Business / corporate speak nonsense

[Fullerene]

4 hours ago, Jacksgranda said:

Sometimes it is necessary for the clouds to dovetail with the wind in order for the rain to fall elsewhere.

Thank you for this reply.  It was able to effectively dovetail into point I was making.

[Mark Connolly]

17 hours ago, Fullerene said:

Thank you for this reply.  It was able to effectively dovetail into point I was making.

Sometimes it is necessary for a boot to dovetail with a pie to get a point across.

[D.A.F.C]

Sometimes it is necessary for a boot to dovetail with a pie to get a point across.

Yo dawg I heard you like dovetail so I dovetailed your dovetail so you can dovetail while you dovetail.

[Herman Hessian]

can anyone think of a descriptive word to explain the very neat and quite deliberate way in which the tail feathers of a dove are seamlessly joined to the arse-end of same dove ?

Edited May 9, 2019 by Herman Hessian

[HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows]

2 minutes ago, Herman Hessian said:

can anyone think of a descriptive word to explain the very neat and quite deliberate way in white the tail feathers of a dove are seamlessly joined to the arse-end of same dove ?

Dove End?

[Priti priti priti Patel]

Stupid question this but do doves actually have tails?

[Fullerene]

18 hours ago, Margaret Thatcher said:

Stupid question this but do doves actually have tails?

Actually maybe not so stupid.

Cats have tails and so do monkeys.  Have I seen anything similar on a dove?  Can't say I have.  Maybe I am missing something.

[johnthebaptistist]

Yes, birds do have tails. If they didn't then flight would be a very messy affair for them.

[Alert Mongoose]

The high heidyins at work have coined the phrase 'The love hour'. I assumed this was a joke but apparently relates to the extra unpaid hour you should be happy to work due to your admiration for the company. He actually managed to say it with a straight face - utterly astonishing. 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

5 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

The high heidyins at work have coined the phrase 'The love hour'. I assumed this was a joke but apparently relates to the extra unpaid hour you should be happy to work due to your admiration for the company. He actually managed to say it with a straight face - utterly astonishing. 

I’ll bet you though they meant the time you spend posting pictures of milfy slags sitting on their coffeee table.

(I said sitting).

[Alert Mongoose]

4 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

I’ll bet you though they meant the time you spend posting pictures of milfy slags sitting on their coffeee table.

(I said sitting).

Sounds like said milf has broken it and is falling through it. 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

16 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

Sounds like said milf has broken it and is falling through it. 

Pics or  gtf

[Hillonearth]

On 5/9/2019 at 15:02, Margaret Thatcher said:

Stupid question this but do doves actually have tails?

I've never understood why they picked the dove for that expression - they've got pretty regular tails as birds go. Could just as easy be sparrow or gulltail.

Or indeed rough-faced shag tail, which would get my vote.

[resk]

Also referenced in one of the less-vaunted cuts off the White Album:

Fixing a hole in the ocean
Trying to make a dove-tail joint, yeah
Looking through a glass onion

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 hour ago, MixuFixit said:

*sucks teeth* dearie me lads.

 

 

Wid?

[JoseMarooniho]

Turns out speaking about something after a meeting is going ‘off-table’.

[John Lambies Doos]

Turns out speaking about something after a meeting is going ‘off-table’.

Is it f**k, it's 'we'll take it offline'

[John Lambies Doos]

A game I sometimes like to play is Chinese polysyllabics - use an obscure word and see how long it takes for  one of the big bosses to parrot it back.
A while back I called a task Sisyphean in nature during a meeting - within a couple of weeks it was the buzzword du jour amongst the higher echelons of management which was all the funnier because I'd told folk up front I was going to get them using it.

I used the term surfeit on a presentation recently. That word keeps cropping up in speak and emails now.

[Raidernation]

Not quite the same, but there’s a certain “type” of AA member that attend meetings I also attend that seem determined to use “big words” (and some hilarious derivatives).
Today I heard “vexatious” several times as well as “consciousnessly”

[John Lambies Doos]

Not quite the same, but there’s a certain “type” of AA member that attend meetings I also attend that seem determined to use “big words” (and some hilarious derivatives).

Today I heard “vexatious” several times as well as “consciousnessly”

Is that not just an American thing? The Americans are the worst at my work. Use words like that all the time. You then ask them whats the capital of France, and their fucking clueless.

Compensation mechanism imo.