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Business / corporate speak nonsense


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  • 3 months later...
  • 3 weeks later...

referring to folk you do not know as 'colleagues' in unsolicited marketing material

i am not your colleague; we do not work at the same company, in the same building, in the same town or - entirely probably - not even in the same country; even in this glorious epoch of the global office  I am not your colleague in any way, shape, manner or fucking form; 

for future reference, I am a miserable old twat and you are a c**t

thanks for getting in touch...

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11 minutes ago, Herman Hessian said:

referring to folk you do not know as 'colleagues' in unsolicited marketing material

i am not your colleague; we do not work at the same company, in the same building, in the same town or - entirely probably - not even in the same country; even in this glorious epoch of the global office  I am not your colleague in any way, shape, manner or fucking form; 

for future reference, I am a miserable old twat and you are a c**t

thanks for getting in touch...

I like to think we are all P&B colleagues.

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In my job I work the now I work nights as it allows me to go to uni during the day and get more family time.

I was acting assistant manager for a while, and my general go to speech was “I’ll get back to you” after about two weeks of this folk worked out I had no intention of getting back to them, and nor did I.

This wasn’t out of arseholry, I didn’t want the job and came in one day and was told I was the acting assistant manager with a view to permanent appointment. When the three months were up I said I didn’t want interviewed for it and wanted to go back to my old post.

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5 minutes ago, Swarley said:

Awright Troops

 

Felt a wee bit bad last week – was called into a meeting with a couple of bosses. I know both of them well, so naturally I greeted them with a “alright bitches?” as I walked in.

Turns out they’d called me in to tell me they’d negotiated a bonus for me for a project I’d completed a couple of months back.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Overheard a conversation on the train today and a guy talking loudly into his phone (Bob Mortimer style) demanding the ‘granular detail of the logistics plan’ before he would give the go ahead apparently. Seems they were moving a couple of old office tables and a few knackered chairs, from one room to a store. What the f**k does that even mean? Do people actually get paid for coming up with this nonsense?

Aye I know, c*nts on a train thread for this pish!

 

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