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Business / corporate speak nonsense

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On ‎04‎/‎04‎/‎2019 at 18:14, D.A.F.C said:

Don’t forget the laser pen, in case people don’t understand that words mean words.

Does PowerPoint have a bouncy ball option similar to sing-a-along songs?

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9 minutes ago, Fullerene said:

Does PowerPoint have a bouncy ball option similar to sing-a-along songs?

I once attended a talk by a prominent professor in my field who had travelled all the way from Australia to my work to speak to us.

He had a Powerpoint with pictures and words along the bottom and the bouncy ball thing was in full effect.  He had even had audio of him speaking the words, even though he was standing in the room at the time.  

Baffling stuff from the Ozzy.

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1 hour ago, Fullerene said:

This reminds me of colleague who was definitely a "word of the week" kind of person.

One week, his favourite word was "dovetail".

"It is important that for us to be a solid, dependable and effective supplier that we can dutifully dovetail our services to match the requirements of our customers."

.. but of course, how could I ever have thought otherwise

If it had stopped there fine but it did not.  Later on, we were talking about football and I asked why a manager might substitute a striker for defender or the other way around instead of just like for like.

Guess what.

"Sometimes it is necessary to change the structure of the team on the park but then the new player has to be able to dovetail into the structure that is already there apart from the player being replaced."

I doubt you could talk to him about the weather, or anything else, without him using his word of the week.

 

Sometimes it is necessary for the clouds to dovetail with the wind in order for the rain to fall elsewhere.

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4 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

Sometimes it is necessary for the clouds to dovetail with the wind in order for the rain to fall elsewhere.

Thank you for this reply.  It was able to effectively dovetail into point I was making.

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17 hours ago, Fullerene said:

Thank you for this reply.  It was able to effectively dovetail into point I was making.

Sometimes it is necessary for a boot to dovetail with a pie to get a point across.

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Sometimes it is necessary for a boot to dovetail with a pie to get a point across.
Yo dawg I heard you like dovetail so I dovetailed your dovetail so you can dovetail while you dovetail.

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can anyone think of a descriptive word to explain the very neat and quite deliberate way in which the tail feathers of a dove are seamlessly joined to the arse-end of same dove ?

Edited by Herman Hessian

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2 minutes ago, Herman Hessian said:

can anyone think of a descriptive word to explain the very neat and quite deliberate way in white the tail feathers of a dove are seamlessly joined to the arse-end of same dove ?

Dove End?

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18 hours ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

Stupid question this but do doves actually have tails?

Actually maybe not so stupid.

Cats have tails and so do monkeys.  Have I seen anything similar on a dove?  Can't say I have.  Maybe I am missing something.

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The high heidyins at work have coined the phrase 'The love hour'. I assumed this was a joke but apparently relates to the extra unpaid hour you should be happy to work due to your admiration for the company. He actually managed to say it with a straight face - utterly astonishing. 

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5 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

The high heidyins at work have coined the phrase 'The love hour'. I assumed this was a joke but apparently relates to the extra unpaid hour you should be happy to work due to your admiration for the company. He actually managed to say it with a straight face - utterly astonishing. 

I’ll bet you though they meant the time you spend posting pictures of milfy slags sitting on their coffeee table.

(I said sitting).

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4 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

I’ll bet you though they meant the time you spend posting pictures of milfy slags sitting on their coffeee table.

(I said sitting).

Sounds like said milf has broken it and is falling through it. 

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On 5/9/2019 at 15:02, Margaret Thatcher said:

Stupid question this but do doves actually have tails?

I've never understood why they picked the dove for that expression - they've got pretty regular tails as birds go. Could just as easy be sparrow or gulltail.

Or indeed rough-faced shag tail, which would get my vote.

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Also referenced in one of the less-vaunted cuts off the White Album:

Fixing a hole in the ocean
Trying to make a dove-tail joint, yeah
Looking through a glass onion

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