All things Dundee FC

[harry94]

8 hours ago, Ludo*1 said:

Craig Samson has just became available. A massive feeling of dread surrounds me even if he's looked at as back-up.

If a manager of ours signs him - they should be sacked instantly.

Thank you.

Samson glides into teams. He's an emergency back-up which is fine in theory and then suddenly, your manager wants to save a bit of money and him being a good guy earns his chance as a number one. He's made a very good career for himself and would probably be a reasonable 'keeper down a level but apart from his time at St Mirren, he's been a complete disaster up here. The same goal seems to occur over and over again where he spills the ball into the worst possible place and he makes defences very nervous which gets worse each time you play against him.

8 hours ago, D TOTAL said:

I think he'd be a good back up for Bain

Fon-Williams seems to have had a poor campaign after quite a solid one the year before. I wouldn't have anything against him coming up to provide competition for Bain but my concern would be that he'd justify quite a high wage for somebody who you are looking at likely being a number two. Some stupid English League Two club will get excited at him being an international and offer a good wage packet I reckon.

[Moo]

Samson gives me the fear and I've still got that moment in my mind when he ended our title hopes years ago by smashing the ball off Sean O'Connors arse into the net.

I'd rather promote from the youth team than sign that useless c**t.

[D TOTAL]

All the best Mitchell. Got us clean sheets which led us to our survival . Now we just need our number 1 goalkeeper to do the same please .

Any other first team players released yet ?

Well when you put it that way

[Ludo*1]

My favourite Samson moment was when he 'claimed' it by shouting it was his, only for Palenik to duck and Samson not to have moved and it sail right into the net. Classic Samson. My rage that day inspired my username.

[D TOTAL]

Sean Welsh been released wouldn't be a bad player if he stays fit

[LiamDFC]

Alright. Now that this fucking shambles of a season is done with, lets play a game. I'm going to call it 'Keep, release, execute'.

The context: New manager; clean slate. Let's assume that everyone is on a one year deal with a cheap get-out clause if we don't want them. Going through the current squad list player by player, who would you keep, release or publicly execute? There is only one rule; you get three executions; no more or no less. You must pick three and explain why. Executions take place outside the Caird hall, where a stage and gallows will be set up.

I'll get us started:

—

Scott Bain — Keep; provided he grows up and takes responsibility for his performances. He's a good keeper but has a questionable personality. Seems like a bit of a p***k, but with a clean slate, I reckon he could regain his form and make us forget this seasons blunders.

Kevin Holt — Keep; has been a solid performer, even if he's like a rabbit it the headlights sometimes. Has really improved this season, particularly when he gets forward.

James Vincent — Keep; has been decent this season, looked totally knackered towards the end though. Would have him on the bench.

James McPake — Release; literally no idea what he's going to give us next season. Getting on in years and a horrible injury record. A good player on his day but I don't think we'll see that again. Get rid, IMO.

Darren O’Dea — Keep; I personally think he's a bit of a donkey at the back, but he's probably our best CB. We need to seriously strengthen this position, someone tall and quick to cover for his positional gambles.

Tom Hateley — Execute; Hateley offers nothing to the team and is a big drain on resources. Slows the game to a crawl, where we're soundly beaten.

Nicky Low — Release; there's a player in there somewhere, but he's had his chance IMO. Get rid.

Rory Loy — Keep; I think with better management and a proper system (two up front) we could get a lot more out of him. Would like to see him in a Dundee shirt next season. Doubt that's possible now, though.

Danny Williams — Execute; another one for the gallows, I'm afraid. He's offered very little and has looked terrified playing in-front of the Derry. See you in Hell, Danny.

Mark O’Hara — Release; another big donkey that contributes very little IMO. I initially liked him, but at this point I don't think anyone has a clue what his position is, including himself.

Julen Etxabeguren — Release; has come on to a game at times, but I'm not convinced he'll ever improve enough to become a consistent first-team defender.

Nick Ross — Keep; as with Vincent, I think he's a handy player to have around the place (probably mostly used as a second half substitute) and he looked a bit of a revelation after the split. At times.

Paul McGowan — Release; I'm sorry Gowser, but you've had a rotten season. I know you put in a lot of effort, but you've been fucking shite. I also think you probably just piss off everyone else in the team and quite possibly contributed to the toxic atmosphere pre-McCann. Just a hunch. You'll always be Our Friend, though.

Yordi Teijsse — Release; I feel a bit sorry for him, was a bit of a poisoned chalice coming into the team with little to no experience. Again, thanks but no thanks. Also, he's too ugly to be a Dundee player.

Faisal El Bakhtaoui — Keep; I'd build the team around him TBH. If we started to play a style of football that he'd at least be receptive to, I'm sure the goals would come. Hoofball doesn't suit him (or Loy for that matter). Knock the ball about in the opposing third, pressure their defence and the mistakes will happen. He'll bang them in.

Marcus Haber — Release; total carthorse. The initial 'big man up-front' effect wore off after 4-5 games, he doesn't even win the headers any more and when he does, literally no-one has a clue where the ball will end up. Couple this with the fact that he looks and moves like a knackered old dairy cow, barely scores and insists on wearing gloves in the middle of May, it's a goodbye from me. Thank you, but no thank you.

Henrik Ojamaa — Keep (if possible); I know he's a loanee, but I'd like to have him around. Looked nippy when he first joined, but obviously wasn't ever fully fit. Looked absolutely awful the other day against Caley... I'd be willing to take a punt on him though if we could get him tied up.

