Dee Dee Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 A certain posters jobby wheeching has reminded me of an incident that occurred many moons ago. So I'd thought I'd start this thread. The following names have been changed, in the interests of anonomity, but the following story is based on true events. As best as my memory serves me. We, about 10 primary school aged lads, were in the middle of an intense, and bloody, battle. Japs and commandos. The battleground was situated in some wooded parkland, near our homes. An excellent choice, as there were was an endless supply of pine cone grenades, readily available. There was also an old standalone, brick and mortar, building that could be used as a bunker or HQ. The building had been, at one time, a public toilet and was now locked up but access was easily gained by climbing over the door. Gary, Pete and myself had done just that. After, of course, lobbing in a grenade each and emptying a magazine into to the building, to ensure it was, indeed clear and, safe to enter. We didn't account for some dirty b*****d leaving an improvised Bangalore torpedo lying on the concrete floor. It bemuses me to this day why someone would go the the trouble of doing this. Going through the efforts of climbing into a public toilet facility which had three working traps, as the plumbing was still good, only to kech on the floor. If they were gonna surface lay they should have just done it in the woods. Gary had fixed his bayonet and gave it a dose of cold steel to ensure it was dead. "I've got you now you British dogs". It was Stevie, who'd suddenly appeared at the broken skylight above us. "Nah yeh've no" Pete shouted and in doing so, using his rifle, flung meatloafs daughter upwards towards the skylight. CRACK! It really did make that sound as it connected right between Stevie's eyes. "Eh cannae see, eh cannae see" Stevie squealed. Luckily a medic, Jimmy, was to hand an once we'd got him down off the roof rinsed, as best he could with raspberry merrimate, the shite from his eyes. However, he still looked like a feacal Lone Ranger, or if you like a shitey Michael Stipe, as he snivelled his way home. I'm sure one of us sent in this story to the scriptwriters at the bbc, as byker grove ran with it a few years later. Although they did tweak it a tadge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 We were talking about this a wee while ago when I'd found an old school group photo. A lot of the names are lost in the mists of time, but the two burned into my brain are: a. The guy who shat himself in class. b. The guy who popped a stauner in the communal showers after PE. Either one could appear on the news as the first man on Mars, having previously cured cancer and invented a means to supply sustainable energy and food for the whole world, and that's what I'd still know them as. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 A certain posters jobby wheeching has reminded me of an incident that occurred many moons ago. So I'd thought I'd start this thread. The following names have been changed, in the interests of anonomity, but the following story is based on true events. As best as my memory serves me. We, about 10 primary school aged lads, were in the middle of an intense, and bloody, battle. Japs and commandos. The battleground was situated in some wooded parkland, near our homes. An excellent choice, as there were was an endless supply of pine cone grenades, readily available. There was also an old standalone, brick and mortar, building that could be used as a bunker or HQ. The building had been, at one time, a public toilet and was now locked up but access was easily gained by climbing over the door. Gary, Pete and myself had done just that. After, of course, lobbing in a grenade each and emptying a magazine into to the building, to ensure it was, indeed clear and, safe to enter. We didn't account for some dirty b*****d leaving an improvised Bangalore torpedo lying on the concrete floor. It bemuses me to this day why someone would go the the trouble of doing this. Going through the efforts of climbing into a public toilet facility which had three working traps, as the plumbing was still good, only to kech on the floor. If they were gonna surface lay they should have just done it in the woods. Gary had fixed his bayonet and gave it a dose of cold steel to ensure it was dead. "I've got you now you British dogs". It was Stevie, who'd suddenly appeared at the broken skylight above us. "Nah yeh've no" Pete shouted and in doing so, using his rifle, flung meatloafs daughter upwards towards the skylight. CRACK! It really did make that sound as it connected right between Stevie's eyes. "Eh cannae see, eh cannae see" Stevie squealed. Luckily a medic, Jimmy, was to hand an once we'd got him down off the roof rinsed, as best he could with raspberry merrimate, the shite from his eyes. However, he still looked like a feacal Lone Ranger, or if you like a shitey Michael Stipe, as he snivelled his way home. I'm sure one of us sent in this story to the scriptwriters at the bbc, as byker grove ran with it a few years later. Although they did tweak it a tadge. That was longer than the war! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estragon Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 A certain posters jobby wheeching has reminded me of an incident that occurred many moons ago. So I'd thought I'd start this thread. The following names have been changed, in the interests of anonomity, but the following story is based on true events. As best as my memory serves me. We, about 10 primary school aged lads, were in the middle of an intense, and bloody, battle. Japs and commandos. The battleground was situated in some wooded parkland, near our homes. An excellent choice, as there were was an endless supply of pine cone grenades, readily available. There was also an old standalone, brick and mortar, building that could be used as a bunker or HQ. The building had been, at one time, a public toilet and was now locked up but access was easily gained by climbing over the door. Gary, Pete and myself had done just that. After, of course, lobbing in a grenade each and emptying a magazine into to the building, to ensure it was, indeed clear and, safe to enter. We didn't account for some dirty b*****d leaving an improvised Bangalore torpedo lying on the concrete floor. It bemuses me to this day why someone would go the the trouble of doing this. Going through the efforts of climbing into a public toilet facility which had three working traps, as the plumbing was still good, only to kech on the floor. If they were gonna surface lay they should have just done it in the woods. Gary had fixed his bayonet and gave it a dose of cold steel to ensure it was dead. "I've got you now you British dogs". It was Stevie, who'd suddenly appeared at the broken skylight above us. "Nah yeh've no" Pete shouted and in doing so, using his rifle, flung meatloafs daughter upwards towards the skylight. CRACK! It really did make that sound as it connected right between Stevie's eyes. "Eh cannae see, eh cannae see" Stevie squealed. Luckily a medic, Jimmy, was to hand an once we'd got him down off the roof rinsed, as best he could with raspberry merrimate, the shite from his eyes. However, he still looked like a feacal Lone Ranger, or if you like a shitey Michael Stipe, as he snivelled his way home. I'm sure one of us sent in this story to the scriptwriters at the bbc, as byker grove ran with it a few years later. Although they did tweak it a tadge. I wonder if this really happened, or it's just a waking dream invented by your brain to suppress the memory of being abused by your Scout Leader. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 I wonder if this really happened, or it's just a waking dream invented by your brain to suppress the memory of being abused by your Scout Leader. That's your, twisted IMO, opinion and you're entitled to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.