Business / corporate speak nonsense

[Sergeant Wilson]

I'm incompetent but don't care, because fortunately I have no values.

[Swarley]

In a meeting with our German Head Office earlier we were told there was a need to put the elephant on the table and carve it up. 

I don't work in a zoo, nor an abbatoir so I've no idea what she meant. 

[Florentine_Pogen]

13 minutes ago, Swarley said:

In a meeting with our German Head Office earlier we were told there was a need to put the elephant on the table and carve it up. 

I don't work in a zoo, nor an abbatoir so I've no idea what she meant. 

I hope they don't buy their tables at IKEA.

[hk blues]

15 minutes ago, Swarley said:

In a meeting with our German Head Office earlier we were told there was a need to put the elephant on the table and carve it up. 

I don't work in a zoo, nor an abbatoir so I've no idea what she meant. 

I suppose that's the follow-up to the elephant in the room saying. Maybe.

[TxRover]

1 hour ago, Swarley said:

In a meeting with our German Head Office earlier we were told there was a need to put the elephant on the table and carve it up. 

I don't work in a zoo, nor an abbatoir so I've no idea what she meant. 

 

1 hour ago, hk blues said:

I suppose that's the follow-up to the elephant in the room saying. Maybe.

Maybe they want a trunk line?

Either way, report them for racism, cause it’s either an Asian or African elephant.

[hk blues]

18 hours ago, TxRover said:

 

Maybe they want a trunk line?

Either way, report them for racism, cause it’s either an Asian or African elephant.

Tusk, tusk!

[Swarley]

19 hours ago, hk blues said:

I suppose that's the follow-up to the elephant in the room saying. Maybe.

Unsure, have never heard that one before.

[hk blues]

Just now, Swarley said:

Unsure, have never heard that one before.

I actually checked - it is a follow up to the elephant in the room idiom.  Basically means facing the issue head on. 

[Hedgecutter]

It would seem that when dealing with some Canadian companies via video link, people in high managerial positions will kick off the meeting with "before we start, we need to acknowledge that our office sits on land previously occupied by Native American Tribe D in area CH43..."

Perhaps Scottish companies should do the same? "The day's meeting is brought to you from an industrial estate built on farmland previously owned by Willie McPhee prior to pressure from the local authorities"

Edited March 3, 2023 by Hedgecutter

[Swarley]

2 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

It would seem that when dealing with some Canadian companies via video link, people in high managerial positions will kick off the meeting with "before we start, we need to acknowledge that our office sits on land previously occupied by Native American Tribe D in area CH43..."

Perhaps Scottish companies should do the same? "The day's meeting is brought to you from an industrial estate built on farmland previously owned by Willie McPhee prior to pressure from the local authorities"

We do the same in Australia. Acknowledge the traditional owners of the lands on which we're meeting etc etc. 

[Sergeant Wilson]

59 minutes ago, Swarley said:

We do the same in Australia. Acknowledge the traditional owners of the lands on which we're meeting etc etc. 

That's big of you. Can they have it back?

[TxRover]

3 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

It would seem that when dealing with some Canadian companies via video link, people in high managerial positions will kick off the meeting with "before we start, we need to acknowledge that our office sits on land previously occupied by Native American Tribe D in area CH43..."

Perhaps Scottish companies should do the same? "The day's meeting is brought to you from an industrial estate built on farmland previously owned by Willie McPhee prior to pressure from the local authorities"

 

1 hour ago, Swarley said:

We do the same in Australia. Acknowledge the traditional owners of the lands on which we're meeting etc etc. 

Oh Lordy, that would be worth the foaming at the mouth it would cause in the U.S.

28 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

That's big of you. Can they have it back?

Nah.

[Loonytoons]

40 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

That's big of you. Can they have it back?

It does seem rather like another slap in the face to the indigenous people.

[Swarley]

15 hours ago, Loonytoons said:

It does seem rather like another slap in the face to the indigenous people.

Not really, it's promoted by First Nations people. It's something that's become more common in the last couple of years. Of course there are those on the far right side of the fence who are against it but those people are racist cnuts and are generally ignored. 

https://www.indigenous.gov.au/contact-us/welcome_acknowledgement-country

[Eednud]

2 hours ago, Swarley said:

Not really, it's promoted by First Nations people. It's something that's become more common in the last couple of years. Of course there are those on the far right side of the fence who are against it but those people are racist cnuts and are generally ignored. 

https://www.indigenous.gov.au/contact-us/welcome_acknowledgement-country

How it supposedly came about.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/feb/23/ernie-dingo-and-richard-walley-on-the-40th-year-of-their-welcome-to-country

['WellDel]

On 03/03/2023 at 08:20, Hedgecutter said:

It would seem that when dealing with some Canadian companies via video link, people in high managerial positions will kick off the meeting with "before we start, we need to acknowledge that our office sits on land previously occupied by Native American Tribe D in area CH43..."

Perhaps Scottish companies should do the same? "The day's meeting is brought to you from an industrial estate built on farmland previously owned by Willie McPhee prior to pressure from the local authorities"

"Before we announce today's teams, we need to acknowledge the game will be played on land previously occupied by Weegie Tribe Rangers FC of area G51, prior to their collapse and subsequent death due to monies owed to Her Maj...".

[Melanius Mullarkey]

I’ve been invited to some lunchtime sessions over the coming weeks. I’ve just been informed that these are “similar to a brown bag session”.

Im taking buckfast with me.

[Sergeant Wilson]

44 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

I’ve been invited to some lunchtime sessions over the coming weeks. I’ve just been informed that these are “similar to a brown bag session”.

Im taking buckfast with me.

You've changed!

I don't go to anything, especially if it's called a session, scrum, or any other made up name. Even when I'm supposed to, never mind fucking lunchtime.

[Swarley]

12 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

You've changed!

I don't go to anything, especially if it's called a session, scrum, or any other made up name. Even when I'm supposed to, never mind fucking lunchtime.

Thankfully have never worked on an Agile project but aren't scrums and all their other made up pish compulsory? 

[TxRover]

15 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

I’ve been invited to some lunchtime sessions over the coming weeks. I’ve just been informed that these are “similar to a brown bag session”.

Im taking buckfast with me.

The answer is salmon. Keep it chilled with an ice pack in a container, then microwave it in the microwave located closest to this “session” and then tote it in and chow down. If the smell doesn’t disrupt this “session”, you’re not doing it right.