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Footballing Clichés


Seymour Skinner

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Hate when commentators or supporters say things like 'well if you were to offer him the draw just now he would take it' or 'he'd have bitten your hand off had you offered him 3rd place'. We'll you can't fuckin offer him anything you space cadet. Shut up about 'offering' things.

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The ball gathered pace on the wet turf.

(If that were true we're wasting millions looking for sources of renewable energy. Just make a turbine out of a ball going round a loop of wet grass, the true secret of perpetual motion.)

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The ball gathered pace on the wet turf.

(If that were true we're wasting millions looking for sources of renewable energy. Just make a turbine out of a ball going round a loop of wet grass, the true secret of perpetual motion.)

This one has always irritated me. You sometimes hear the ball accelerated away from him.

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The magic of the FA Cup.

Unless it's a properly big game, like the Arsenal-Spurs match that's on the telly now, most FA Cup ties are played in half empty stadiums often with the top teams reserve XIs. Average crowds in the cup have lagged behind league crowds for decades. Yet every time it's the cup you get Chiles and all those wankers talking about this 'magic'. Magic yer arse out of the door Chiles and Tydlesley.

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And when a tie is one of the big four away to some team of fishmongers, tractor mechanics and Breville factory workers from the 8th tier of football, it's 'the romance of the cup'.

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The phrase ' in his locker' was used regarding Morrison in the west ham game, awful stuff. The magic of the cup shite is annoying now, especially when non league teams crowds are swelled by locals attending in Man U etc shirts for the visit if a bigger side. Load of shite.

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The phrase ' in his locker' was used regarding Morrison in the west ham game, awful stuff. The magic of the cup shite is annoying now, especially when non league teams crowds are swelled by locals attending in Man U etc shirts for the visit if a bigger side. Load of shite.

Whenever a shite english centre half gets lucky with a punt up field (Dawson) they use the phrase "he's got that in his locker"

Edit for spelling

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