The 50 Best Posters in P&B History

[Smurph]

I can confirm that Bert is an alright guy.

[mattydfc]

The Yanks call vodka orange a "screwdriver" I believe. No idea why. It's my go to drink on a night out between pints and VKs.

That's pretty rough. Get on to Wonga and stick what they give you on Falkirk to win at Dens today.

I did wake up to texts from wonga this morning. They came through at 02.50 so I'm assuming that what when i was at the casino.

Ps we'll pump the bairns

[wingsoverperthshire]

Ps we'll pump the bairns

reported.

[mattydfc]

reported.

I was going to invite you along though.

[Bert Raccoon]

To be a non Zero Pointer is all I have strived to be. My mission is now complete. Thank you.

[wingsoverperthshire]

I was going to invite you along though.

complaint withdrawn.

[Marshmallo]

To be a non Zero Pointer is all I have strived to be. My mission is now complete. Thank you.

7 votes is not to be sniffed at.

[Sweet Pete]

I like Bert.

[KeeperDee]

 

Doesn't sound too bad.  I'm a vodka and fresh orange man myself.  Was downing them last night before losing literally every last penny I own in the casino.  

 

#undece 

Good night then?

[Enigma]

Bert's a good poster and a sound guy. Good for a one liner in here and he takes his name from one of my favourite cartoons as a child. I has happy to include him on my list.

[mattydfc]

Good night then?

No. I had to take a bank loan out this morning to do me to payday.

[KeeperDee]

 

No.  I had to take a bank loan out this morning to do me to payday. 

I warned you.

[Bert Raccoon]

I recognise the name but I honestly can't think of a single post Bert Racoon has made.

I'm distinctly average tbh and I normally just fly below the radar so that's not entirely surprising.

[Quentin Taranbino]

I'm distinctly average tbh and I normally just fly below the radar so that's not entirely surprising.

Nothing wrong with being average. Well done Bert

[Marshmallo]

33. Yoda

Post count: 13,466

Reputation: 2856

What you said: “Not just the classic username but he's a very intelligent guy, I don't cross paths with him too often but when I do his posts are always at least well thought out”

“Not as "box office" as some other guys, but he is consistently interesting and funny. His football posts are usually bang on, which is a rarity on here to be honest - there are too few folk who "get it".”

Did he get any first places?: No

The poll: Yoda picked up five nominations – a fourth, a sixth and two sevenths. No ties in terms of points for Yoda as he finished just a point short of the top thirty.

The poster: I really rate Yoda as a poster. He was very close to making my top ten and if I’d had fifteen votes he’d definitely have picked one up. Enough of you obviously agree.

Yoda first came to my attention because he always had gifs of Katy Perry in his avatar. I’ll be honest – if Katy Perry approached me in the Garage on a Saturday night and offered to have casual sexual relations with me I’d almost certainly say yes. Behind the bouncing chebs though there was substance – Yoda knows his shit. He was one of the best posters in the First Division forum when Ross County were there, and he was able to mix humour with his level of knowledge. I’d imagine this has transitioned well into the Premiership forum. I seem to recall he was beeling about Farid winning the PotY award but maybe I am exaggerating there. He’s also a good read in the Misc Other Football forum. As was said above, he is an excellent poster when it comes to football, which is something which is strangely missing at times on here.

Yoda is some boy in General Nonsense as well. He has a good mix of patter and having a brain in his head. He can engage in debates on some decent subjects but can remain funny as well. Quite a few people on here are unable to mix the two, but Yoda is very capable of doing so. I’m pretty sure he’s active in the TV & Film forum, and if memory serves he’s got a Christopher Nolan fetish (if this is someone else then I apologise). I rarely stray into that forum though as I’ve said. He posts in the Music Forum fairly regularly as well and seems alright there too.

I personally always thought Yoda would’ve been a good member of Club DECE. I’m unsure on his aesthetics/lifting frequency but he seems like the sort of guy I’d be mates with. His taste in jackets is a bit dodgy but he is a decent follow on Twitter. Crucially, I think he’s getting better as a poster the older he gets as well. I hope he continues to post at a high standard because I like the boy. Keep on moving forward, bring back the Katy Perry avatar, and he could comfortably be a top twenty poster if this poll’s done again in a year or two.

[peeeel]

33. Yoda

Post count: 13,466

Reputation: 2856

What you said: “Not just the classic username but he's a very intelligent guy, I don't cross paths with him too often but when I do his posts are always at least well thought out”

“Not as "box office" as some other guys, but he is consistently interesting and funny. His football posts are usually bang on, which is a rarity on here to be honest - there are too few folk who "get it".”

Did he get any first places?: No

The poll: Yoda picked up five nominations – a fourth, a sixth and two sevenths. No ties in terms of points for Yoda as he finished just a point short of the top thirty.

The poster: I really rate Yoda as a poster. He was very close to making my top ten and if I’d had fifteen votes he’d definitely have picked one up. Enough of you obviously agree.

Yoda first came to my attention because he always had gifs of Katy Perry in his avatar. I’ll be honest – if Katy Perry approached me in the Garage on a Saturday night and offered to have casual sexual relations with me I’d almost certainly say yes. Behind the bouncing chebs though there was substance – Yoda knows his shit. He was one of the best posters in the First Division forum when Ross County were there, and he was able to mix humour with his level of knowledge. I’d imagine this has transitioned well into the Premiership forum. I seem to recall he was beeling about Farid winning the PotY award but maybe I am exaggerating there. He’s also a good read in the Misc Other Football forum. As was said above, he is an excellent poster when it comes to football, which is something which is strangely missing at times on here.

