Worst Town In Scotland

[NotThePars]

The majority of deaths in Townhead must come from feail people failing to find the entrance to either of the Townhead Medical Practices or turning up to the wrong one if they survive the initial feat.

[BillyAnchor]

My grandfather lived in a slum in Townhead before they moved to Springburn (then a very nice place).  I think they knocked all the slums down pre 70s, in my time in the city it never had a bad reputation.

[ah-dee]

i stayed in scotstoun in glasgow for a while in 2007/8 and it was a fucking dive. i rented a flat on larchfield avenue for 8 months and the whole area offered not a thing. there was a really manky chinese around the corner abd and a crappy little shop. also a pub i jad no interewt i ever going into

[The OP]

7 hours ago, Ya Bezzer! said:

A friend of mine used to live close by on Garnethill and from what I heard Cowcaddens had a bad reputation for burglaries and robberies.  Especially the area around the underpasses and the flats nearby.  

And while I wouldn't say Woodside is 'rough' it has a lot of shitty landlords and poorly maintained properties.

I’ve lived in Garnethill and Port Dundas and never had a problem. Garnethill will have a high crime rate purely because of its proximity to the shit end of Sauchiehall St. As schemes in the bottom 5% go, Cowcaddens is incredibly placid.

[SweeperDee]

 
Cunningly hiding the Raploch behind a volcanic plug
 
Well played Stirling

I’d say in terms of scenic situation, Stirling tops basically every other city in Scotland. Beautiful surroundings.

Followed closely by Dundee, and the beautiful river that flows alongside it.

[KnightswoodBear]

6 hours ago, ah-dee said:

i stayed in scotstoun in glasgow for a while in 2007/8 and it was a fucking dive. i rented a flat on larchfield avenue for 8 months and the whole area offered not a thing. there was a really manky chinese around the corner abd and a crappy little shop. also a pub i jad no interewt i ever going into

McNabbs.

[topcat(The most tip top)]

2 hours ago, SweeperDee said:

 

I’d say in terms of scenic situation, Stirling tops basically every other city in Scotland. Beautiful surroundings.

Followed closely by Dundee, and the beautiful river that flows alongside it.

 

Beautiful silvery Tay,
With your landscapes, so lovely and gay,
Along each side of your waters, to Perth all the way;
No other river in the world has got scenery more fine,
Only I am told the beautiful Rhine,

[topcat(The most tip top)]

12 hours ago, The OP said:

Another thing I note (although it may be a bit of a non sequitur) is that there are areas like Cowcaddens and parts of Woodside in the bottom 5% and Townhead in the bottom 10% which a lot of people would generally pass through but which don’t seem especially “rough” at all.

You mean not especially rough by Glaswegian Standards

A zone can be in the Bottom 5% nationally without even being in the bottom 20% for Glasgow and about 33% of the zones in Glasgow are in the bottom 10%nationally 

Also given that these zones are so small there will be a certain amount of random noise creeping in when you zoom in to that level

 

[Hedgecutter]

3 hours ago, SweeperDee said:

I’d say in terms of scenic situation, Stirling tops basically every other city in Scotland. Beautiful surroundings.
Followed closely by Dundee, and the beautiful river that flows alongside it.

 

 

1 hour ago, topcat(The most tip top) said:

Beautiful silvery Tay,
With your landscapes, so lovely and gay,
Along each side of your waters, to Perth all the way;
No other river in the world has got scenery more fine,
Only I am told the beautiful Rhine,

 

...and the Wallace Monument on Abbey Craig is charming to be seen,
With its rugged rockery and shrubbery green,
It is rather attractive and amazing to the eyesight,
Because it is erected upon such a perpendicular height.

And the town of Stirling occupies a beautiful seat,
And the streets are very clean and neat,
And the shops are beautiful to behold,
Stocked full with goods for the young and old.

And the surrounding country is most lovely to be seen,
Especially in the summer time when Nature’s face in green,
And the beautiful river Forth, rolling on its way,
Is enough to make the tourist’s heart feel light and gay.

As from the Castle he views the scenery below,
His heart will fill with joy all aglow,
And with delight he’ll exclaim, Oh! How grand,
There’s nothing can equal you in fair Scotland.

 

[NJ2]

Worse than Lorna imo

[tarapoa]

4 hours ago, SweeperDee said:

 

I’d say in terms of scenic situation, Stirling tops basically every other city in Scotland. Beautiful surroundings.

Followed closely by Dundee, and the beautiful river that flows alongside it.

 

Of course, driving across the Tay Bridge from Fife is like the Golden Gate experience, with Dundee playing the part of downtown San Francisco.

SanFran has a district called the Tenderloin, which could easily be Lochee - so the similarities don't end there.

 

[Hedgecutter]

1 hour ago, tarapoa said:

Of course, driving across the Tay Bridge from Fife is like the Golden Gate experience, with Dundee playing the part of downtown San Francisco.

SanFran has a district called the Tenderloin, which could easily be Lochee - so the similarities don't end there.

They also like putting their wee islands to good use, although Dundee's fake submarines easily trump any Alcatraz effort.

I've known people who have regularly travelled over the Tay Bridge Bridge for years yet have never noticed these pretty much right beside it. 

Edited January 16, 2019 by Hedgecutter

[topcat(The most tip top)]

4 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

 

 

...and the Wallace Monument on Abbey Craig is charming to be seen,
With its rugged rockery and shrubbery green,
It is rather attractive and amazing to the eyesight,
Because it is erected upon such a perpendicular height.

