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Business / corporate speak nonsense

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5 hours ago, Bully Wee Villa said:

Aston Villa’s Chief Commercial Officer, Luke Organ said, “Aston Villa Football Club is proud to pioneer an exciting new tripartite technical kit partnership".

 

I think it means we are going to have new tops.

 

 

Maybe going one step further than Accies and having different makers for the tops, shorts and socks?

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19 hours ago, Bully Wee Villa said:

Aston Villa’s Chief Commercial Officer, Luke Organ said, “Aston Villa Football Club is proud to pioneer an exciting new tripartite technical kit partnership".

 

I think it means we are going to have new tops.

 

 

 

13 hours ago, Fullerene said:

Actually tripartite indicates "three of .."

Presumably top, pair of shorts and one sock.  Hmmm,.  Not sure what the words is for "Four of .. "

It some nonsense about the designer (Luke Roper - apparently a designer and fellow Villian) and the manufacturer (Fanatics) being seperate.

So they two parts and Aston Villa the third.

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They can get in the fucking sea where they belong.
It was the swat team in 2014...

I got voted in as a shop steward last year and it's been an eye opener in terms of naff sayings.

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It was the swat team in 2014...

I got voted in as a shop steward last year and it's been an eye opener in terms of naff sayings.
Did a stint as shop steward a good few years back. We had a dispute where they brought in another manager to try and resolve it. His intro at the first meeting was

"I've been parachuted in here to try and arrange a compromise solution."

Which was answered with a retort of

"Who do you think you are? Rudolf fucking Hess?"

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'Matrix'

'Right to left thinking'

'Reaching out'

All a load of corporate bollocks.

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In a meeting with serious civil service types and the whole fackin thing was a stack of acronyms and several references to "upstreaming" whatever that is.

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17 minutes ago, Hampden Diehard said:

In a meeting with serious civil service types and the whole fackin thing was a stack of acronyms and several references to "upstreaming" whatever that is.

It's seeing who can pish the highest.

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My place has a new “Visible leadership Team”.

Yes, folks they go by the VL Team complete with VL mailbox.

It’s rarely been more apt.

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One that is particularly getting on my tits recently.

When we have a project that consists of multiple parts that require the same or similar approach. They are described as “cookie cutter” approaches.

Heard it a few times today and needed to vent.

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52 minutes ago, bennett said:

 

Actually on and off the pitch things are normalising, the last few years have been mostly positive.

 

 

See the source image

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This is what happens when you start a comms job and accidentally wander into the Looney Brain Butcher Doctor's Surgery at lunchtime instead of Pret A Manger:

 

Quote

Together we continue to explore areas of potential expansion for both strategic and operational synergies

 

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Moist with excitement ... 


 

Quote

HMS Queen Elizabeth has sailed from Portsmouth to begin a period of shakedown trials after a technology insertion period.

 

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Just mag-nificent:

 

Quote

"We are delighted to have been chosen by Amwal Brokerage to provide a range of tools and services to enhance their operational efficiency. As we continue to enhance our offering to trading members to help them reduce financial and operational commitments, we look forward to onboarding more members in the near future," said Tariq bin Hendi, Executive Vice President and Head of Wealth Products and Advisory for Retail Banking and Wealth Management, Emirates NBD Group.

 

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2 hours ago, Dr Koop said:

Just mag-nificent:

giphy.webp

Edited by banana

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57 minutes ago, Dr Koop said:

Just mag-nificent:

 

 

Translation; we're been hired to sack a load of low level employees so that those at the top won't have their bonuses reduced

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And making my day today is learning that a company has ...

 

Quote

delivered measurable results to date

 

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Another contribution ...

 

Quote

Please find attached a press release titled 'Smart Solutions & Services Authority and Algorythma sign a memorandum of understanding to foster collaboration in innovation and technology' for your review.

I'm guessing it's actually the title of the next Carcass LP.

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