Cardinal Richelieu Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 My boss just informed our department that we need to spend less time "polishing doorknobs". Well quite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 1 minute ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: My boss just informed our department that we need to spend less time "polishing doorknobs". Well quite. Cleaner? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 3 minutes ago, hk blues said: Cleaner? Kinda. My official job title is "Doorknob Polisher", so he's left me very confused. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 6 minutes ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: Kinda. My official job title is "Doorknob Polisher", so he's left me very confused. I reckon he's trying to push you out the door! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oscar P Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 4 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said: My boss just informed our department that we need to spend less time "polishing doorknobs". Well quite. Are you sure you haven't just misheard what your boss said? 'door' can sound like 'your' in a noisy workplace. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 26 minutes ago, Oscar P said: Are you sure you haven't just misheard what your boss said? 'door' can sound like 'your' in a noisy workplace. How would his boss know what @Cardinal Richelieu was doing under his cassock? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 19 minutes ago, welshbairn said: How would his boss know what @Cardinal Richelieu was doing under his cassock? Well, God is meant to be all seeing and all knowing... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 (edited) Me to boss: "Remember I'm out the office tomorrow" Boss: "Oh, so does that mean you can't make the big kick-off meeting?" Me: "I'm afraid not" Boss: "Oh well. Doesn't really matter. You don't need to be there anyway". Me (to myself): "WELL WHY THE f**k INVITE ME TO IT THEN" Edited March 27, 2019 by Cardinal Richelieu 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 I always think instead of stopping the entire company for an hour can you not just email everyone the PowerPoint? Need to justify their existence? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Me to boss: "Remember I'm out the office tomorrow" Boss: "Oh, so does that mean you can't make the big kick-off meeting?" Me: "I'm afraid not" Boss: "Oh well. Doesn't really matter. You don't need to be there anyway". Me (to myself): "WELL WHY THE f**k INVITE ME TO IT THEN"The big kick off meeting? Square go’s at work? Time and place? I’ll let throbber and DA Baracus know. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DigOutYourSoul Posted April 3, 2019 Share Posted April 3, 2019 Not corporate nonsese but I often wonder what kind of music people are listening to when they've got their headphones in. Probably spent a little too much time thinking about it... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted April 3, 2019 Share Posted April 3, 2019 Whenever I email someone at this company it makes me think of The Rangers for some reason... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted April 3, 2019 Share Posted April 3, 2019 2 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: Whenever I email someone at this company it makes me think of The Rangers for some reason... Quote Let’s see how we can help We are analytical and results-driven. As a digital marketing agency, our role is to help you develop and maintain your online presence. Use digital to generate the leads that drive your business growth. We will listen to you and understand your business goals. Provide you with the best advice on cost-effective success in the digital landscape. Working with tp. you can expect: Expert paid search, local marketing, and social pages management. Engaging ad creative, social posting and accurate local messages. Data driven decision making and a total commitment to your business growth. For all the fancy words what matters are the results. We will agree on targets. Give you easy to understand reports. Highlight improvement opportunities. Work. at all times, to give you the best service. Let’s work to take advantage of the latest digital technological innovations. Together we can deliver a great experience for your customers. I'd say you're in the right thread. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torpar Posted April 3, 2019 Share Posted April 3, 2019 Just stood through a half hour 'celebration' event as the company I work for is re-branding today, the cringe around the whole event wouldn't have been out of place in an episode of The Office. Short uplifting video - round of applause from my colleagues Speech from one of the higher ups, buzz words glory - Vision, journey, pride, values etc... - More applause Speech from another of the higher ups, clone of the above End of the presentation, we are asked to put our hands in the air and yell as loud as can "We are *new company name*!" I love living in Canada but sometimes they really do just come across as plastic Yanks 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 3, 2019 Share Posted April 3, 2019 1 minute ago, Torpar said: Just stood through a half hour 'celebration' event as the company I work for is re-branding today, the cringe around the whole event wouldn't have been out of place in an episode of The Office. Short uplifting video - round of applause from my colleagues Speech from one of the higher ups, buzz words glory - Vision, journey, pride, values etc... - More applause Speech from another of the higher ups, clone of the above End of the presentation, we are asked to put our hands in the air and yell as loud as can "We are *new company name*!" I love living in Canada but sometimes they really do just come across as plastic Yanks Sadly all that crap is well and truly on these shores too and has been for some time now. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted April 3, 2019 Share Posted April 3, 2019 4 minutes ago, Torpar said: Just stood through a half hour 'celebration' event as the company I work for is re-branding today, the cringe around the whole event wouldn't have been out of place in an episode of The Office. Short uplifting video - round of applause from my colleagues Speech from one of the higher ups, buzz words glory - Vision, journey, pride, values etc... - More applause Speech from another of the higher ups, clone of the above End of the presentation, we are asked to put our hands in the air and yell as loud as can "We are *new company name*!" I love living in Canada but sometimes they really do just come across as plastic Yanks Obviously got their inspiration from "Blazing Saddles". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted April 3, 2019 Author Share Posted April 3, 2019 T shirt sizing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 Obviously got their inspiration from "Blazing Saddles". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 19 hours ago, DigOutYourSoul said: Not corporate nonsese but I often wonder what kind of music people are listening to when they've got their headphones in. Probably spent a little too much time thinking about it... I tend to listen to a Podcast. Top tip - don't listen to Athletico Mince in a quiet workplace. Trying to explain that I'm laughing at Peter Beardsley telling a joke about a kidnapping at a school (it's alright though he woke up) to some unimpressed colleagues wasn't a proud moment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 In the Bank of Scotland call centre they said you weren’t supposed to use phrases like ‘No problem’ as both words are negative and subliminally affect the customer. A huge load of bollocks of course. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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