Romeo Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Worse than..................... IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Most ticket collectors are ex-military. If you hold a military bearing yourself and salute they always let you off. I wear my medals on the way to work, and a poppy...and a red beret (under my top hat). Works every time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jock001 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Train journeys are made even more expensive by fare-dodgers. I wouldn't walk into Asda and nick 40 quids worth of shopping every month so why would I want to rob Scotrail? Why would you want to rob Scotrail? revenge. They get government subsidies yet still are unable to provide a ticket to anywhere that's cheaper than going by car. On top of this they take gret pride in Charging EVEN MORE for their crap service during rush hour because they know people are FORCED to use the train because there isn't any reasonably priced parking anywhere near their work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Why would you want to rob Scotrail? revenge. They get government subsidies yet still are unable to provide a ticket to anywhere that's cheaper than going by car. On top of this they take gret pride in Charging EVEN MORE for their crap service during rush hour because they know people are FORCED to use the train because there isn't any reasonably priced parking anywhere near their work. It's not cheaper then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Most ticket collectors are ex-military. If you hold a military bearing yourself and salute they always let you off. I wear my medals on the way to work, and a poppy...and a red beret (under my top hat). Works every time. "On the way to work" Oh, how I laughed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie95 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I found if you sit on reserved seats ticket inspectors walk right past so if you're going to another station without barriers you don't need a ticket Just thought I would share this wee gem saves me 40per month Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 "On the way to work" Oh, how I laughed. Aye, point taken I suppose. I am presently travelling the country oiling the machinery of Government and spreading my wisdom to the unenlightened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 A bit off topic, but if you want to keep a full table to yourself on the train, smile endearingly at anyone who approaches. A few tins on the table helps too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wirez Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I've never intentionally bumped the train. There has been a few times that the ticket inspectors have started their round down the other end and by the time it is my stop they have not reached me. A free train in those circumstances is fair enough imo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I'm Brian Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 It will soon be free tickets for all, when the railways are re nationalised in an independent country Are all you fare dodgers, sitting in the wrong seat brigade happy that you have something in common with George Osborne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thisGRAEME Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 It is, you can have them up for assault if they touch you. Then you claim compen. Please, please attempt this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I find that the more fingers you have up your bum, the less likely they are to bother you. By this I mean that with just the solitary finger up the bum you would be most at risk of them checking your ticket. Get all 8 fingers up there and there is no chance they will even acknowledge your existence, let alone check your ticket. Works a treat, save for having fingers smelling and tasting of bum. Under no circumstances should the thumbs ever be fired up there. Not only are they designed in such a fashion that their unique shape and texture makes the anal sphincter quiver, increasing the likelihood of having you bum-bum turned into a fleshy Chinese finger trap, but it's simply poor chat and strictly for fucking weirdos. Get out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boson Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Even better, wear a top hat and a monocle to complete the " I have a right to be here" look and sit in 1st class. Works everytime. Or do what Gideon Osbourne does and by standard class only to sit in first class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoopy1967 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I find that the more fingers you have up your bum, the less likely they are to bother you. By this I mean that with just the solitary finger up the bum you would be most at risk of them checking your ticket. Get all 8 fingers up there and there is no chance they will even acknowledge your existence, let alone check your ticket. Works a treat, save for having fingers smelling and tasting of bum. Under no circumstances should the thumbs ever be fired up there. Not only are they designed in such a fashion that their unique shape and texture makes the anal sphincter quiver, increasing the likelihood of having you bum-bum turned into a fleshy Chinese finger trap, but it's simply poor chat and strictly for fucking weirdos. Get out. I've contacted social services, they'll be there with in the hour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wing Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I find that the more fingers you have up your bum, the less likely they are to bother you. By this I mean that with just the solitary finger up the bum you would be most at risk of them checking your ticket. Get all 8 fingers up there and there is no chance they will even acknowledge your existence, let alone check your ticket. Works a treat, save for having fingers smelling and tasting of bum. Under no circumstances should the thumbs ever be fired up there. Not only are they designed in such a fashion that their unique shape and texture makes the anal sphincter quiver, increasing the likelihood of having you bum-bum turned into a fleshy Chinese finger trap, but it's simply poor chat and strictly for fucking weirdos. Get out. Not on my fucking train you don't! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Not on my fucking train you don't! You're no fun. No pens, no fingers up the bum, no huffing from a jar containing a bird fetus. Old hoor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I'm Brian Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Not on my fucking train you don't! Do scotrail issue disposable gloves for this particular scenario? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 I've contacted social services, they'll be there with in the hour Why? That was a valuable safety message to the ticket dodging fisting community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Why? That was a valuable safety message to the ticket dodging fisting community. Indeed. Nazis man, fucking nazis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoopy1967 Posted October 18, 2013 Share Posted October 18, 2013 Indeed. Nazis man, fucking nazis. Hey I'm all for pens, fingers up the bum but I draw the line at bird fetus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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