jock001 Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 This is actually sensible though. Or rather talking about EFEs or EFTEs is. With part time working, compressed weeks etc, having 5 people may only mean having 3 EFEs. What's sensible about taking one word 'personell' which clearly refers to human beings and changing it to 'human resources' which clearly refers to corporate robots? Human resources is another term for slaves. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 http://www.buzzwords4u.co.uk/ Let's throw all the ideas into the proverbial wok and see if we get ourselves a stir fry What we need here is a harmonised business process landscape It's about time you people started eating some reality sandwiches. Perhaps we can then think about parking our cars in the same garage 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Half Rice Half Chips Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 What's sensible about taking one word 'personell' which clearly refers to human beings and changing it to 'human resources' which clearly refers to corporate robots? Human resources is another term for slaves. My boss told me the other day I'm going to get a "resource" assigned to me. I just hope this "resource" has big tits. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 My boss told me the other day I'm going to get a "resource" assigned to me. Clay? Ore? Stone? Wood? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 My boss told me the other day I'm going to get a "resource" assigned to me. I just hope this "resource" has big tits. Clay? Ore? Stone? Wood? If he gets his wished for big tits, it'll be wood. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seymour Skinner Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 Not really corporate speak but my boss can't seem to pronounce "gist" properly. She pronounces the "g" like you would if you were saying "gargle" or "good". It was funny a at first but now it drives me up the wall, considering she finds a way to shoehorn it into every conversation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted September 6, 2014 Share Posted September 6, 2014 Not really corporate speak but my boss can't seem to pronounce "gist" properly. She pronounces the "g" like you would if you were saying "gargle" or "good". It was funny a at first but now it drives me up the wall, considering she finds a way to shoehorn it into every conversation. If you find here even slightly attractive you could ask where she'd like you to place your "gism"? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Not business speak as such, but some guy in the office has just printed off an email he received in error, walked to the other side of the building and handed me it, asking me if I would mind dealing with it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevie Aitken's Love Child Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 Not business speak as such, but some guy in the office has just printed off an email he received in error, walked to the other side of the building and handed me it, asking me if I would mind dealing with it. My colleague - sitting not 5 feet from me right now I might add - prints off every email that he receives before working on them. 4 years of mocking him for it hasn't changed him, so I just let him be now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SodjesSixteenIncher Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 What we need here is a harmonised business process landscape Sounds like Better Together's devolution plans. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barrfields_Largs Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 "Fill in your branch in the communication tree" HUMAN TRANSLATION: "What's your phone number?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nelsjfc Posted September 10, 2014 Share Posted September 10, 2014 I think the printing thing is a generational divide. Most my office do it, but I'm the youngest by some distance. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchapsticks Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Our work has recently proposed a 'works social club', with such 'fun' activities as bowling, scavenger hunts, whisky tasting and murder mystery nights. I reckon almost everyone who works the production side has told them to ram it whilst the office folk are all over it, due to their lack of current social lives. Now I'm all for going out and getting pished with the boys I work with, but I've not a single desire to be lumped into a club with a bunch of folk who won't give you a second glance in the workplace if you don't wear a shirt and tie, despite the fact that around 80% of those who do are absolutely blagging their way through their jobs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchapsticks Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 (edited) In fact, I've come to the conclusion that the vast majority of people in these positions of power, don't actually know what they are doing. They almost literally work in circles until the end of the day then do it all again. Very little, if anything, actually seems to get done. We had a gaffer in work a few years back, rough as a badgers arse he was, but he would talk to you straight and didn't mess about. He got stuff done effectively and efficiently, but he ended up bagged as one of the team leaders who worked under him (who ironically is the biggest bully in the place to their own staff) accused him of bullying because they couldn't handle being chewed out for being incompetent. His style of management, while brash, wasn't offensive, he'd tell you straight and be cool with you right after. As in no personal grudges. This apparently didn't fall in line with our company 'values' (ugh) and he was quietly punted for a guy with no discernible backbone whatsoever. Edited September 11, 2014 by djchapsticks 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 One of the great curtain-revealers for me was post-uni, first few years in jobs, realising that a huge number of colleagues weren't the professional experts I had imagined they'd be and that most were making it up as they went along. All the way up the chain, its folk bumbling along doing their best (or not) to deal with uncertainty and lack of know-how, time and money. More recently I've realised that this goes for much of everything in the world. Which is why its so refreshing when you do get to meet and work with an actual expert in something who utterly knows their shit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 I received an email by fax quite recently. Dicks. Fax's are surely redundant now. We have a fax machine in here which does the ridiculous dial up noises every time we send/receive one. Why anyone wouldn't just scan it in an email I don't know. We get calls all the time with guys saying "I sent a fax, did you get it?", just send it in an email and it'll tell you if I've it's not been delivered, you auld dick. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 (edited) Fax's are surely redundant now.Think again...http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-19045837 Edited September 11, 2014 by banana 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 The US military still uses systems which use floppy disks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SenioR Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 .. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 I received an email by fax quite recently. Dicks. Fucking amateurs. Type it up on the PC, print, place on wooden table, take photo, print the photo, scan the photo, upload to the company website. It's the only way to be sure. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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