KnightswoodBear Posted October 9, 2014 Share Posted October 9, 2014 Who did she murder? I remember she thought about smothering the bairn whilst in the throes of post-natal depression. Home and Away's fundamental weakness was a dearth of w**k fodder in comparison to Neighbours. Mrs Mangle? Oooooft. Madge? What you wouldn't. Helen Robinson? Until it fell off. Helen Robinson got sexier with every stroke. You can take that one however you like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Just the one vote from me. Fairmuir BC beat my younger brother's team (Kilpatrick BC) in a Scottish Cup semi-final replay way back in 1978 or79. I travelled up to Dundee for the replay. (We're talking under 13s or 14s) Fairmuir had great teams throughout the years. I played for Lochee BC in the late 80s/early 90s and they were still the team to beat a decade after your brother played them. Some of the games we played back then drew bigger crowds than lower league professional fixtures. Lochee vs Celtic BC in the Scottish Cup at Lochee Park had several hundred spectators. Pretty remarkable for an under-12s game. I was fucking petrified walking onto the pitch that day. Some buzz though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 It doesn't seem to limit the amount of times you can vote either so have just stuck in a few votes for Jocky. Cheers Mo. I'm going to abuse the f**k out the voting system's technical deficiencies. I'd encourage anyone else who can be arsed to do the same. If I beat c***s like Rabbie Burns, JK Rowling, Irvine Welsh and such like it's a massive win for myself, P&B and internet stupidity in general. We have the power to make it happen. #votejocky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mo Wonderboy Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 In a mission to get Jocky to beat that p***k Harry Potter I have given three of the junior guys in the office who are meant to be doing research for me the job of spamming f**k out of this instead. Trying to explain to an 18 year old Maltese bloke who Jocky is and the look on his face when explaining he is a "jet-pack wielding, top cunto of a fitba manager" was first class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeckleBooks Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 In a mission to get Jocky to beat that p***k Harry Potter I have given three of the junior guys in the office who are meant to be doing research for me the job of spamming f**k out of this instead. Trying to explain to an 18 year old Maltese bloke who Jocky is and the look on his face when explaining he is a "jet-pack wielding, top cunto of a fitba manager" was first class.Is this 18-year-old Maltese boy your Dong Chu? *#votejocky * Presuming you've read The Tartan Special One or that'll make zero sense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeckleBooks Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Interview with myself and Barry on British Comedy Guide if anyone's remotely interested - http://www.comedy.co.uk/shop/teckle_books_interview/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dundeebarry Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Vote Jocky! That "Or select your own..." field in the above link is just begging for "Jocky from The Tartan Special One by Barry Phillips" in it. It's almost sexual. Penetrate that thing, people. Stick your Jocky-voting dicks in it and f**k it like Hamilton Accies molesting expectations as to who'd be top of the league at this stage of the season. Oh Lordy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Apologies for steering the conversation away from Jocky's attempt to become the greatest literary character in Scottish history. My copy of Clubbed To Death arrived yesterday. Looking forward to reading it. One question, is "Frank" a hairy lad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
die hard doonhamer Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 The courier backing the cause. http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/dundee/jocky-or-hyde-who-is-the-greatest-character-in-scottish-fiction-1.657216 '> http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/dundee/jocky-or-hyde-who-is-the-greatest-character-in-scottish-fiction-1.657216 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deadasdillinger Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 About 50 pages into Clubbe To Death and enjoying it. Not wanting to spoil anything but there was a memorable line about Take That which buckled me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honestly united Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Jocky only made it to 14th, although he was the top wildcard! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-30227438 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy_K_97 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 El disappointo. But it's teckle that we got it that far, may the legend of Jocky continue to spread! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Wha the f**k's Frankie Crawford, ken? Thank f**k I'm not the only uneducated oaf on here, then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Thank f**k I'm not the only uneducated oaf on here, then. Seconded, I'd never even heard of the Lymond Chronicles. I blame the Scottish education system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ranaldo Bairn Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I notice they give Jocky a surname in that BBC piece. Ooft. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 If voters could not see their character of choice on the shortlist, they could nominate one.Jocky Scott, a character from cult comedy novel The Tartan Special One by Dundee-born Barry Phillips, won the most wildcard votes and came 14th in the list. Moral victory surely? All the other cuntos had their own button. Jocky's fans had to type in his name, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H_B Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Who the f**k is Francis Crawford of Lymond?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H_B Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I like how it specifies "Dundee-born Barry Phillips" - recognising that no one sane would choose to remain there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Who the f**k is Francis Crawford of Lymond?? No idea. However I can see him/her getting a scene in Barry's next book Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagfox Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Barry came to the land of humus and olives... Glasgow's leafy west-end! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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