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paranoid android

Pros and cons of having a bird

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I've never had a meal made for me during the whole 6 month relationship. I should wield the axe.

A man gets married and shortly afterwards his wife dies. A friend tries to console him and asks, "What happened to your wife?"

"She died of poison from eating mushrooms," said the husband.

This man gets married a second time, and not long after the marriage, this second wife dies. The same friend tries to console the grieving husband and asks, "What happened to your second wife?"

"She died of poison from eating mushrooms," was also the reply from the husband.

This man takes a third wife and, not very long after the marriage, the third wife dies.

The consoling friend asks, "What happened to your third wife? Was it mushroom poisoning?"

The grieving husband responds, "No, she died of a broken neck."

"A broken neck!" replies the friend.

"Yes," says the husband, "she wouldn't eat her mushrooms."

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my burd is not so nice but is normal want to swap?

I never said I was normal. I'm a depressive b*****d and work highly antisocial hours that aren't good for relationships. This is no bad thing.

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Regular intercourse cannot be underestimated. I remember being single all those years ago and going months without. Now if I go a week the wife tells me "we need to talk" and "why haven't you made a move on me". The down side is that it can become a little routine.

I think that without my wife, I'd be a porn addicted antisocial knob with Star Trek posters on my walls. I would probably even be a Tory voter and watch Big Brother. WIth her, well, she sees me right.

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Pros:

A ride on tap.

Ironing done for you.

Cooking done for you.

Pretty good birthday and Christmas presents.

Cons:

Having to tidy up after yourself.

Having to humour her annoying friends.

Being her personal taxi driver and getting a look as if you've just killed her family if you refuse her to take her anywhere immediately.

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Pros:

Being her personal taxi driver and getting a look as if you've just killed her family if you refuse her to take her anywhere immediately.

This. My wife has a bad habit of bringing work colleagues over to the car when I pick her up and telling me "i told such and such that it would be ok if you dropped them off on the way home". That soon got stopped, she now phones and asks me first.

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