Boghead ranter Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 I was sent a weblink for an important company update today. I think it says it all that when I opened it, google translate offered to translate it into English. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 We now have an Agora in our department, whatever the f**k that is. We have gone through our "systems thinking journey". Also had a load of values fired at us. "Kill complexity". Aye, ok. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 (edited) Heh. We flirted with Systems Thinking in our work, although never embarked on a journey thankfully. As with many corporate fads, it had a kernel of useful stuff wrapped up in a hard shell of gobbledygook. Edit. That last sentence sounds like corporate bullshit too. Edited June 27, 2014 by Cardinal Richelieu 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 We now have an Agora in our department, whatever the f**k that is. We have gone through our "systems thinking journey". Also had a load of values fired at us. "Kill complexity". Aye, ok. I got asked what that meant to me, I replied by shrugging my shoulders and mumbling about it being the correct course of action. You don't half hear some pish in there like 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Koop Posted July 10, 2014 Share Posted July 10, 2014 Scrabble board up in the air with this fine offering from Simbiotik, which deals in 'brand and proposition' salience and is quoted in the latest Private Eye."Simply, we facilitate the deliberate linking of two, or more, organisations to create a composite return that has greater value than where the brands operate in isolation. 2 + 2 = 6 being our goal."We focus partnership proposition on achieving a single key motivational driver with the subsidiary benefits of a relationship considered valuable and positive by-products with their own KPI's (planned but not focal).""Who wrote that? Own up." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 From a Windows spokesman - The firm also confirmed it had recently scrapped a new type of tablet. "During the quarter, we reassessed our product roadmap and decided not to ship a new form factor that was under development," said Amy Hood, the firm's chief financial officer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gareth_Glasgow Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Weird Al's new video seems appropriate here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 Just had a notification from some group in Linkedin imploring me to become a "follow througher". I've no idea what it is, but on the surface, it's explaining the benefits of shitting yourself. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 My boss in my new job uses 'We're not trying to reinvent the wheel here' at least once a day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 My boss in my new job uses 'We're not trying to reinvent the wheel here' at least once a day. You in the wheel making business? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SodjesSixteenIncher Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 My boss has taken to referring to people as "in the tent" constantly. "We need them in the tent with us", "it's our job to get him in the tent", "are they in the tent with us yet?" Me in team meetings: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheScarf Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 You in the wheel making business? No m8. I wouldn't dream of trying to reinvent what, IMO, is already absolutely perfect. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zetterlund Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 No m8. I wouldn't dream of trying to reinvent what, IMO, is already absolutely perfect. I'm sure we all thought the same about footballs, but every 4 years it seems someone makes them a bit more round. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 That's the exact face I pulled when I tried to be a follow througher. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 I recently received a powerpoint from a project manager which on one slide advised us that dates were both "moving out" and "moving to the right". i had to ask him about his aversion to the word "later". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 This is stating the obvious I know but anyone who genuinely uses 'business/corporate speak' is not to be trusted at any point ever. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xaviermaw Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 My wife just started some management type gig at the Government, not long in showed me an email that went: The CLP needs to support the ALR for the DIP. I told her to respond WTF? GTF But she didn't. English, motherfuckers! Do you speak it?! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 (edited) My boss has taken to referring to people as "in the tent" constantly. "We need them in the tent with us", "it's our job to get him in the tent", "are they in the tent with us yet?" Me in team meetings: Cant help reading those words in the voice of Dougal from Father Ted. Are we in the tent yet Ted? Not yet Dougal. Edited July 31, 2014 by DAFC 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_Stewart Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 I'm just out of a meeting, generally most people in my office finish about half four. Some finance middle-management dork was asked to provide some figures, his real-life, actual response was "I've got to go and pick up the kids, so if you don't mind we'll just park that for now and review it when the sun comes out". park that for now and review it when the sun comes out park that for now and review it when the sun comes out park that for now and review it when the sun comes out park that for now and review it when the sun comes out WHAT??? That might be the worst thing I have ever heard in my entire life. I'm the furthest away from a violent or angry man you'll ever meet, but I genuinely wanted to staple this gorps throat shut. What is wrong with these c***s? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J_Stewart Posted September 2, 2014 Share Posted September 2, 2014 What is even more disappointing is the fact that he has reproduced. Indeed. The children are more than likely to be horrible, entitled, daddy's little angel, oil brats as well. Disgusting! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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