those things. I captured one recently and let it go about 100m away from my house and by the time I got home it was sitting on my chair smoking a fag and flicking through the tv channels. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 One of the local birds probably gobbled it up before it got back to you, AyrshireTon. It'll help if you keep telling yourself that. Meanwhile in Alloa, our resident monster disappeared yesterday, before I could build up the courage to commit arachnicide. Similarly, I'm going to tell myself that it had some small birds to hunt outside, far far away 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdgarusQPFC Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 Japanese spider crab. Seen one of these at a Aquarium once. Fucking nope 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 24, 2016 Share Posted August 24, 2016 25 minutes ago, EdgarusQPFC said: Japanese spider crab. Seen one of these at a Aquarium once. Fucking nope Must admit, I'm not sure which would be scarier; waking up with the crab staring at me, or that laddie's face. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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