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Business / corporate speak nonsense

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Absolutely fuck being a salesman.  Knowing you spend every working day shafting people.  Usually elderly people.

My wife is unbelievably good at stringing these shysters along for ages. I don't know how she doesn't break into laughter.

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3 hours ago, The Moonster said:

Salesmen get up in the morning...

20190627_095856.jpg

... and somehow just about come up with a reason not to end it all. 

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3 hours ago, The Moonster said:

Salesmen get up in the morning...

20190627_095856.jpg

My dog has a better grasp of sentence structure that whatever tit wrote that. 

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My wife is unbelievably good at stringing these shysters along for ages. I don't know how she doesn't break into laughter.

My late Dad used to like stringing cold callers along on the phone, especially when there was a spate of people calling to flog conservatories. He would have them convinced that they pretty much had a stick on sale, then ask them if it was possible to fit one on a first floor tenement flat.

 

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3 hours ago, TheScarf said:

Absolutely f**k being a salesman.  Knowing you spend every working day shafting people.  Usually elderly people.

Wayne Rooney found.

Edited by D.A.F.C

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8 hours ago, The Moonster said:

Salesmen get up in the morning...

20190627_095856.jpg

If circumstances deem that there are no opportunities, they go back to bed and have a w**k. 

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My dog has a better grasp of sentence structure that whatever tit wrote that. 
Is your dog better at typing than you?

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22 hours ago, TheScarf said:

Absolutely f**k being a salesman.  Knowing you spend every working day shafting people.  Usually elderly people.

They are usually also being shafted. 

My first graduate job was in sales after I answered an advert for a marketing management training program. 

You were told you were self employed (no sick pay, hols etc) but actually subject to employment type control. Commission only-£10 to sign a mug up for Gas and electricity or £4 for one. 

We got taught how to railroad thickos into signing. 

There was motivational crap, standing in a circle, clapping, and getting to hi five round the circle if you hit your targets. 

I went back to catering for more money and more self-respect. 

 

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6 minutes ago, coprolite said:

They are usually also being shafted. 

My first graduate job was in sales after I answered an advert for a marketing management training program. 

You were told you were self employed (no sick pay, hols etc) but actually subject to employment type control. Commission only-£10 to sign a mug up for Gas and electricity or £4 for one. 

We got taught how to railroad thickos into signing. 

There was motivational crap, standing in a circle, clapping, and getting to hi five round the circle if you hit your targets. 

I went back to catering for more money and more self-respect. 

 

image.jpeg.1b6f783e0e107ef0284a2760a9d6786f.jpeg IMO

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2 hours ago, coprolite said:

They are usually also being shafted. 

My first graduate job was in sales after I answered an advert for a marketing management training program. 

You were told you were self employed (no sick pay, hols etc) but actually subject to employment type control. Commission only-£10 to sign a mug up for Gas and electricity or £4 for one. 

We got taught how to railroad thickos into signing. 

There was motivational crap, standing in a circle, clapping, and getting to hi five round the circle if you hit your targets. 

I went back to catering for more money and more self-respect. 

 

How is that a graduate job? It sounds more like it's for prisoners in early release.

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4 hours ago, TheScarf said:

image.jpeg.1b6f783e0e107ef0284a2760a9d6786f.jpeg IMO

We went from hunting mammoths and dying at 40 to this. Fucking mess.

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4 hours ago, HenryHill said:

We went from hunting mammoths and dying at 40 to this. Fucking mess.

Move to Shettleston and you can still die at 40.

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Just read an e-mail that I was copied into, where the recipient was asked to 'check his bandwidth' later this week (apparently meaning how busy are you on Thurs/Friday?)….....

how did we get here, using this nonsense pish!?     

 

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25 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Was in London today to find out that to enable maximum impact, I should employ a poet or a drawnalist. 

 

114C90BC-8BE6-4105-8F43-57AD2B425EB5.gif

Try a hammer.

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Week 4 - Building Personal Resilience

If we concentrate too much on work we wander from the Path of Transformation into the Hall of Lost Resilience. This hall contains many mirrors which ramp up our negativity.

How do we combat this you ask? Well, in our Action Pack we have Energy Boosters to get us back on track. Plus we need to Reframe negativity into positivity.

So "my God, we've hit an iceberg and are going to drown" changes to "well its a nice night for a swim"!

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2 hours ago, Swarley said:

Week 4 - Building Personal Resilience

If we concentrate too much on work we wander from the Path of Transformation into the Hall of Lost Resilience. This hall contains many mirrors which ramp up our negativity.

How do we combat this you ask? Well, in our Action Pack we have Energy Boosters to get us back on track. Plus we need to Reframe negativity into positivity.

So "my God, we've hit an iceberg and are going to drown" changes to "well its a nice night for a swim"!

Whilst you freeze to death. Or “I was too hot anyway, it’s good to cool down a bit”

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Week 4 - Building Personal Resilience

 

If we concentrate too much on work we wander from the Path of Transformation into the Hall of Lost Resilience. This hall contains many mirrors which ramp up our negativity.

 

How do we combat this you ask? Well, in our Action Pack we have Energy Boosters to get us back on track. Plus we need to Reframe negativity into positivity.

 

So "my God, we've hit an iceberg and are going to drown" changes to "well its a nice night for a swim"!

 

J. Bruce Ismay likes this.

 

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Was in London today to find out that to enable maximum impact, I should employ a poet or a drawnalist. 
 
114C90BC-8BE6-4105-8F43-57AD2B425EB5.gif.a0c1fb94711420ab61914b4bdc89eadb.gif

Did a poet tell you that

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