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paranoid android

Pros and cons of having a bird

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Would any of you chuck your girlfriend for someone else if the opportunity arose?

No. Thing is you might have an opportunity with a girl who is better looking, but then you have to look at what you are giving up.

I've got a girlfriend who is normal, doesn't go mental at -that- time, likes football, likes beer, is fantastic in bed, essentially has everything I would want in a partner.

Honestly don't think I could do any better. Even if they were better with one of the qualities that is important to me, the chances of them being better with all is so utterly unlikely it's not worth risking someone so fantastic on the million to one shot that new person is slightly better.

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but a standing cock has no conscience as my father always used to say

Was that when you lost your flower?

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No. Thing is you might have an opportunity with a girl who is better looking, but then you have to look at what you are giving up.

I've got a girlfriend who is normal, doesn't go mental at -that- time, likes football, likes beer, is fantastic in bed, essentially has everything I would want in a partner.

Honestly don't think I could do any better. Even if they were better with one of the qualities that is important to me, the chances of them being better with all is so utterly unlikely it's not worth risking someone so fantastic on the million to one shot that new person is slightly better.

I like you. You'll go far.

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The sad reality of it is that if some nice looking girl threw her fanny at me i wouldn't be able to say no i would just fire in and then ask questions later. i have been with the mrs for years as well and i know fine well it would be an end to us but a standing cock has no conscience as my father always used to say

I'm surprised at this.

After your story of having a fly tug whilst sniffing your girlfriends sisters used pants, i would have thought you were a one woman guy.

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Was that when you lost your flower?

No, i ws 15 at the time then and wasn't that bothered about getting laid

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I'm surprised at this.

After your story of having a fly tug whilst sniffing your girlfriends sisters used pants, i would have thought you were a one woman guy.

You understand me Bobby, most others don't!!

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No, i ws 15 at the time then and wasn't that bothered about getting laid

at 15 the only things i cared about was food, footballand wanking myself into oblivion, how could getting laid not bother you haha

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at 15 the only things i cared about was food, footballand wanking myself into oblivion, how could getting laid not bother you haha

It really didn't, in all honesty it was at about 23 when i was properly into shagging and by that time i was hitched

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One time i was riding a wee dirty on a bathroom floor when high on pills and i couldn't shoot my load for the life of me but ended up finishing myself off into the toilet and didn't flush then one of my pals took a pic of it and posted it on bebo

In tears at this :lol: :lol: :lol:

Being single is great on Saturdays and weeknights when there is football on, being single on weeknights with nothing on and Sundays is shite though (unless it's a really gid Super Sunday)

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It really didn't, in all honesty it was at about 23 when i was properly into shagging and by that time i was hitched

So you were only a bit of a virgin up until then?

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Being single is great on Saturdays and weeknights when there is football on, being single on weeknights with nothing on and Sundays is shite though (unless it's a really gid Super Sunday)

Very much this at times

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In tears at this :lol: :lol: :lol:

Being single is great on Saturdays and weeknights when there is football on, being single on weeknights with nothing on and Sundays is shite though (unless it's a really gid Super Sunday)

^^^ Kens the score.

Of course, if your burd is into football then you win a watch. I mean proper into football not one of those sketty pretenders.

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^^^ Kens the score.

Of course, if your burd is into football then you win a watch. I mean proper into football not one of those sketty pretenders.

Dunno if I'd want a bird into football, I like a girly girl, leave me to watch the fitba in peace haha

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I like not having a bird on a Saturday, however as others have said Sundays are shite when you're single. Being hungover and generally miserable is ten times worse alone.

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I like not having a bird on a Saturday, however as others have said Sundays are shite when you're single. Being hungover and generally miserable is ten times worse alone.

If a girl would gently wake me up on a Sunday morning with blow job, and climb on top to finish, and then fetch a pint of cold water, a coffee, followed by a can of lager, and then get the bacon on, I might keep her for a bit.

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So you were only a bit of a virgin up until then?

No - just getting laid was more of a normality rather than something i actually enjoyed. Tried to get as many rides as possible to brag about rather than enjoying the experience

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I like not having a bird on a Saturday, however as others have said Sundays are shite when you're single. Being hungover and generally miserable is ten times worse alone.

Yes but getting woken up to do some shit task like gardening/DIY that you 'promised' (but can't remember promising) you'd do is dog shit. Even if its something like going for a walk that you 'promised' you do but now can't be arsed isn't always worth having a burd about on a sunday.

I always think its a case of the grass being greener next door, when you've got a burd you fantasise about being single and when you're single you seem to spend your time thinking it would be good to have a burd. I've had the best of both worlds before, we both had our own flats about 10 minutes walk away and our local boozer was in the middle. Most nights we spent together but if we fell out or I had mates crashing over we had our own space. Went and ruined it by getting spliced though which I'm still not exactly sure came about.

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i completely agree - i fantasised that a woman was going to come along and all the negative shit in my life would go away and everything would change, you see it all the time with people who actually pretend this is a reality as well but i noticed that it didn't change that much. I often fantasise that i would be better off single for sure but then when you look around most people in their late 20's that are single are absolute trumpets so i don't think being single would be the best option for me. The cows horns aren't always bigger in the far away field

:lol:

I am going to use this as often as possible today.

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:lol:

I am going to use this as often as possible today.

This guy i used to work for always used to say it!

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Yes but getting woken up to do some shit task like gardening/DIY that you 'promised' (but can't remember promising) you'd do is dog shit. Even if its something like going for a walk that you 'promised' you do but now can't be arsed isn't always worth having a burd about on a sunday.

Totally agree with this. Sunday is the absolute worst day to be in a relationship. There's footy on FFS, and you want to go for a walk in the park and talk about cushions or some shit? f**k right off.

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