Venti Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 You could try a haka. That was the greeting in the World Cup by Honduras. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SodjesSixteenIncher Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 See the person, scream excitedly, arms outstreched, eyes closed, air kisses as you move in, shouting "mwah, mwah, mwah" until you reach them. Bitches love it when you take control of a situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Today was the first day of a job I do one month every year, and that meant meeting a huge amount of people who I haven't seen in a ages. They ranged from good friends to acquaintances, to people I don't know that well and even new folk who I've never met before. It was nice to catch up with everyone and it should be a great month, but before the excitement could begin I had to negotiate the absolute minefield that is deciding how to greet each individual person. Hug? Handshake? Kiss on the cheek? A contactless hello with optional wee wave? 50 or so people, 50 or so decisions. It doesn't really matter what you do, as long as you both do the same thing. The raised hand for a handshake turned awkward nail inspection, or god forbid the hug whilst they go for the kiss on the cheek which feels like embracing your granny when you were a child, you have to be so careful. With blokes it's generally simple (handshakes all round apart from good mates you haven't seen in ages where a hug works), with the ladies there's a question mark. Is shaking their hand weird? How well do you need to know them to go for a hug or the risky cheek peck? So many questions, so few clear answers. Do any PnBers have any tricks for this? I think we need a more transparent system, and I'd like to hear more from Salmond and the SNP on what the procedure would be for greeting people in an independent Scotland. Discuss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Come to think of it everybody greets when I meet them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Always make sure you have a disguise for such an occasion. That way they don't realise they've already met you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Also: glad I'm not the only one who finds handshakes with women incredibly awkward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I hate greetings and it worries me before hand waiting on meeting up with people i always worry what I'm gonna do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTJohnboy Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Also: glad I'm not the only one who finds handshakes with women incredibly awkward. ^^^^ Sweaty hands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomp my root Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Also: glad I'm not the only one who finds handshakes with women incredibly awkward. Life was simpler when they could only get jobs as dinner ladies or prostitutes. None of this awkwardness, lads could be lads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scary Bear Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Gazza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bhoy who invented weetabix Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 A guy has recently started working with us whose daughter I pumped a few years ago, no bad ride she was. Dying to tell him. What do you guys think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 Whenever I hug a woman I'm at the awkward hugging stage with I always imagine it ending up like when the Undertaker threw Mankind off the top of the cage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I'm sure I'm not the only one who when saying goodbye to a mate's maw, said maw moves in for a peck on the cheek... you're not sure whether you're the pecker or the peckee - and you end up kissing her right on the lips. Actually that sounds weird even just looking at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted July 29, 2014 Share Posted July 29, 2014 I find alerting people to the fact I have an erection normally does the trick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 No votes for a swift boot in the pie? For shame, people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 A guy has recently started working with us whose daughter I pumped a few years ago, no bad ride she was. Dying to tell him. What do you guys think? Easy Russell, mind what happened last time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Lick their foreheads. The reaction will tell you a lot about their character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Create a million pound replica of the spaceship from Close Encounters Of The Third Kind and communicate through the medium of musical notes. Problem solved. You're a bunch of, you're a bunch of, you're a bunch of, you're a bunch of waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I've only been in work 10 minutes and I've already hugged three guys. All of whom I saw yesterday. I think I need to get a less tactile job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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