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Business / corporate speak nonsense

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8 minutes ago, GNU_Linux said:
1 hour ago, Dons_1988 said:
I like to think we are all P&B colleagues.

I prefer the term comrades myself

If I was making a speech to the masses it would begin "Colleagues, comrades and fellow deviants..."

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36 minutes ago, GNU_Linux said:
1 hour ago, Dons_1988 said:
I like to think we are all P&B colleagues.

I prefer the term comrades myself

Brothers, Shirley?

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I prefer the term comrades myself
Awright Troops

 

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5 minutes ago, Swarley said:

Awright Troops

 

Felt a wee bit bad last week – was called into a meeting with a couple of bosses. I know both of them well, so naturally I greeted them with a “alright bitches?” as I walked in.

Turns out they’d called me in to tell me they’d negotiated a bonus for me for a project I’d completed a couple of months back.

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Overheard a conversation on the train today and a guy talking loudly into his phone (Bob Mortimer style) demanding the ‘granular detail of the logistics plan’ before he would give the go ahead apparently. Seems they were moving a couple of old office tables and a few knackered chairs, from one room to a store. What the f**k does that even mean? Do people actually get paid for coming up with this nonsense?

Aye I know, c*nts on a train thread for this pish!

 

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Felt a wee bit bad last week – was called into a meeting with a couple of bosses. I know both of them well, so naturally I greeted them with a “alright bitches?” as I walked in.
Turns out they’d called me in to tell me they’d negotiated a bonus for me for a project I’d completed a couple of months back.
So naturally you jumped on your chair, shouted "BONUS BITCHES", and chest bumped them?

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Overheard a conversation on the train today and a guy talking loudly into his phone (Bob Mortimer style) demanding the ‘granular detail of the logistics plan’ before he would give the go ahead apparently. Seems they were moving a couple of old office tables and a few knackered chairs, from one room to a store. What the f**k does that even mean? Do people actually get paid for coming up with this nonsense?
Aye I know, c*nts on a train thread for this pish!
 
What did you do? I'd be inclined to laugh in his face.

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8 hours ago, jimmy boo said:
11 hours ago, Clockwork said:
Overheard a conversation on the train today and a guy talking loudly into his phone (Bob Mortimer style) demanding the ‘granular detail of the logistics plan’ before he would give the go ahead apparently. Seems they were moving a couple of old office tables and a few knackered chairs, from one room to a store. What the f**k does that even mean? Do people actually get paid for coming up with this nonsense?
Aye I know, c*nts on a train thread for this pish!
 

What did you do? I'd be inclined to laugh in his face.

Hopefully shouted "c***s on a train thread for this pish"

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What did you do? I'd be inclined to laugh in his face.

Stuck my headphones on and just stared out of the window, seething at the world!

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Stuck my headphones on and just stared out of the window, seething at the world!
That was your first mistake, headphones should be firmly in place before boarding the train.

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31 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes.

I believe the formal term is "bunch of files".

 

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1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes.

When I have shown my knowledge about a specific subject people have described me as "a natural reservoir of information".  I guess "data lake" is similar.

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Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes.
 
Voice inside my head when I hear shit like this.......

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4 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes.

 

A friend works for a company that encourages its employees to take "thought showers".

"Geoff, I'm going to the data lake for a thought shower".

Hope they f****** drown in it.

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7 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes.

 

The term for a data lake that isn't well maintained is, genuinely... a data swamp.

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