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Worst Town In Scotland


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We were amused as school kids to read a book of World War 2 poetry and come across an anonymous soldier's thoughts on being posted to Halkirk, Caithness:

Oh! Fucking Halkirk

 

This fucking town's a fucking cuss,

No fucking trams, no fucking bus,

Nobody cares for fucking us,

In fucking Halkirk.

 

The fucking roads are fucking bad,

The fucking folk are fucking mad,

It makes the brightest fucking sad,

In fucking Halkirk

 

All fucking clouds,all fucking rain,

No fucking kerbs, no fucking drains,

The council's got no fucking brains,

In fucking Halkirk.

 

No fucking sport no fucking games,

No fucking fun, the fucking dames,

Won't even give their fucking names,

In fucking Halkirk.

 

Everything's so fucking dear,

A fucking bob for fucking beer,

And is it good ? no fucking fear,

In fucking Halkirk.

 

The fucking flicks are fucking cold,

The fucking seats are always cold,

You can't get in for fucking gold,

In fucking Halkirk.

 

The fucking dances make you smile,

The fucking band is fucking vile,

It only cramps your fucking style,

In fucking Halkirk.

 

Best fucking place is fucking bed,

With fucking ice on your fucking head,

You might as well be fucking dead,

In fucking Halkirk.

 

No fucking grub no fucking mail,

Just fucking snow and fucking hail,

In anguish deep we fucking wail,

In fucking Halkirk.

 

The fucking pubs are fucking dry,

The fucking barmaid's fucking fly,

With fucking grief we fucking cry,

OH! f**k HALKIRK.

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18 hours ago, NJ2 said:

Excuse me, we don’t need amateurs attempting to make fun of Cowdenbeath. It’s been done;

Football fans in singing disparaging remarks about another town shocker.

How the f**k did that make the news?

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On 16/01/2019 at 23:32, Inanimate Carbon Rod said:

Ive worked with people in impoverished backgrounds all over the West of Scotland and in particular Govanhill, can honestly say the shite posted by the right wing about it is no where near accurate. There are considerably worse areas of Glasgow than Govanhill.

 

Name them. 

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9 hours ago, Daydream said:

My sense is that the worst town will almost certainly be south of the Tay.

I once met former Arbroath manager Dave Baikie. He said that Jim McLean once told him that you should never sign a player who grew up north of Dundee as they are all puny shitebags with no character or hunger for success.

Hailing from a shite town south of the Tay makes you a better footballer apparently. :rolleyes:

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A lot of good work is being done in Govanhill to address what were massive problems, the housing association are getting a handle on things and taking whole closes back into social rent but it all takes time, it's expensive and difficult. The baths is getting done up. Vicky Road is being given the placemaking treatment with a cycle path. It is fine and improving, excellent access to town and amenities. I'd rather live there than anywhere north of Firhill, or Cessnock/Ibrox, or Bridgeton, or Sighthill never mind the shitty schemes and former gangsterlands to the east and further out again.

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I think Cessnock will be up and coming shortly. There's a gradual pincer effect going on, with loads of development to the West in Govan and to the East in Gorbals/Tradeston. If I had the cash I'd be buying whole streets of tenements and doing them up there. I reckon some of them could be got for buttons.

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On 1/20/2019 at 09:19, Marshmallo said:

Name them. 

Possilpark, Ruchazie, Ruchill, Royston off the top of my head.

There are signs of light in Govanhill.  There's some nice cafes and some fantastic, georgian houses not even 100 yards from the 'worst' of it.  Queen's park terraces etc.  Victoria road has loads of independent shops.  I know there's a bad bit of Govanhill, i'm not naive, but a lot of it has been cleaned up and new pavementing put in.  There's a beautiful park with class tennis courts on its doorstep.    It's a stones throw from Strathbungo and Shawlands.

The Possil has literally nothing going for it.  Most of the north of Glasgow are total non-places with no character at all.  There's only one of Possil or Govanhill that's even going to be attempted gentrified and it's not the one in the North.

  

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