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Petty crime

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Thoroughly enjoyable pastime, especially when nobody gets hurt/arrested. The other day I threw a slice of battenburg out of the passenger window at one of my old school teachers house.

Other petty crimes I enjoy:

Pissing in the street

Minor vandalism (kicking walls and hitting lamp posts)

Spitting in the street

Swearing (quietly) in the post office when there is a long queue.

Driving a golf buggy down the dual-carriageway and riding a bike on the golf course are borderline and quite frankly rather dangerous.

Drugs, assault and carrying dangerous weapons absolutely cross the line, and in my opinion is when crime becomes hardcore and not petty.

Does anyone have any nice stories involving petty crime?

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Is spitting in the street a crime?

In some places yes, easily one of my favourite petty crimes. If only I had the nerve to do it more often!

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Kicking a lamppost seems like an ultimately futile act.

I'd be up for it if it didn't sound like it would be quite sore. I've walked into a lamppost once. Wasn't an experience worth reliving IMO.

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Fucking on the street is a crime.

On a serious note, where is it legal to f*** outdoors as far as the law here is concerned?

Eta: Actually, think I've answered my own question. Not if you didn't expect to be seen apparently.

Copyright infringement

Entering a football stadium whilst influenced by alcohol.

Guilty of both here too. Also...

Tax evasion: Not submitting a tax form highlighting BUPA through work which apparently is a taxable benefit (I found this out just a few months ago).

I've extremely briefly driven onto a quiet but public road without a provisional or full licence.

Breaking into abandoned property.

Theft: Sign from a ferry / pint glass from a pub.

Making off without payment (accidental)

Watering somebody's cannabis plant for them (technically cultivating I suppose)

Hammering a rock within a (then unknown to me) Site of Special Scientific Interest

Duckslaughter: I killed a duck by dropping a rock on it's head (I was young and just trying to splash it from a jetty, honest) - I can only presume that's a crime.

Edited by Hedgecutter

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Underage drinking

Drinking in the street

Urinating in the street (these three go hand-in-hand)

Stole a pint glass from a pub

Minor vandalism

Illegally downloading/streaming music/films.

Small possession of drugs.

When I had just turned 18, I once went and bought fags for a 17 year-old mate.

Turns out I'm a lot more badass than I thought.

There aren't any police officers on here, is there?

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Underage drinking

Drinking in the street

Urinating in the street (these three go hand-in-hand)

Stole a pint glass from a pub

Minor vandalism

Illegally downloading/streaming music/films.

Small possession of drugs.

When I had just turned 18, I once went and bought fags for a 17 year-old mate.

Turns out I'm a lot more badass than I thought.

There aren't any police officers on here, is there?

Actually, there is. Hard lines, crims!

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Copyright infringement

Entering a football stadium whilst influenced by alcohol.

And being intoxicated on licensed premises.

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Completely forgot about one of my favourites; gesturing at CCTV cameras. Pretending to shag air is my personal fav.

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Openingly admitting to commiting crimes eh?...

Reported.

I am only writing these to sound cool. All of mine are entirely fictional and have never happened.

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Is spitting in the street a crime?

It should be.

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Pretending to shag air is my personal fav.

Is being a VL considered a crime?

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I'd be up for it if it didn't sound like it would be quite sore. I've walked into a lamppost once. Wasn't an experience worth reliving IMO.

Me too. Not sure what was worse, the physical pain or the embarrassment.

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