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21 minutes ago, Ludo*1 said:

Dundee squad full:

Dominic Cervi -  American goalkeeper. Most famous for being the b*****d that saved one of Matt Lockwood's penalties and forever denting his confidence. Retired after a stint at Morton.

Clayton Ince - Not only did we have Trinidad & Tobago's number 1 (Keeping Shaka Hislop out the goal FFS) in Kelvin Jack, but we had signed their number 3 some years previously on loan. Never made an appearance.

Jeremy Malherbe - Signed as back-up by Neil McCann. Has a massive fan club in Serbia.

Colin Marshall - Regularly used to be called our worst ever player and he'd certainly be a candidate as he featured for us in our worst ever performing season. Popped up for Cowdenbeath about 6 year ago and then went off the radar again.

Keith Shevlin - A striker that apparently scored 8 goals for us in 28 appearances according to Wiki. I doubt this is true. Can't remember him playing at all for us.

Jon Boggan - Vaguely remember him being like his name suggests. 1 or 2 appearance wonder, never to be seen again.

Craig Sives - Arrived on loan from Hearts. Heralded as the next big thing, got injured and don't think I ever watched him pull on a Dundee shirt.

Eddie Mearns - Terrible, terrible footballer. Signed by Alex Rae who probably thought he was his son. Played 4 games and punted as soon as Jocky Scott came in.

Darren Williams - A Sunderland 'legend'. Him along with Patrick Noubissie formed one of the worst central midfields we've ever had.

Ryan O'Leary - Possibly most 'famous' for his spat and alleging that Jimmy Calderwood was a bully. Arrived on loan and was alright for us tbf. Most recently starring in a Netflix original series called '21 Thunder' and goes by the name Ryan Pierce.

Charlie Grant - Hailed as one of Celtic's most promising youth products but had been hampered by injuries. Looked nowhere near being good enough for us before he succumbed to injuries and duly retired in his early 20s.

David Morgan - Last roll of the dice by Barry Smith. Signed on loan from Nottingham Forest - played once, in Bomber's first game which was a mauling from Celtic and then never seen again. Plies his trade for Southport now.

Rhys Healey - Very promising striker signed on loan from Cardiff. Case of what could have been as he got injured whilst scoring a goal and went back to Cardiff. Smashed it at MK Dons last season before Toulouse signed him a couple of weeks ago much to the rage of MK Dons fans.

How many of these do you remember then lads?

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Only Shevlin I don’t remember at all and never thought Ince was at us. Think I’d walk past everyone of them in the street and not recognise them 😂
 

Rhys Healey’s just got a really good move in the last few weeks. Think it’s maybe to a pretty good club in France. 

Edited by Yenitit
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7 hours ago, The Master said:

It might be the result of a poor translation, but calling a player “not very efficient” is an outstanding euphemism. 

He's not wrong tbf. Parish must be one of the worst in the country for "saves per shot faced".

Soft as shite.

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9 hours ago, Ludo*1 said:

Translated an interview with Malherbe on his Twitter page. Calls Elliot Parish utter shite, basically. Only word that's cut off is the last one which is, 'understand'.

Screenshot_20200919-225932_Chrome.jpg

If Parish was not very efficient, I wonder what he would have said about Jack.

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15 minutes ago, Mr. Alli said:

Can't say you weren't well warned tbf. 

He's really weird, not sure if it was the same for you lot.

Actually looks alright, makes some saves, and then inevitably concedes. Always looks like there's nothing he couldve done to stop the goal going in, yet it happens in literally every game.

He's either the unluckiest keeper on the planet, or he's nailed the "fake dive" routine as he knows he's not agile enough. 

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33 minutes ago, RandomGuy. said:

He's really weird

His name is Elliot Parish. Since that day forward he was destined to be a strange guy. 

Never rated him at Dens but he got a strange amount of plaudits due to who he was replacing (despite not being half as good). Distribution was terrible, hugged his line and always looked suspect/nervous.

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41 minutes ago, RandomGuy. said:

He's really weird, not sure if it was the same for you lot.

Actually looks alright, makes some saves, and then inevitably concedes. Always looks like there's nothing he couldve done to stop the goal going in, yet it happens in literally every game.

He's either the unluckiest keeper on the planet, or he's nailed the "fake dive" routine as he knows he's not agile enough. 

Anything low and to either side of him and he’s not saving it. Good enough with crosses, shots directly at him and the ball at his feet   

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