Thorongil Posted June 21, 2022 Share Posted June 21, 2022 6 minutes ago, UsedToGoToCentralPark said: 3 hours ago, Thorongil said: What are the views here on Management Consultancy? Having worked for a MC firm and having been in multiple businesses that have used such firms, I am forced to conclude the whole thing is a massive, massive scam. I would trust a big 4 accountancy firm or to do my accounts or audit them, but to provide advice to businesses on how to run their businesses? Absolutely not. They charge an absolute fortune for absolute garbage and cannot land straightforward projects. Same with your Gartners and Accentures of this world. The emperor truly has no clothes at all. It’s a massive confidence trick, and I do not believe it will ever change. You'd be a well to just watch office space. Good film. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted June 30, 2022 Share Posted June 30, 2022 I heard some one being asked to "touch base" today. Maybe not the worst expression but hearing it live from the smarmy wee cuñt was vomit inducing. He was also dressed like he was going to a wedding in a virtually deserted office with no public access. p***k! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted July 1, 2022 Share Posted July 1, 2022 I heard a lad (member of the public) in a leisure centre talking to a member of staff yesterday start a sentence with "Oh and just FYI....." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 A new one for me today. Tentpole moments. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon EF Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 32 minutes ago, Darren said: A new one for me today. Tentpole moments. Is that when you accidentally get an erection in a meeting? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 1 hour ago, Gordon EF said: Is that when you accidentally get an erection in a meeting? You're thinking of tentpeg not tentpole........... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 2 hours ago, Darren said: A new one for me today. Tentpole moments. Were you faced with the swords of a thousand men? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mishtergrolsch Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 Handed my notice last month in and start my new job on Monday. I got an email from my manager asking why I was leaving. "We are sorry to hear you have decided to terminate your employment and would like to gain some feedback as to why you have made this decision. Please find attached a Decision Document for any comments you would like to make. We wish you well in your future." Nah. Yer alright. <Delete> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 9 minutes ago, mishtergrolsch said: Handed my notice last month in and start my new job on Monday. I got an email from my manager asking why I was leaving. "We are sorry to hear you have decided to terminate your employment and would like to gain some feedback as to why you have made this decision. Please find attached a Decision Document for any comments you would like to make. We wish you well in your future." Nah. Yer alright. <Delete> I read that as Derision Document, which may well be more accurate as your reason for laeving. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mishtergrolsch Posted August 5, 2022 Share Posted August 5, 2022 Just now, Florentine_Pogen said: I read that as Derision Document, which may well be more accurate as your reason for laeving. Thats what it would have turned in to. Was very tempted. "My manager is an utter buffoon. Was appointed a year ago and still has no idea what to do or how to manage. Other departments laugh at her and openly ask who was on the interview panel that day" etc. Didn't waste my time tbh. Leaving with my dignity and reputation intact but my mental health in tatters! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halbeath Raith Rover Posted August 11, 2022 Share Posted August 11, 2022 Heard the term "rehydrating data" in reference to correcting info in credit searches, at work the other day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted August 13, 2022 Share Posted August 13, 2022 Sigh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted August 13, 2022 Share Posted August 13, 2022 8 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Sigh. The last one is puzzling me. Do you work in one of those bitcoin mines? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishBhoy Posted August 14, 2022 Share Posted August 14, 2022 My manager describing any problems we encounter as ‘a showstopper’. Me - ‘Alright mate there’s an electrical fault showing on one of the panels what do you want us to do?’ Manager - ‘Is it a showstopper?’ Drives me mental. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loonytoons Posted August 15, 2022 Share Posted August 15, 2022 Talent Acquisition Team is now a thing at my work.HR to normal people. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted August 15, 2022 Share Posted August 15, 2022 41 minutes ago, Loonytoons said: Talent Acquisition Team is now a thing at my work. HR to normal people. Ah but do you have Global Talent Acquisition like we do? Spoiler HR looking to employ folk from outside Scotland. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted August 15, 2022 Share Posted August 15, 2022 On 13/08/2022 at 01:49, Hedgecutter said: Sigh. Sir Isaac Newton told us why, an apple falls down from the sky; and from this fact it’s very plain, all other objects do the same, A brick, a bar, a bolt, a cup, invariably fall down not up; and every common working tool is governed by the self-same rule. So if at work you drop a spanner, it travels in a downward manner. At work, a fifth of accidents and more celebrate old Newtons law. It’s better to be safe than dead, so get a hat and keep your head. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK Hibee Posted August 16, 2022 Share Posted August 16, 2022 Our sales meeting this morning threw up a couple of new ones ”let’s get started, we have a lot of wood to chop” “we are helping with their resource demand elasticity” 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren Posted August 16, 2022 Share Posted August 16, 2022 On 15/08/2022 at 12:19, Loonytoons said: Talent Acquisition Team is now a thing at my work. HR to normal people. Pretty sure we have a talent director, who certainly has a talent for directing useless fuckers into our work. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted August 16, 2022 Share Posted August 16, 2022 1 hour ago, HK Hibee said: Our sales meeting this morning threw up a couple of new ones ”let’s get started, we have a lot of wood to chop” As soon as I saw this, an image of BawJaws Johnson came to mind, it's exactly the sort of nonsensical bullshit he'd spout. Ugh.................. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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