Yoda is some boy in General Nonsense as well. He has a good mix of patter and having a brain in his head. He can engage in debates on some decent subjects but can remain funny as well. Quite a few people on here are unable to mix the two, but Yoda is very capable of doing so. I’m pretty sure he’s active in the TV & Film forum, and if memory serves he’s got a Christopher Nolan fetish (if this is someone else then I apologise). I rarely stray into that forum though as I’ve said. He posts in the Music Forum fairly regularly as well and seems alright there too.

I personally always thought Yoda would’ve been a good member of Club DECE. I’m unsure on his aesthetics/lifting frequency but he seems like the sort of guy I’d be mates with. His taste in jackets is a bit dodgy but he is a decent follow on Twitter. Crucially, I think he’s getting better as a poster the older he gets as well. I hope he continues to post at a high standard because I like the boy. Keep on moving forward, bring back the Katy Perry avatar, and he could comfortably be a top twenty poster if this poll’s done again in a year or two.

Yoda should be higher up the list IMO. Agree with most of what Marshmallo said.

[yoda]

I can confirm that:

• I was beeling at Farid's award.
• I do love a bit of Christopher Nolan (although a new appreciation of Paul Thomas Anderson has seen the focus shift).
• I have an exquisite taste in jackets in general, bright yellow raincoat aside.
• I'm #aesthetic as f**k and despite being new to the lifting game, I'm seeing #all #kinds #of #gainz (I also have a new appreciation of MD).
• I am putting serious consideration into reviving the Katy Perry avatar.

Kind words from Marshmallo. I certainly did not offer a two year's supply of Orange Jubilee in return for a good write-up and a place on the list.

[Marshmallo]

Due to the use of a gif from one of the worst TV shows ever made, I regret to announce that Yoda's positioning on the list has been withdrawn.

More to follow.

[Reid]

Yoda made my top 10. I follow him on Twitter too. Seems like a sound guy. I like his jacket.

[Marshmallo]

32. Fudge

Post count: 17,733

Reputation: 1223

What you said: “Another guy who doesn't post as much as he did, but he was another one who "got it" about football. Came up with loads of cracking one-liners in the GN forum too.”

Did he get any first places?: No

The poll: Two second and two sevenths for Fudge, which is pretty weird. This gave him a total of 26 points, which tied him on points with three other posters. More on that later though.

The poster: Fudge has been on P&B for over a decade. That’s a long time – more than twice as long as myself, for example. With that in mind, there’s no doubt plenty things I will not be able to include in this write-up which is unfortunate and I can only apologise for that. What I will say is that Fudge is one of the few guys who have been here for ages who have managed to remain relevant and interesting throughout all the time I’ve been here, and he still maintains a position at the forefront of the forum.

I always enjoyed Fudge’s posts which were directed towards Kilt. The Stenny boys used to wind him up something awful, which led to Kilt being permanently beeling at what he referred to as “The Larbert Mafia”. Dubs and Fudge would often talk about knowing of things Kilt had done which were incredibly disturbing/horrific. I always wondered what these were or if they even existed, as they were never explicitly talked about. Perhaps one day I will find out. It was before my time so I may well be wrong, but was it Fudge that was challenged to a square go at 12 Ruel Street? I’m really not sure now I’ve typed that but f**k it. If so, that is an iconic moment in P&B history (although obviously not iconic enough that I can remember insignificant details like who was involved). Elsewhere in General Nonsense Fudge has been a driving force behind the top level football known as “Glasgow Area Fives” (VLs). I have no idea why but I have read this thread on and off for years. They seem like good c***s and I enjoy the mad dash on a Monday to try and get someone to text someone so they can text their mate to see if they can bring three extra players. The Area patter has grown on me over time (Merchant City Area Area Patter Appreciators – M.Mallo). Recently Fudge has also become a member of Club DECE, which in my opinion is the wisest move he has ever made. He assimilated into the group with ease – he lifts extensively, has an avatar of a blue bottle of MD, and he regularly discusses his shagging habits on the forum. I believe he and Smurph were the first members of the club to enjoy a decebomb, or at least the first to present photographic evidence of this. I have yet to try one but it is high on my list of priorities. In real life Fudge used to share (still shares?) a flat with Ad Lib, which I’ve always thought should be a sitcom on E4. Not sure I’d watch it but it would probably do a respectable number given the channel and timeslot.

Thankfully I’ve never had to see Falkirk slum it in the Seaside Leagues, and there’s never any danger of Stenny making it to a level above playing other village sides, so I’m not very sure on what to say above Fudge’s divisional posts. I seem to recall him trying to give Davie Irons’ daughter (wee darling btw) some patter when she registered on here to defend her father, but I haven’t seen many other Stenny threads. He’s a good read in Misc Other Football. I particularly enjoy his posts about travelling to games abroad, which are informative and well written. He knows his stuff when it comes to what happens on the park as well, which is always a positive. Fudge also brings a wealth of knowledge to the Gambling Forum, and for me he’s one of the top five posters in the history of that section of the site. I’ve learned a lot about football betting from reading his posts in there and that’s greatly appreciated.

I didn’t vote for Fudge but I kind of wish I did. He’s far too low in this poll. To me, this is exactly what a top ten poster in this poll should be – he’s consistently been one of the best posters on the site over a massive period of time, and he has evolved with the forum in order to remain relevant. From what he says on here it sounds like he’s got a cracking life as well. To sum up, when I grow up I want to be Fudge.