And the town of Stirling occupies a beautiful seat,
And the streets are very clean and neat,
And the shops are beautiful to behold,
Stocked full with goods for the young and old.

And the surrounding country is most lovely to be seen,
Especially in the summer time when Nature’s face in green,
And the beautiful river Forth, rolling on its way,
Is enough to make the tourist’s heart feel light and gay.

As from the Castle he views the scenery below,
His heart will fill with joy all aglow,
And with delight he’ll exclaim, Oh! How grand,
There’s nothing can equal you in fair Scotland.

 

Beautiful city of Edinburgh, most wonderful to be seen,
With your ancient palace of Holyrood and Queen’s Park Green,
And your big, magnificent, elegant New College,
Where people from all nations can be taught knowledge.

[milton75]

1 hour ago, topcat(The most tip top) said:

Beautiful city of Edinburgh, most wonderful to be seen,
With your ancient palace of Holyrood and Queen’s Park Green,
And your big, magnificent, elegant New College,
Where people from all nations can be taught knowledge.

But not poetry of any note.

 

[gannonball]

Grimmest of Cities is Aberdeen,

Where 50 shades of grey can always be seen.

No scholars here for the natives are crass,

Thank f*ck there is now a bypass.

 

 

 

 

[topcat(The most tip top)]

16 minutes ago, milton75 said:

But not poetry of any note.

http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/

[Torpar]

1 hour ago, topcat(The most tip top) said:

Beautiful city of Edinburgh, most wonderful to be seen,
With your ancient palace of Holyrood and Queen’s Park Green,
And your big, magnificent, elegant New College,
Where people from all nations can be taught knowledge.

Students come from worldwide, to learn and grow bolder,

Though many of those English students walk with a chip on their shoulder,

They curse their luck, just wondering what went wrong in their school life,

Cause they only went to Edinburgh, as they couldn’t get into Fife  

[Hedgecutter]

5 hours ago, gannonball said:

Grimmest of Cities is Aberdeen,

Where 50 shades of grey can always be seen.

No scholars here for the natives are crass,

Thank f*ck there is now a bypass.

Oh beautiful city of Aberdeen,

When the sun is out it is most charming to be seen,

With it's sparkling granites despite rock so grey,

Which gives it the name the Granite City,

 

With its fine location by the sea,

Between the rivers Don and Dee,

With golden beaches which you won't  see,

In the likes of Glasgow, Edinbugh or Dundee.

 

'Tis most lovely to see architecture well done,

Thanks to great man called Archibald Simpson,

And other architects too did well,

To build the Castlegate with its citadel.

 

And Marischal College with its turrets high,

Which seem to reach up to the sky,

And when you see its size you will realise why,

It's the second largest granite building in the world.

 

But the city has an evil curse,

Just look to the sky, not rain but worse,

You'll see them fly, hover and soar,

Seagulls the size of a small labrador.

 

But the beautiful 'Deen with it's silvery bay,

'Tis amongst the places I'd like to stay,

And even at the weekends should you wish to get away,

You can walk down and get the boat for a holiday.

 

For there are ferries to Shetland and to Orkney,

And they even sail from the harbour daily,

And should you wish to go to Norway,

You can catch a plane from the airport at Dyce,

To Stavanger, which like Aberdeen, is very nice.

Edited January 16, 2019 by Hedgecutter

[gannonball]

1 minute ago, Hedgecutter said:

Oh beautiful city of Aberdeen,

When the sun is out it is most charming to be seen,

With it's sparkling granites despite rock so grey,

Which gives it the name the Granite City,

 

With its fine location by the sea,

Between the rivers Don and Dee,

With golden beaches which many would agree,

Are far more bonnie than that of Dundee.

 

And like Dundee, it receives a lot on sunshine,

Magnificent for Union Terrace Gardens in the Summer-time,

Due to lack of rain lost over the Cairngorm plateau,

As the result of a meteorological effect called a 'rain-shadow'.

 

'Tis most lovely to see architecture well done,

Thanks to great man called Archibald Simpson,

And other architects too did well,

To build the Castlegate with its citadel.

 

And Marischal College with its turrets high,

Which seem to reach up to the sky,

And when you see its size you will realise why,

It's the second largest granite building in the world.

 

And should you visit a baker or cafe,

Be sure to sample a buttery,

Like a croissant but flat and quite salty,

They should be on every breakfast buffet.

 

But the city has an evil curse,

Just look to the sky, not rain but worse,

You'll see them fly, hover and soar,

Seagulls the size of a small labrador.

 

They'll sit and watch you walk on by,

Then leave the lamp-post, spread wings and fly,

Then quickly dive down from the sky,

To try and steal your chips or pie.

 

But the beautiful 'Deen with it's silvery bay,

'Tis amongst the places I'd like to stay,

And even at the weekends should you wish to get away,

You can walk down and get the boat for a holiday.

 

For there are ferries to Shetland and to Orkney,

And they even sail from the harbour daily,

And should you wish to go to Norway,

You can catch a plane from the airport at Dyce,

To Stavanger, which like Aberdeen, is very nice.

TL;DR

[tamthebam]

Here lies the body of our Miss Charlotte,

Born a virgin, died a harlot;

She was aye a virgin at seventeen,

A remarkable thing for Aberdeen.