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Business / corporate speak nonsense

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A game I sometimes like to play is Chinese polysyllabics - use an obscure word and see how long it takes for  one of the big bosses to parrot it back.
A while back I called a task Sisyphean in nature during a meeting - within a couple of weeks it was the buzzword du jour amongst the higher echelons of management which was all the funnier because I'd told folk up front I was going to get them using it.
I used the term surfeit on a presentation recently. That word keeps cropping up in speak and emails now.

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Not quite the same, but there’s a certain “type” of AA member that attend meetings I also attend that seem determined to use “big words” (and some hilarious derivatives).
Today I heard “vexatious” several times as well as “consciousnessly”

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Not quite the same, but there’s a certain “type” of AA member that attend meetings I also attend that seem determined to use “big words” (and some hilarious derivatives).

Today I heard “vexatious” several times as well as “consciousnessly”

Is that not just an American thing? The Americans are the worst at my work. Use words like that all the time. You then ask them whats the capital of France, and their fucking clueless.

Compensation mechanism imo.

 

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40 minutes ago, John Lambies Doos said:

Is that not just an American thing? The Americans are the worst at my work. Use words like that all the time. You then ask them whats the capital of France, and their fucking clueless.

188122808-thumb_IronyMeter.gif

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Not quite the same, but there’s a certain “type” of AA member that attend meetings I also attend that seem determined to use “big words” (and some hilarious derivatives).
Today I heard “vexatious” several times as well as “consciousnessly”
Kincardine?

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I once had a project manager who would say things like "OK we'll descope that until the next delivery" instead of "OK we'll do that later".

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Is it f**k, it's 'we'll take it offline'

Fair enough, keep your ears peeled for ‘off table’ though. I’ve heard it three times on the last fortnight. Nice to be ahead of the game.

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Fair enough, keep your ears peeled for ‘off table’ though. I’ve heard it three times on the last fortnight. Nice to be ahead of the game.
No worries. Bubbling up is a new one I'm hearing this week. Apparently it means summarising??

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22 hours ago, John Lambies Doos said:
On 07/05/2019 at 21:05, Hillonearth said:
A game I sometimes like to play is Chinese polysyllabics - use an obscure word and see how long it takes for  one of the big bosses to parrot it back.
A while back I called a task Sisyphean in nature during a meeting - within a couple of weeks it was the buzzword du jour amongst the higher echelons of management which was all the funnier because I'd told folk up front I was going to get them using it.

I used the term surfeit on a presentation recently. That word keeps cropping up in speak and emails now.

Hardly an outlandish word though , is it ? 

A bit like claiming you influenced the management to use the word “profits” as part of their corporate/business jargon.

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Hardly an outlandish word though , is it ? 
A bit like claiming you influenced the management to use the word “profits” as part of their corporate/business jargon.
Slightly less common than profits

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8 hours ago, John Lambies Doos said:

No worries. Bubbling up is a new one I'm hearing this week. Apparently it means summarising??

Does it? I thought it just meant letting somebody more senior know about something which may or may not require their attention at some point. I think I've been using it wrong. :) 

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Does it? I thought it just meant letting somebody more senior know about something which may or may not require their attention at some point. I think I've been using it wrong.  

Is that not escalating?

Either way it definitely means cuntish bullshit

 

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No worries. Bubbling up is a new one I'm hearing this week. Apparently it means summarising??
I saw somebody post on Twitter about it, and it was a quote from an email among the lines of "I just wanted to bubble this to the top of your inbox."

Kill them. Kill them all.

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Quote

The Principal Service Designer will drive user-centred practice through project delivery and capability uplift approaches . The role will ensure that projects fully capture the user experience through analysis and application of a broad array of tools and methods to identify opportunities for improvement. There is also a requirement to manage complex stakeholder environments and provide project lead and advisory services to cross-functional teams in dynamic environments. This is a great opportunity to drive engagement with  clients to design and improve our services.

I could do that. Gis a job.

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On 15/06/2019 at 09:34, peasy23 said:

 "I just wanted to bubble this to the top of your inbox."

I would try that one on a female colleague however I fear a slap round the chops.

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Oh my are you lot in for a treat. Company I work for are embarking on a 3 month training programme. Everyone has to do a 15 minute training exercise every week. This week's is on Our Strategy.

We're all floating adrift in the Sea of Strategy. We need to look in our Action Pack for something to help. Aha, the Role Raft will help us reach the Strategic Success Sailboat. The Change Compass will help us align our goals to those of the Company.

No, I'm not making this up!

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6 hours ago, Swarley said:

Oh my are you lot in for a treat. Company I work for are embarking on a 3 month training programme. Everyone has to do a 15 minute training exercise every week. This week's is on Our Strategy.

We're all floating adrift in the Sea of Strategy. We need to look in our Action Pack for something to help. Aha, the Role Raft will help us reach the Strategic Success Sailboat. The Change Compass will help us align our goals to those of the Company.

No, I'm not making this up!

Excuse me while I tie Concrete Block of Escape around my ankles and jump overboard.

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