BFTD Posted March 18, 2022 Share Posted March 18, 2022 Sounds like you need an Evangelist to espouse the virtues of your Champions. I'm free two days a week. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donathan Posted March 18, 2022 Share Posted March 18, 2022 3 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: Champions. You're a champion, You're a champion. Everyone's a fucking champion. (Im not a champion btw) Try working with Americans. Everyone is the “Assistant Vice-President” of something. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 18, 2022 Share Posted March 18, 2022 31 minutes ago, Donathan said: Try working with Americans. Everyone is the “Assistant Vice-President” of something. My work is becoming like that. Director of Emptying bins is what I aspire to. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broon-loon Posted March 18, 2022 Share Posted March 18, 2022 4 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: My work is becoming like that. Director of Emptying bins is what I aspire to. I'm not working at the moment. If you land this fantastic opportunity... do you fancy a job share..? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted March 18, 2022 Share Posted March 18, 2022 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: My work is becoming like that. Director of Emptying bins is what I aspire to. Junior Associate Social Media Liaison, surely. If they query the value to the business of posting on football forums, point out how successful it's made them so far. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted March 18, 2022 Share Posted March 18, 2022 On 21/02/2022 at 23:46, BFTD said: I swear this was a George Carlin bit. I'm not sure what that even means lol. Now that I've had a bit of time to reflect, I'm quite pleased that I subconsciously rebelled against all this pish in my last couple of years. There were many times I'd ask someone (usually a contractor) "aye but what does that mean? What will we have at the end of it?" and got more bollocks back before eventually establishing that the correct answer was "the square root of f**k all". To those caught up in endless sprints or scrums (which are usually not sprints or scrums but are just talking shops), just remember that they're not supposed to be endless - that's the fucking point. Get them in the fucking sea. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted March 19, 2022 Share Posted March 19, 2022 5 minutes ago, HTG said: I'm not sure what that even means lol. George Carlin had some bits about terminology that were phrased very similarly to your post. Look them up, you'd enjoy them. Actually, everyone should look up some George Carlin, frankly. He gets misrepresented all over the internet, but he was very funny. I think the main one I'm remembering was about New Age jargon: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted March 19, 2022 Share Posted March 19, 2022 Cheers. By way of thanks I'll offer you the Gemba Walk. Lovely stuff. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mishtergrolsch Posted March 19, 2022 Share Posted March 19, 2022 New Health and Safety officer at work. Comes into my department to see risk assessments. All present, up to date and accurate. H&S officer : when a new person starts do you show them the risk assessment? Me : thats my bosses job. H&S : ok. But what training do you give to new starts? Me : none...not my job. If they're doing something stupid while I'm there I'll tell them to stop. If they don't stop I leave and have nothing more to do with the situation and mention it to my boss. H&S confused face : Do you not give them a Toolbox Talk?! Me LOLing : whats a Toolbox talk? And why do I have to do that? H&S : Its important that everyone sees the risk assessment, gets a toolbox talk which should include how to use equipment, pre start checks and safe stop procedures. Me : Im genuinely struggling to understand why you're asking me to do that. Thats my bosses job. You should speak to her. Plus, whats a toolbox got to do with starting and operating machinery? Wouldnt it make sense to call it something like Operator Training? I'll only need a toolbox somethings broken in which case I wouldnt be operating it. H&S : Your attitude to Health and Safety is appalling. Im going to speak to your manager. Me : Cool. When you're there, tell her to give you a Toolbox Talk on hierarchy, management and responsibilities of employees while you're there? Also got an email yesterday saying : "Can you please copy Katie in. She will facilitate the training. Side note, the facilities on the first floor are out of use, the facilitator will advise where the nearest facilities are." So I have to contact the training instructor who will also tell me where the bog is. Cheers for that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cb_diamond Posted March 19, 2022 Share Posted March 19, 2022 (edited) With a partial return to the office I am now classed as an "agile" worker. Clearly they've never seen me in a game of dodgeball. Edited March 19, 2022 by cb_diamond 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mishtergrolsch Posted March 19, 2022 Share Posted March 19, 2022 5 minutes ago, cb_diamond said: With a partial return to the office I am now classed as an "agile" worker. Clearly they've never seen me in a game of dodgeball. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cb_diamond Posted March 19, 2022 Share Posted March 19, 2022 1 hour ago, mishtergrolsch said: This, but more immobile... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiegoDiego Posted March 24, 2022 Share Posted March 24, 2022 Try working with Americans. Everyone is the “Assistant Vice-President” of something. Assistant to the Vice-President. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted March 24, 2022 Share Posted March 24, 2022 (edited) On 18/03/2022 at 15:40, RH33 said: "our offices are still pivoted" Like the Post Office Tower? On 18/03/2022 at 15:45, Melanius Mullarkay said: Champions. You're a champion, You're a champion. Everyone's a fucking champion. (Im not a champion btw) I wanted to be the Bullying Champion, but it wasn't the job I envisaged. Edited March 25, 2022 by Sergeant Wilson 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 24, 2022 Share Posted March 24, 2022 5 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Like the Post Office Tower? I wanted to be the Bullying Champion, but it wasn't the hob I envisaged. Difficult to light cigarettes using induction. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishBhoy Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 On 28/02/2022 at 06:08, Donathan said: Interviewed for a role recently which involved a “Daily scrum” at 9:30am. I assume this is nothing to do with rugby. I was working as a contractor down in London late 2019, in one of the Underground rail depots. Everyone else was employed through Transport for London or a different rail company, but I was the only one from my company. After a few days the shift manager asked if I was willing to take part in ‘the 9 o clock boardwalk’. Turns out this is a fancy name for a ‘daily 9 o clock meeting’. Obviously I had absolutely no idea what it was to begin with, and he explained it was a conference call with all the top brass from TfL, Network Rail, Bombardier etc. I politely declined, as not only was I a contractor who had absolutely no right to be taking part in something like that, it was also many levels above my pay grade and I wasn’t willing to take on the responsibility of reporting to that level of management. I’m still unsure why it’s called a ‘boardwalk’ tbh 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 On 19/03/2022 at 08:50, mishtergrolsch said: New Health and Safety officer at work. Same here. She sent a long ranty email last night (7pm) about dust and ventilation in a lab. She got the lab name completely wrong and sent it to the wrong people. Off to a flyer, hen. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 3 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: Same here. She sent a long ranty email last night (7pm) about dust and ventilation in a lab. She got the lab name completely wrong and sent it to the wrong people. Off to a flyer, hen. Our Head of H&S (1 person department) sends emails like that regularly, before doing a classic P&B style "I was just testing you all" follow up. She's a fucking moron 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 6 hours ago, Mark Connolly said: Our Head of H&S (1 person department) sends emails like that regularly, before doing a classic P&B style "I was just testing you all" follow up. She's a fucking moron Send her back one of these - 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 1 minute ago, Jacksgranda said: Send her back one of these - I prefer not to engage with her at all tbh. It's better for health and safety that way 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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