welshbairn Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 On 04/07/2017 at 12:20, nsr said: Is there a difference between green field thinking and blue sky thinking? You get shat on by the latter and step in it in the former. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Currently sitting on a conference call where our new company president is trying to spin the fact that a bunch of people got laid off last week. "Good companies create internal growth opportunities for their employees but they also create external growth opportunities." Losing your job is an "External growth opportunity." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 ^^^this isn't a punch to the face think of it as a hand to face appraisal 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 When you send an email to a colleague in the states asking a question and the email back starts; Thank you for reaching out to me........... I wasn't reaching out I was asking a fucking question and hoping for a straightforward answer c**t-brain. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 13 minutes ago, MEADOWXI said: When you send an email to a colleague in the states asking a question and the email back starts; Thank you for reaching out to me........... I wasn't reaching out I was asking a fucking question and hoping for a straightforward answer c**t-brain. I've lost count of the amount of times I've considered sending this to American colleagues but have shat out of it. I'll do it one day. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 24 minutes ago, Rugster said: I've lost count of the amount of times I've considered sending this to American colleagues but have shat out of it. I'll do it one day. Ha. A post deserving of your 5,000th greenie. I'm definitely going to send that out to a few choice people... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted August 11, 2017 Share Posted August 11, 2017 25 minutes ago, Rugster said: I've lost count of the amount of times I've considered sending this to American colleagues but have shat out of it. I'll do it one day. Just been set as my background screensaver 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 I had to share this incredible level of bullshit- 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 I had to share this incredible level of bullshit- That's tremendous. It's like a Top 10 of David Brent catchphrases. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 On 8/11/2017 at 05:25, Rugster said: I've lost count of the amount of times I've considered sending this to American colleagues but have shat out of it. I'll do it one day. I always have a little bit of fear when I open this thread because too often I see phrases I've been guilty of using myself. This was one of them. I haven't used it since your post appeared though and I'm proud to say that today, when someone asked if I could "Reach out to..", I responded with "Yes, I'll talk to them." A small but important step for me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 We had the most annoying, sycophantic American twat in the work. One of his many bullsh*tisms was “l’m going to be transitioning my workstation.”Translation:- He was moving to a different desk.WTF is wrong with these people? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 They are useless and hide behind gimmicky bollocks and hope nobody finds out. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 This thread makes me want to the thick of it for the w**k Stewart. “Time is a leash on the dog of ideas” 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torpar Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Our Executive VP hosted a "town hall meeting" today. Made me think someone was going to give a presentation on a Monorail. He's Irish and used the phrase "too many chiefs, not enough Indians" which lead to a few sharp intakes of breath from some of the Canadians 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Is anyone else "optimising the customer journey?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 24 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Is anyone else "optimising the customer journey?" Nah - too busy delivering optimal end user outcomes old bean. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 I don't know about anyone else, but every time I hear the phrase "We're going to have to do more with less" ends up fillling me with illicit rage. Tell yer missus to stop being so cheeky 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Richelieu Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Was interested in buying a piece of software that I need. Found a good one and was reading about its feature. One of them was its ability to "Credentialize your workforce". It goes without saying that I'm not buying their software... don't care how damned good it is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 22 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Bullshit darts, anyone? 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted November 30, 2017 Share Posted November 30, 2017 Quote Once again this year, in order to ensure our activity is focused in the right areas to achieve profitable growth, together with the ExCo, we have developed a new set of key strategic objectives for the whole organisation. These have been amended since last year taking on board all feedback. The continued unified approach to Objective setting gives us clear direction and ensures we achieve individual and collective success. The attached guide introduces the new strategic business objectives and provides information on how to set objectives this year both for Managers and Non-Managers. Please make sure you cascade this new pack to all Line Managers within your team for them to use when agreeing their own and their team’s Objectives. In summary, everyone should have 5 objectives made up as follows: · From the selection of Strategic Objectives, all those with Line Manager responsibility will identify 3 which are most relevant to them and agree with their Manager the detail and measure of each which would be specific to them · People Managers will also take a People Objective – dependent on whether they are TCLC or other People Managers · All colleagues will take a Customer Objective · People Managers should then agree 1 more additional objective specific to their business area · Non-Managers will agree 5 local objectives with their Line Manager using the Strategic Objective Themes and Titles ensuring that at least one of these is Customer based How about I just try and do my job well, aye? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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