Kostadin Gadzhalov — Keep; I'm not one of his fanboys (and there are a few), but I think he'd do a job as a supporting CB. One for the bench and he's cheap.

Cammy Kerr — Keep; clearly our best player this season. Runs through walls and is still improving. Like Holt, I love it when he puts his head down and bombs up the line. He still makes mistakes but he's young and appears to learn from them. Even when he gets beaten, his pace more than often covers for it, gets back and makes the second tackle. 

Craig Wighton — Release; I'm going to say it, Craig Wighton is shite. He's really disappointed his year. Aside from relegating United, what has he actually ever brought to the team? I'd love him to be the next Ronaldo, but he's got to start showing a bit more desire. 

Kevin Gomis — Execute; Sorry Kev, I had one execution left and it's gotta be you. Has shown a bit of quality at times, but more often than not he's been a complete fucking shambles. We also have too many Kevin's at the club, and I'd rather keep Holt. Goodnight, sweet prince.

ETA: Have I missed anyone? I left Curran and Colquhoun out as they've not broken into the first team yet (properly). 

Thank you.

Edited May 23, 2017 by LiamDFC

[Ludo*1]

Some shocking shouts there but it amused me! I cba doing a list myself but will no doubt do so when I can.

[SweeperDee]

You're at it Liam. There should be a statue of Gowser outside the new Camperdown Megaplex.

[RossDee01]

Scott Bain - Keep - Attitude is questionable but still pulls us out the shite, so for that I'll keep him.

Cammy Kerr - Keep - Best player this season by a mile. Wrote him off at the start, but he's proved me wrong.

Darren O'Dea - Keep - He's our leader, and therefore and important member of the team. Even if his tweets make me be a little bit sick in my mouth.

Kosta Gadzhalov - Keep - Relegated the DAB's. Contract for life plz xx.

James McPake - Release - let's be real, the guy's never going to play again.

Kevis Gomis - Release - Was willing to give him a chance until that shambles against Inverness. Cya.

Julen - Execute - There's my first. I'm sorry but he's given away far too many penalties. Adios amigo.

Kevin Holt - Keep - Come on leaps and bounds this year.

Mark O'Hara - Keep - Think he'll improve a lot next season.

Tom Hateley - Release - If he is our highest earner then that's the reason. If he took a wage cut I'd let him stay.

Nick Ross - Keep - Needs a good run in the team. Our only player who wants to PASS the ball forward.

Gowser - Keep - But publicly chop his tongue off.  

James Vincent - Keep - Should be okay now that we don't have to play ICT.

Craig Wighton - Release - Not up to it, and doesn't work hard enough.

El Bak - Keep - Wee Moroccan magician.

Yordi - Execute - For that hairstyle alone.

Marcus Haber - Keep - As long as he can learn how to finish over the summer.

Rory Loy - Keep - I'll give him one more season to show what he can do. If he continues to stand still all the time he'll be getting executed next summer.

Henrik Ojamma - Release - Brought nothing to the team. About as useful as Williams.

Danny Williams - Execute - Had one more so I guess its him.

 

Edited May 23, 2017 by RossDee01

[Moo]

I'd keep Bain, Holt, Kerr, O'Dea, Vincent, Ross, O'Hara, Haber, Wighton, Loy and El Bahktoiu.

Undecided on McGowan, if he plays like he has the three games prior to the last two then yes.

Everyone else, see ya.

[LiamDFC]

5 minutes ago, Moo said:

I'd keep Bain, Holt, Kerr, O'Dea, Vincent, Ross, O'Hara, Haber, Wighton, Loy and El Bahktoiu.

Undecided on McGowan, if he plays like he has the three games prior to the last two then yes.

Everyone else, see ya.

Yes, but who would you publicly execute?

[Moo]

Yes, but who would you publicly execute?

The one with the 13" cock.

[Ludo*1]

The one with the 13" cock.

Harsh on Gadzhalov tbf.

[JockysJetpack]

Can I execute Hateley three times?

Thank You.

[Netan Sansara]

8 minutes ago, JockysJetpack said:

Can I execute Hateley three times?
 

 

Thank You.

 

I concur with these views. Surprised Liam didn't to be honest.

Thank you.

[Moo]

Harsh on Gadzhalov tbf.

Nah Gadz surely doesn't have a cock that size but tbf, he is a handsome b*****d.

[DeeTillEhDeh]

Can I choose to execute Hateley 3 times just to make sure?

 

Oops - just realised Jockysjetpack said the same - great minds think alike.

 

 

[K.T]

Perhaps if the Texans introduced some sort of Battle Royale style fight to the death for the players who don't perform week to week, we would see an improvement in form. If there are players who still can't get their finger out with that looming then we know for sure they can't play at this level. If they survive Battle Royale then they earn their release from their contract and leave Dens with a wee trophy.

[johnnydun]

16 minutes ago, K.T said:

Perhaps if the Texans introduced some sort of Battle Royale style fight to the death for the players who don't perform week to week, we would see an improvement in form. If there are players who still can't get their finger out with that looming then we know for sure they can't play at this level. If they survive Battle Royale then they earn their release from their contract and leave Dens with a wee trophy.

Or some kind of fan voting system like a key pad under the seats in "Who wants to be a Milloinare" at the end of every game, they line up and we get to vote on who gets dropped/executed for next week.

[K.T]

Or some kind of fan voting system like a key pad under the seats in "Who wants to be a Milloinare" at the end of every game, they line up and we get to vote on who gets dropped/executed for next week.

I like it. It could be just what Scottish Football needs to draw in viewers.

Dundee FC - Pioneers of Scotland.