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paranoid android

Pros and cons of having a bird

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She's forever on about how I'm not romantic and go about it all the wrong way, I'm always like can we pump now and she's like no then i grab her bits and tell her that she is my property and occasionally poke her with my erect penis but it doesn't turn her on and i usually have to go into the room on my own and w**k otherwise my hard on won't go away on its own. A handsome devil such as I shouldn't be wanking nearly as much as i do

She says you're not romantic?

Women eh?

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She says you're not romantic?

Women eh?

Its ridiculous, i can be romantic at times but when i want my end away i just want to shoot my load into her and when she doesn't do it I'm pretty rude to her and question why she's there in the first place. its not like she is an insightful interesting person

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My mrs is horrible when I'm hungover, her shrill and piercing voice telling me i shouldn't drink so much or acted like a dickhead etc is like nails down a drawing board and makes a bad situation a hole lot worse

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See what you did there?

Im just sex obsessed just now. I think its because I'm slightly hungover

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I think its crucial to find a girl who understands (and preferably enjoys) the frantic depravity of hangover sex. Everything else can be worked upon.

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Hangover sex is the best, drunken sex is shit. Quite often i would have one night stands and didn't get much of a pinger the night before but then wake up at about 7 am with the complete urge for animalistic sex and just jam it in there when the lady was still asleep and go mad with it. Then get rid of them in the morning once the deed was done. I bloody wish i was single again some times

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Hangover sex is the best, drunken sex is shit. Quite often i would have one night stands and didn't get much of a pinger the night before but then wake up at about 7 am with the complete urge for animalistic sex and just jam it in there when the lady was still asleep and go mad with it. Then get rid of them in the morning once the deed was done. I bloody wish i was single again some times

Throbber, have you had a look at the rape laws recently?

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One time i was riding a wee dirty on a bathroom floor when high on pills and i couldn't shoot my load for the life of me but ended up finishing myself off into the toilet and didn't flush then one of my pals took a pic of it and posted it on bebo

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Throbber, have you had a look at the rape laws recently?

Hardly rape, the ladies in question rarely objected . In fact the only one that did ever object to it is the one that I'm stuck with :P

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Hardly rape, the ladies in question rarely objected . In fact the only one that did ever object to it is the one that I'm stuck with :P

I wouldn't rely on that as a defence.

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I wouldn't rely on that as a defence.

This is going back about 5 years i think I'm in the clear now but thanks for the concern

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i stroked my girlfriend on the chin and said "I'm going to make this kitty purr" and she said afterwards it was the worst thing that she has ever seen and never to do it again

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i stroked my girlfriend on the chin and said "I'm going to make this kitty purr" and she said afterwards it was the worst thing that she has ever seen and never to do it again

You're good people throbber. :lol:

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