DA Baracus Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 See when folk who work in bars say they'l serve an attractive lassie first: are they genuinely expecting sex from said lassie(s) simply because they served them before someone else? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Growl3th Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 Reported for racism.Reported for arseholeism. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted December 12, 2018 Share Posted December 12, 2018 25 minutes ago, Growl3th said: 2 hours ago, D.A.F.C said: Reported for racism. Reported for arseholeism. Reported for weeteamism 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romeo Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 Me: "Pint of...and whatever she's having" Go and sit down. Her: "What kind of gin have you got...do you do cocktails...have you got Fever Tree Tonic...can you still serve coffee...what's that the woman over there is drinking...is it strong...have you got no Brockmans...Bombay Sapphire and slimline Fever Tree then...in a big glass...lots of ice." Me: "Same again please" Her: "I don't really like it here, he was quite cheeky." Have you been out with my wife? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
young_bairn Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 4 older gentlemen get to the bar just before me at Krakow airport the other day. Fair enough I'll wait an hour for the bar women to make their lattes [emoji35] there was literally a coffee shop next door. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 Pub last night watching the football, two guys come in, instantly marked out as arseholes as when they reach the bar one is wearing a 'funny Christmas jumper' and asks the girl behind the bar 'a voddie and coke and do you do Corona ?' Do these 50 something Cockwombles think that Corona is some exotic beer that isn't actually just watery pish available in every supermarket and pub in the country. When the drinks are delivered and they are asked is that all his reply to the barmaid is ' eh no, there are two others but they seem to have disappeared can you wait a few minutes....' No she can't wait as I'm now ready for my next pint and there are others in the bar to serve and she isn't your personal bar staff. And of course when the other two members of the Tellytubbies arrived they wanted exactly the same drink they had in the last bar, and the one before and the one before that LEARN YOUR FUCKING ROUND 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 11 hours ago, DA Baracus said: See when folk who work in bars say they'l serve an attractive lassie first: are they genuinely expecting sex from said lassie(s) simply because they served them before someone else? Yes. I certainly was. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 As a former barman let me tell ye that serving the attractive lassie first is a mug's game. If yer wanting to fire in you need to have as much chat with her as possible so serve her at the appropriate time, in the order they arrive at the bar, but make an effort to let her know you've clocked her and you'll be serving her in a minute. Bit of a generalisation but lassies generally prefer a spirit/mixer over a pint so you can ask them a bit more about their drink while pouring a pint: "Dae ye want ice with it?" "Ye want Gordons or ye want tae try this fancy Faroese gin instead?" etc. Apologise that it's busy but keep them focused on yersel' to see if there's any interest. Then ye can fire in. Fucking amateurs. Serving lassie's first. They know whit yer up tae. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 3 hours ago, Romeo said: 12 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Me: "Pint of...and whatever she's having" Go and sit down. Her: "What kind of gin have you got...do you do cocktails...have you got Fever Tree Tonic...can you still serve coffee...what's that the woman over there is drinking...is it strong...have you got no Brockmans...Bombay Sapphire and slimline Fever Tree then...in a big glass...lots of ice." Me: "Same again please" Her: "I don't really like it here, he was quite cheeky." Have you been out with my wife? We all have. There's a rota. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 12 hours ago, DA Baracus said: See when folk who work in bars say they'l serve an attractive lassie first: are they genuinely expecting sex from said lassie(s) simply because they served them before someone else? By whatever deity giving them superior genes, it's a birthright that they should get superior treatment. Kind of like how royalty get to look down everybody and get showered with money simply because of the family they were born into. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ylf Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 Few old guys in my local sit in the same seats at a table every week. God forbid if you sit there before they are in. Try push themselves in and tut like fuk. I’m no moving you old c**t. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 1 hour ago, MEADOWXI said: 'funny Christmas jumper' 1 hour ago, MEADOWXI said: 'a voddie and coke and do you do Corona ?' Him and his crowd all OFTW Corona is the absolute arsehole of beers. "Oh oh look at me with a lime in the bottle neck, I'm dead exotic me". Pish! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 19 minutes ago, Ylf said: Few old guys in my local sit in the same seats at a table every week. God forbid if you sit there before they are in. Try push themselves in and tut like fuk. I’m no moving you old c**t. why sit there then? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 Folk who drink beer from a bottle rather than have a pint of it are OFTW in general. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 14 hours ago, ah-dee said: 14 hours ago, Romeo said: Anyone else go out with their Mrs/Mr/significant other and instead of knowing what they want to drink they have to peruse a fucking menu for 20 mins? Mrs Romeo is famous for this. Then she'll order a ridiculous cocktail which means I have to wait 10 minutes for my pint. mrs ah is worse. spends ages with the menu then orders a g&t. what she always drinks Wait, wait...Pubs have menus? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 2 minutes ago, TheScarf said: Folk who drink beer from a bottle rather than have a pint of it are OFTW in general. I once saw someone in Forres (Mosset) order a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale and proceed to drink it from the bottle. Might have been Jimmy Savile or Gary Glitter tbf 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Thompson Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 12 hours ago, DA Baracus said: See when folk who work in bars say they'l serve an attractive lassie first: are they genuinely expecting sex from said lassie(s) simply because they served them before someone else? Yes. I certainly was. 1 hour ago, TheScarf said: Yes. I certainly was. ^^ doing it right 1 hour ago, AsimButtHitsASix said: As a former barman let me tell ye that serving the attractive lassie first is a mug's game. If yer wanting to fire in you need to have as much chat with her as possible so serve her at the appropriate time, in the order they arrive at the bar, but make an effort to let her know you've clocked her and you'll be serving her in a minute. Bit of a generalisation but lassies generally prefer a spirit/mixer over a pint so you can ask them a bit more about their drink while pouring a pint: "Dae ye want ice with it?" "Ye want Gordons or ye want tae try this fancy Faroese gin instead?" etc. Apologise that it's busy but keep them focused on yersel' to see if there's any interest. Then ye can fire in. Fucking amateurs. Serving lassie's first. They know whit yer up tae. ^^ doing it wrong 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 Wait; are folk now actually claiming that lassies shagged them because they served a drink to said lassies before someone else? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjc Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 15 hours ago, ah-dee said: without reading through the entire thread im sure all the usual things have been mentioned but a huge one for me is barmaids boyfriends shouldn't be allowed in if they are jealous arseholes. nothing worse than getting served and her lad is sat growling away. Does WeeperDee's gf work in your local? 30 minutes ago, TheScarf said: Folk who drink beer from a bottle rather than have a pint of it are OFTW in general. I generally agree with you but I know a few folk that will switch to bottles if on a big day/night out.......the reduced volume seems to work for them in terms of becoming less drunk that those that stay on the pints. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bold Rover Posted December 13, 2018 Share Posted December 13, 2018 5 hours ago, sjc said: Does WeeperDee's gf work in your local? I generally agree with you but I know a few folk that will switch to bottles if on a big day/night out.......the reduced volume seems to work for them in terms of becoming less drunk that those that stay on the pints. So you mean that if you drink a lower quantity of beer, you'll become less drunk? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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