Swarley Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 Felt a wee bit bad last week – was called into a meeting with a couple of bosses. I know both of them well, so naturally I greeted them with a “alright bitches?” as I walked in. Turns out they’d called me in to tell me they’d negotiated a bonus for me for a project I’d completed a couple of months back.So naturally you jumped on your chair, shouted "BONUS BITCHES", and chest bumped them? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmy boo Posted December 19, 2019 Share Posted December 19, 2019 Overheard a conversation on the train today and a guy talking loudly into his phone (Bob Mortimer style) demanding the ‘granular detail of the logistics plan’ before he would give the go ahead apparently. Seems they were moving a couple of old office tables and a few knackered chairs, from one room to a store. What the f**k does that even mean? Do people actually get paid for coming up with this nonsense? Aye I know, c*nts on a train thread for this pish! What did you do? I'd be inclined to laugh in his face. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 8 hours ago, jimmy boo said: 11 hours ago, Clockwork said: Overheard a conversation on the train today and a guy talking loudly into his phone (Bob Mortimer style) demanding the ‘granular detail of the logistics plan’ before he would give the go ahead apparently. Seems they were moving a couple of old office tables and a few knackered chairs, from one room to a store. What the f**k does that even mean? Do people actually get paid for coming up with this nonsense? Aye I know, c*nts on a train thread for this pish! What did you do? I'd be inclined to laugh in his face. Hopefully shouted "c***s on a train thread for this pish" 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clockwork Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 What did you do? I'd be inclined to laugh in his face.Stuck my headphones on and just stared out of the window, seething at the world! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted December 20, 2019 Share Posted December 20, 2019 Stuck my headphones on and just stared out of the window, seething at the world! That was your first mistake, headphones should be firmly in place before boarding the train. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 31 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes. I believe the formal term is "bunch of files". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theroadlesstravelled Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 43 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes. Concrete it over. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 7 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: "bunch of files". The boy looks like he should be on the list (beard especially). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes. When I have shown my knowledge about a specific subject people have described me as "a natural reservoir of information". I guess "data lake" is similar. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes. Voice inside my head when I hear shit like this....... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Academically Deficient Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 4 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes. A friend works for a company that encourages its employees to take "thought showers". "Geoff, I'm going to the data lake for a thought shower". Hope they f****** drown in it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon EF Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 7 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes. The term for a data lake that isn't well maintained is, genuinely... a data swamp. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 2 hours ago, Academically Deficient said: A friend works for a company that encourages its employees to take "thought showers". "Geoff, I'm going to the data lake for a thought shower". Hope they f****** drown in it. He's lucky. A lot of companies just give their employees golden showers. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon EF Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 "Value proposition" seems to be the new in phrase at my work. Used exclusively in the context of 'our product isn't worth buying right now but might be some day'. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 7 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Currently in a Teams meeting and some c**t keeps going on about data lakes. Tell him it's a data loch in Scotland. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mishtergrolsch Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 Had a spat with my boss about holidays. Asked if I could book some time and he refused saying we were too busy. This meant i would have lost holidays this year. Emailed HR and they were banging on about problematic "pinch points" in the business. Ffs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 13 minutes ago, mishtergrolsch said: Had a spat with my boss about holidays. Asked if I could book some time and he refused saying we were too busy. This meant i would have lost holidays this year. Emailed HR and they were banging on about problematic "pinch points" in the business. Ffs. "Oh no, I seem to be getting a persistent cough and a temperature. I'd better self isolate for 14 days" How's that for a pinch point, cuntos? P.s. best not to post any holiday pics on social media if you pull that one... 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mishtergrolsch Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 2 minutes ago, tamthebam said: "Oh no, I seem to be getting a persistent cough and a temperature. I'd better self isolate for 14 days" How's that for a pinch point, cuntos? P.s. best not to post any holiday pics on social media if you pull that one... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 (edited) "Let's not try to compare the height of the tallest midget here" - the words of a CEO of a large oil company during this afternoon's 'town-hall' meeting. After the meeting? Lots of comments involving midgets, quickly followed by a second meeting featuring the aforementioned CEO's grovelling apology to avoid offending the Bairnardos of this world. Edited October 2, 2020 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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